Flashback
by Chibiyu
Summary: Sometimes, you want nothing more then to take back the past that is haunting you. But you never can. Because sometimes, even the best choices aren't always the right ones to take. JONAS COMPLETE
1. Prologue

**Chibiyu: **_New story! It's weird…even I will admit it here and now. Enjoy!_

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**FLASHBACK**

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_**Summary: **_Sometimes, you want nothing more than to take back the past that is haunting you. But you never can. Because even the best choices aren't always the right ones to take.

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_You hit the ground running but there's no hope for escape. But you still have to try. _

_It's try or die. _

_They don't care who you are or what you may or may not have done, they only care that you are alive when in their minds, you should be dead. And it's not your fault you happen to be this way or that you believe in what you do. None of that is your fault. Sometimes, you just don't have a choice. In this life, this world, you never did. _

_But I am making a choice. _

_And what is that choice, you may ask?_

_To Live. To be free. _

_But as a gun shot slices through the thickening air, you realize, that sometimes, even the best choices, aren't the right ones. _

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**Chibiyu: **_Yup. That was it. The Prologue. You know what to do! Or is the temptation of hitting a pretty blue button not working on you? :~) Until Next Update!_

_Three reviews until I update, so I know you all are interested. _


	2. Splash

**Chibiyu: **_Hi! Here it is! Any clue as to who the narrator was last chapter? Here's a hint, it's not Nick. _

**Nick: **_…I'm free?_

**Chibiyu: **_*shrugs* For now. _

**Nick: **_I'll take it!_

_DON'T OWN JONAS BUT THE OC'S AND PLOT ARE MINE! _

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I was happy. An amazing tour with my brothers had just ended and the summer was still upon us and there was nothing but golden sunshine lining the horizon. And there I was, stretched out on a lawn chair, facing the beautiful LA ocean, letting my muscles relax for the first time in months while soaking up the warmth of the sun's kiss.

My two brothers were on both sides of me and the two girls, Stella and Macy, laying on the pool rafts, just floating around.

Life was good.

And then it turned sour.

I was suddenly yanked form the chair, wincing as my skin stuck, and then thrown in the air, flailing about like a flightless bird before…

SPLASH!

"KEVIN!" I shouted, shaking my sopping hair form my eyes as I came to the pools surface. "NICK!"

I flipped out of the chilly water, growling with fake anger and glaring playfully at my two doomed brothers. Nick was the youngest but the most wise and mature at 17. Kevin was a child at heart, but I loved my big brother, and yes, he's married (sorry ladies).

"I'm gonna get you!" I yelled, running at them. Nick smartly walked calmly to the other side of the pool while Kevin ran straight ahead, knowing full well I was faster than he was. In no time, I tackled my older brother and dragged him, kicking, screaming and laughing to the pool's edge. I pushed him over easily, laughing the whole time as I took my revenge. But Kevin never let go of my wrist and...HOLY CRAP WHAT JUST JUMPED ON MY BACK?

I fell, unsteadied by the sudden weight and for the second time today…

SPLASH!

I surfaced to see Frankie, sitting, now wet, on the pool's edge, smiling rather evilly at me. Oh I see how it is. But first…I tipped Stella's raft and Kevin tipped Macy's. Stella went red in anger, having ruined her hair but Macy was laughing and telling us how good the water felt in the 90 degree heat. I won't lie, it did fell really good. But there was still one fro bro to get back.

Said brother was back to sitting on the lawn chairs, eyeing us warily, never blinking. I smiled at him and his eyes widened. I pulled myself from the pool and he stood.

"Oh no." He whispered and he was off, running into the house. But he had no hope of winning against me this time.

I chased him everywhere; over beds, through door ways, under bunk beds, over bunk beds, and now even out a window, but of course, I won this race. Well, I would. And Nick knew it. I was inches from grabbing him when he suddenly bolted ahead, aiming right for the pool.

What is he doing?

He got to the pool's edge me right behind him, hand out and fingers brushing his back. But he didn't stop at the water's edge. He _leapt _over the edge, landed for a second on the pool raft and jumped to the other side. I was not so lucky.

Curse my brother and his unholy luck and skill at winning!

"Hey Joe?" Nick called, smiling tauntingly at me, a few feet away. "I _always _win."

Someday I will beat you little bother! Count on it!

…TIME SKIP!

The landscape glowed in the dimming light with color's that shouldn't be possible for the sun to make. Purples, pinks, golds, and reds painted the sky and muted the colors of everything around us. It was only me and Stella, the others having long since retreated inside to dry off. The silence around us was untouched, not one bird sang and not one leave rustled, leaving this time for perfection and not distraction.

"STOP!" 

We both jumped as the silence was shattered with a scream, the glass landing and cutting me and Stella.

"Kevin?" I called, knowing that voice anywhere. Stella took my hand in fear. That scream was not one of joking, like before. No, it was one of fear.

"KEVIN!" Macy yelled, as though begging and worried. Her scream reverberated, waking up the night and bird took flight, but it was still oddly silent. Stella and I backed up until the house was melting into the shadows.

**I should have helped them. I realize that now. **

A hand went over my mouth and Stella's and I flipped, out, elbowing our attacker in the gut, adrenaline replacing blood and my heart pounding harder than Nick's drums. The person's hand was ripped from our mouths as he or she fell to the ground and we both spun around, me forcing Stella behind me.

"Nick?" I asked incredulity edging its way into my whisper. He nodded mutely, rubbing his chest, where I had elbowed him.

"Ow." He commented dryly, but I heard the shake in his voice. A shake I _never _heard in Nick's voice. Fear. Whatever was happening in that house, it was real. And it was bad.

Nick stood, eyes never leaving the house in question.

"They already have Macy and Kevin and Frankie." He whispered, panic hinted in his quiet voice. "Don't let them get you too!"

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_JOE'S POV_

I bolted up in bed, feeling the familiar beating of my thundering heart, the cool dripping of the cold sweat on my forehead and neck, the weight on my heart and the burn of tears in my eyes. I moved to run my fingers through my hair, as I did every night I woke up form that nightmare, and I heard the familiar sound of my chains jingling as I raised my wrist.

I'm sorry Nick. I let them get me.

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**Chibiyu: **_Started off nice and boring and then BAM, my normal angst. :~) Until Next Update!_


	3. Save Us

**Chibiyu: **_Hehe…I can't wait for more JONAS LA!_

**Nick: **_I can't wait to NOT be tortured!_

**Chibiyu: **_Yeah…about that…_

**Nick: **_…you didn't._

_IF I OWNED JONAS, I WOULDN'T BE ALLOWED WITHIN 100 FEET OF THE BROTHERS! Which, thankfully, I am. _

**_ALL OF THE BOLD IS A FLASHBACK!_**

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**I bolted up in bed, feeling the familiar beating of my thundering heart, the cool dripping of the cold sweat on my forehead and neck, the weight on my heart and the burn of tears in my eyes. I moved to run my fingers through my hair, as I did every night I woke up form that nightmare, and I heard the familiar sound of my chains jingling as I raised my wrist. **

**I'm sorry Nick. I let them get me. **

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JOE'S POV

Even now, with it all done and over…well far from over actually, but that's beside the point, even though that day is long gone, I still wish I could turn back time. I still wish I could change it. But no…I had to relive it each and everyday. I had to relive what I failed to do. I saved one when I should have saved the other. But still…I stand by my choice and I knew Nick would have too…if I knew where he was.

I thought back as far as I could, but I didn't remember the date of the day when I last saw my brother. Actually…it was that day…

** -"They already have Macy and Kevin and Frankie." He whispered, panic hinted in his quiet voice. "Don't let them get you too!" **

**"It's too late for that little Nicky." A voice from behind us sneered and Nick all but jumped out of his skin as he knocked me back. A hand wrapped around his arm and forced him back and someone moved from behind me. **

**Wait…Stella! I turned around to see her being dragged next to Nick. But why weren't they fighting back? Stella was struggling a little but Nick was still, his face calm. I looked at him in confusion but he just glared at me, telling me to be quiet. He sent the same look to Stella, who instantly stopped moving. **

**"I see Nicky here learns fast…" The person holding me whispered, laughing. But his laugh sounded more like a croaking frog than something sinister. "Now Joe…you have a choice ahead of you…who will you choose for freedom?" **

**What? They wanted me to choose between my girlfriend and my brother? **

**"Joe, I swear I will kill you if they pick me." Nick broke the silence, and I saw in his dark orbs, he meant it. **

**Stella bit her lip. "No Joe. Pick Nick! He's your brother, you have to protect him! And what about his diabetes?" **

**Great…how can I choose? **

**Nick met my gaze calmly, but there was something I didn't like in his eyes; fear. But not for himself, but for me picking him. **

**"Joe, think of what they can do to Stella." He stated, his voice shaking a bit and Stella paled in the moonlight but she still looked defiant. **

**"And think of what will happen to Nick!" She almost yelled and the guy behind me tapped his foot impatiently. Should I choose Nick and let them…rape…Stella or should I choose Stella and let Nick…die?**

**"I'm sorry…" I whispered to the ground, my mind made up. And I pointed to the lucky person. –**

I still don't know if that choice was right or not. I picked Stella. And I am glad I did, no girl, especially one as delicate as her, should have to go through this. But now my own brother was…or he wasn't. I didn't even know if him and Kevin were alive…I do remember the van…

** Nick looked relieved that my finger pointed at Stella and she looked sad and fearful. But I had no time to rethink my answer. Stella was pushed away, her phone taken, and Nick and I were grabbed and thrown over someone's shoulder. **

**"I'll save you guys! I promise!" Stella yelled, but she didn't get up, knowing the danger she would be in if she did. **

**"Thanks." Nick whispered but I didn't look at him. I just doomed him, and he knew it. So why in the world was he thanking me? **

**My heart pounded with a force strong enough to break my ribs as I heard a car door open and as I felt a length of cord go around my wrists. I looked to Nick and I saw him trying to mask his true feelings with his normal face, but his fear of the unknown shown through and there was never any hiding the worry behind his eyes. Nick raised his gaze to mine and I saw some softness return to them and I smiled a little and nodded in agreement. **

**At least we were together. **

**We were dropped in the car, the door slamming and darkness engulfing us in a shroud of nothing. **

**"A van?" Nick mused and I heard him scooting closer to me, his leg touching mine. **

**"Nick?" A hoarse voice asked. "Not you too!"**

**"Kevin!" I called, happy but at the same time, not. They got us all. **

**"No! Joe too?" Kevin whispered, sounding both worried and angry. "Where are you guys?" As an answer, I felt Nick scoot towards his voice and I did the same, my arm brushing Kevin's. At least I think it was Kevin's. **

**"Where's Macy and Frankie?" Nick asked sounding quite upset. **

**"I made a choice…me or them and I chose them." Kevin answered and Nick sighed out in relief. "What about you? Where's Stella?"**

**"I saved her…I chose her…" I stared, unable to finish my sentence.**

**"Over me." Nick finished. "And I am glad you did."**

**Why little brother? I could have doomed you with this decision. Stella may be delicate, we all knew the tough thing was an act, but you had something she didn't. Something that could kill you. I should have chosen you…**

**"You made the right decision Joe." Kevin told me but it still felt so wrong. "At least we are together."**

**I don't know how long we sat in silence, occasionally one of us would shift or sigh, but other than that, everything was quiet. We couldn't see anything still and we had no way of knowing where we were going or who took us or what was happening. To say we were scared us an understatement. But we would never openly admit it. **

**"What happens if they separate us?" I questioned, not wanting that to happen at all. We all needed each other to get through whatever what was ahead of us. It had always been that way. I expected Nick to answer but when he didn't, I started getting anxious. **

**"Let's hope they don't." Kevin finally answered after a few minutes of silence. "But if they do…"**

**"We have to carry on." Nick whispered, voice muffled by what I assumed to be Kevin's shirt. And then he surprised us. "I love you guys."**

**I felt Kevin look at me and I shrugged, knowing he could feel it. "We love you too Nick." We both chorused. And then the van stopped. **

Did Nick know those were the last words we would ever say to him? Because as soon as that van stopped, Nick was taken out of it, kicking and screaming, us trying and failing to get to him…and then the door slamming and the van moving again…and Kevin cried on my shoulder. I never saw Nick again…it's been three years…how did I know he was still alive?

I looked up to the low cement ceiling, hating how I saw the drawings of the bored and tortured occupants before me.

_Kill me now…_

One wrote that in what looks like old blood. And I can't blame them.

_Never again…_

Another that showed up commonly. And another I agreed with. I never again wanted to do a lot of the things I had to do…but of course, 'never' never happened.

_God, save us all_

That one was mine…and I was still waiting for that prayer to be answered. But so far…we were stuck in Hell.

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**Chibiyu: **_I know it is short, I am in London right now and I will update but they may be shorted than normal do to my lack of time. Oh and Les Miserables is incredible if anyone is going to see it. Until ext Update!_

_If anyone is familiar with London time, it is a VERY early foggy London morning and all the dreamers are asleep, but me. My dreams are too big for sleep...or in other words, I can't sleep…stupid nightmare. _


	4. Pillow Fight

**Chibiyu: **_Huh…_

**Nick: **_What?_

**Chibiyu: **_…nothing. I think…shadows normally move right? And I am using Kevin's middle name from the TV show. Lol…Percy. hahah_

**DON'T OWN JONAS**

**-all bold is a flashback- **

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**_God, save us all_**

**That one was mine…and I was still waiting for that prayer to be answered. But so far…we were stuck in Hell. **

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**JOE'S POV**

Nicholas Jerry Lucas. Kevin Percy Lucas. Both my brothers. Both gone. I traced their names on the ceiling and sighed, hating the feeling of the all too familiar roughness of the concrete. I missed them so much. Three years…if they were alive, would I still recognize them? Would they be able to recognize me? After all…I could barely remember what Nick looked like when he was kicking and fighting to get back to us…and I couldn't even see Kevin after that.

**-The doors slammed closed and we both heard the click of the lock and out brother yelling our names. And yet we could do nothing to help him as the van lurched forward. We could only scream Nick's name in hopes that would somehow help. But it didn't. He was gone. We should have protected him! He was our little brother…and we did nothing. We let him get taken away from us. I'm sorry Nick. I am so sorry. **

**I felt Kevin's head drop on my shoulder and I felt something I never thought I would feel; Kevin's tears. And I did something I never thought I would do; I cried too. Nick was gone. Who was next to leave? What if they were going to kill Nick? What if they were going to hurt him and deny him insulin? Why did I choose him? I doomed my little brother. **

**"I'm sorry Kev." I whispered and he shook his head. **

**"You made the _right _choice Joe. You have _nothing _to be sorry for. If you choose Stella…one of the guys said he would kill any girl." I blinked. So I saved Stella's life…**

**We sat in silence for minutes on end and then the van stopped again. **

**"No matter what happens Joe," Kevin whispered quickly, "I _will _get out and save you and Nick. I promise." I nodded and then we both heard footsteps approaching the back door.**

**"I love you Kevin." I whispered in response and Kevin whispered the same. The door opened and a rough hand grabbed my arm and tore me from Kevin. I kicked and screamed and punched and fought, but like Nick, nothing worked. I watched the van drive off, leaving me screaming Kevin's name like Nick had screamed ours. I heard him yell back and I felt my eyes brimming with tears. Why would they separate us? If they wanted ransom it would be better for us to be together, right? Or maybe they didn't want someone to break into the place we were being held and rescue all of us…**

**Please God, be with us. –**

I know my prayer that days has been answered because I was still here, still alive, still somewhat fighting. But I don't know how much more I could take. It was just sick what they did here. And after two years, I was pretty sure, that even though Kevin promised, he wasn't coming. I was alone. And I was doomed to die in this Hellish place.

I shifted so I was starring at the blood stained wall instead of the blood stained ceiling. I used to be treated like royalty…well, not really. But I used to have people that loved me instead of used me. Hugged me instead of hit me. Chanted my names instead of spitting it like chewing tobacco. I used to love life, and now, I was just barely living it. There's more to life than just to live…and I can't live life here.

I eyed the metal door as footsteps raced down the hall behind it. I saw the red flashing light of the alarm and I heard it blaring. I scooted to the far corner of my bed when I heard the commotion due down and a single set of footprints stop outside my door. They were going to do it. They were going to kill me. They finally were going to act on their threats…please God, help me. I need it now more than ever. Please help me be strong and not be afraid. Please be with my brothers, if they are still alive. Please, give me strength.

My door opened and someone tall stepped in, looking down the sloping ceiling and I avoided the person's gaze. Not that it mattered anyway, their faces was covered with the shadow of a hat. The same hat that every skunk bag in this company wore. This was it. I was going to die. I knew it.

"Stand up!" He barked and I shakily did so, stooping so I could with the low ceiling. "Come with me and no talking, or you _will _die." He grabbed my arm roughly and I held back a wince from the tightness of his hold. He pulled me outside and I did as I was told, I didn't speak and I followed him. He pulled me down the empty halls, the alarms still blaring and I looked back to see none of the other prisoners being pulled out. Why?

"Stop!" I jumped and was yanked to a stop as another man walked over to us. "What are you doing with it?" He forcefully asked the guard that was holding me. I trembled when I saw the guy in front of us reaching for his gun.

"It tried to escape. I am taking it to learn its lesson." The guy holding me growled and I didn't care that he had lied. It happened to everyone here. Everyone got roughed up when the guards where bored and so the guards would regularly lie to get us in trouble. It was routine here.

The guy in front of us gnashed his teeth while thinking and he slowly nodded, letting us by. "Make sure you kick it in the neck; that always worked before." He called after us.

"Will do." He smiled coldly at me and adjusted the hat so it covered his eyes better. But I didn't care, like I said before, all of this was routine. The bruises on my neck and the scars that laced my body proved that.

This guard, who was only slightly taller than me, led me down another empty, door less, and windowless hall, before turning around to look if anyone was behind us. He relaxed when he saw no one was. He placed a hand on the white cement wall and smiled, his other hand still firm on my arm. What was he doing? There were no doors here and we were miles from the exit, so what was going on? The guy pressed his right hand to the wall and pushed. My mouth dropped open in astonishment. The wall moved when he pushed, turning soundlessly and opening to reveal the outside world. Who knew this place was crazy enough for trap doors?

But as the guy tried to pull me outside, I struggled, hard. I was ordered to _never _leave this place, even with a guard. If I did, they would kill three of the other prisoner's. That was the threat everyone faced and I didn't want to responsible for their deaths. I _wouldn't _be responsible for their deaths.

"Come on!" The man urgently whispered, but I would not go through that door. "I'm sorry Joe…" And then he smacked both of my temples, hard, and I fell into blackness.

**-I walked into our joined rooms upstairs in our renovated firehouse and rolled my eyes as I saw the predictable sight of Nick strumming his guitar and Kevin building a bird house. His fifth one this week. **

**"Dude, I am sure you have enough houses for the birds in LA now." I joked and Kevin shook his head. **

**"No way! What if there are orphan birds that don't have a nest to live in!" Typical Kevin. I shook my head, smiling, as I wandered over to Nick, who glanced up at me. **

**"Hey." I greeted sitting next to him. "Excited for this summer?" I asked, already knowing the answer. **

**"Yeah, LA will inspire so many hit songs." Typical Nick. I punched his shoulder playfully and he glared, setting down his guitar. I stood and started walking away when something hit the back of my head. I spun around, a smile on my face and my heart thumping loudly in surprise and I saw Nick, pillow in hand and one at my feet. Oh, he was going down. **

**I bent down to pick up the pillow and another hit me squarely in the head, messing up my hair. Kevin was going to get it. I screamed a battle cry, launching myself at Kevin and Nick sat down again, watching with a skeptical look. I smashed my pillow into Kevin's face before I read the mischievous look in his eye. I nodded and we both turned toward Nick. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as he grabbed his pillow and tried to stand in time. But he was too slow. We pounced, knocked him back onto his bed and started mercilessly beating him with our pillows. After all, he started it. **

**Nick was begging us to stop but his laughter countered that and only encouraged us to continue. Eventually our arms got tired though, so we were forced to stop assault Nick with our weapons. We let him sit up and Kevin and I were still laughing, Nick now glaring. He shook his head and reached behind him for what we assumed to be a book. Nick shook his head and then something soft smacked us both in the face. We went down, still laughing and Nick stood to get the door as someone knocked. **

**"Hey guys! Ready for a summer in LA?" Stella called as she ran up the stairs, excitement on her face. "Why are you guys laughing?"**

**"I told you they were insane." Nick commented and then Stella saw the state of out clothes.-**

I groaned as I started waking up, my head pounding, a fresh wave of pain coming with every pulse and bump. Wait…bump? I pried open my eyes and found myself lying the back seat of a car, the guard from earlier driving. I only knew t was him because the light blue cap with the silver strip along the brim gave it away.

"You're awake…" He stated, sounding rather relieved and I shifted a bit before I realized something was off. I could move my hands. Why could I move my hands? I lifted my wrists to my eyes and nearly cried out in joy as I saw the shackles were gone. But joy turned to confusion as I saw that my wrists, which should have been bloody, where bandaged tightly and for once, didn't hurt. "I'm sorry I had to knock you out Joe." He whispered and I tried to get a good look at him, but I couldn't. I sat up very slowly, still eyeing the guard with fear and uncertainty. He had kidnapped me, unchained me, and was sorry for me? Why? He was one of them. He should think of me as an it, not as a human with feelings.

"W-who are you?" I managed to croak, not used to using my voice. The guy sighed and didn't answer. "How long was I out?" I tried again, my voice rough but getting stronger.

"Two hours." He answered curtly. "I've been driving ever since."

"Why?" The guy stiffened at that question. "I am nothing, you should hate me, and you should want me to rot in that place." I whispered, trying to make sense of this, but I couldn't. I was useless to everyone and unneeded. So why would this guy want to take me away from the one place human eyes never had to look at me? After all, I knew I was an ugly mess and I knew that everyone that looked at me should hate me. That's what always happened in that place.

The guy slammed on the brakes and turned to face me, the small bit of his face that I could see was pale in anger and his hands were shaking in rage. Is he going to hit me? He reached out and grabbed my shoulder firmly, but gently and I tried to remain still, but I couldn't hold back the flinch. Memories don't easily fade.

"You are NOT nothing and you are NOT useless! I don't want you to rot in that place, which is why I am saving you! Like I promised to do three years ago!"

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**Chibiyu: **_You will start to see different POV's soon and yes, this will remain centered around Joe. But of course, some chapters may not seem like that due to the need of back story. And more detail comes in later, right now I am just happy to be updating. Writer's block, you see? Until Next Update!_


	5. Reunited

**Chibiyu: **_Haha Yes I brought Kevin back after three years._

**Nick: **_But where am I?_

**Chibiyu: **_Hehe…I haven't forgotten about you Nicky…_

**DON'T OWN JONAS OR ANY SONG REFERENCES I MAY PUT IN WITHOUT NOTICING!**

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**The guy slammed on the brakes and turned to face me, the small bit of his face that I could see was pale in anger and his hands were shaking in rage. Is he going to hit me? He reached out and grabbed my shoulder firmly, but gently and I tried to remain still, but I couldn't hold back the flinch. Memories don't easily fade. **

**"You are NOT nothing and you are NOT useless! I don't want you to rot in that place, which is why I am saving you! Like I promised to do three years ago!"**

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_JOE'S POV_

_ I starred blankly at the guy for seconds on end, unable to process what he had said. Could it really be true? Could he really still be alive? Could he really be here right now? Or was this just another sick nightmare? I looked at the guys shadow covered face and gulped. If it was a nightmare, it was time to find out. I lifted my shaking arms and slowly grabbed the rim of the cap and then paused, unsure. Was I ready for this? I bit my lip and slowly lifted the hat from his head and then t fell from my hands in shock. _

"K-Kevin?" _I whispered, still not able to believe what was right in front of me. This had to be some sick joke…but could it be?_

"Hi Joe." _He whispered back and I took in his glistening eyes and shaking hands and soft but pained smile. This was real…Kevin was…_

"KEVIN!" _I cried happily, launching myself from the back seat and over the center console and into his arms. I hugged him tightly, unwilling to let him go and see him taken from me again. I can't be alone again. Now that I have him back. I instantly felt him hug me tightly too and only then did I realize I was shaking. But for once the action was not caused by coldness or fear. No, this time it was because I was happy. I had my brother back. That was all I ever really wished for when I was trapped in that hellhole of a place. _"I-I'm s-so ha-happy you're h-here." _I stuttered out, finally figuring out that I was crying into his shirt from the relief and utter happiness. _

"I'm sorry I took so long Joe." _I lifted my head at his shaky and sincere voice and smiled for the first time in months. _

"But you kept your promise and you're here now." _I told him, my voice stronger and he nodded, not smiling. I pulled away from him and sat in the passenger seat as he put the car in drive again. _"Where are we going?"

_Kevin pursed his lips and checked the mirrors. _"Someplace safer than here." 

_I sat back in the chair and looked out the window, admiring the nightscape. There was a time, and I would never admit this to anyone, but there was a time when I was afraid of the nighttime and being out it in. The shadows always seemed to want to grab me. But that was so juvenile now. It wasn't the shadows that grabbed people, it as the people lurking in them. _

_And then it hit me. The question I should have asked from the beginning. How could I have forgotten?_

"Kevin?" _I called, turning again to look at him. He nodded to show that he was listening. _"What about Nick?"

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_KEVIN'S POV-BEFORE ABOVE_

It was absolutely astounding to me on how little security that place actually had. All it took for me to get in was to knock out a guard with a move Macy taught me, steal his uniform and walk right. It wasn't until I took the keys the alarm blared and I knew the unconscious guard had been found. I had to be quick. I waited for the dark concrete hallway that was lined with metal doors to clear before I ran over and unlocked Joe's. I only knew it was Joe's because the keys had a picture of the inhabitant along with the cell number. I took a deep breath, not knowing what state Joe would be in when I found him. But I couldn't dawdle. I _had _to get him out of here! I opened the door and tried to look as impressive, real, and intimidating as possible. I didn't want Joe to freak out if he saw me and get us both caught.

"Stand up!" I commanded and he did, shaking a little and stooping with the sloped ceiling. . "Come with me and no talking, or you _will _die." I wasn't kidding either. I grabbed his arm rather roughly and he winced but I forced myself to ignore the guilt. He hadn't lost a lot of muscle while he was here, so that was good. I pulled him outside and I was glad that he has enough sense to stay silent. I watched him look around the empty hall in confusion and then fear settled into his eyes. What was he thinking?

"Stop!" He jumped and I yanked him to a stop as another guard, a real one, walked towards us. Oh crap. "What are you doing with it?" It took all of my willpower to not punch this guys lights out for calling _my brother _an it. Joe shook slightly when the guy reached for his gun. Time for Plan B.

"It tried to escape. I am taking it to learn its lesson." I growled, adopting the same tone the guard in front of us had used. I hated myself for calling Joe and it. And I was glad Joe didn't speak out against my lie. In fact, he just accepted it like he was expecting it. I turned back to the guard and watched him gnash his in thought before nodding slowly.

"Make sure you kick it in the neck; that always worked before." He called after us. They kicked him in the neck? I took a deep breath to try and calm the anger pounding through my veins. Sure I knew a lot of what happened here, but I didn't know personal experiences. I didn't know what they did to Joe. I could only guess and have nightmares about it.

"Will do." I answered, pulling Joe along and readjusting the hat that did not want to stay on my curls. I should have let Stella straighten my hair. I glanced at Joe, knowing he couldn't see and I bit my tongue as I saw bruises on his neck and as I felt scars under my fingers.

I led him down an empty hall and smiled when I found the door I had used to come in, found courtesy of Frankie, was unguarded. I turned and was glad to see no one was following us. We may have a chance. I placed one hand on the false wall and smiled again as I felt the lock click undone from me pressing the right pattern on the bricks. Joe looked utterly lost. But then his mouth dropped open as the wall turned to reveal the outside world. He looked slightly impressed that this place had something like this. Joe always had wanted to go through a secret door like this one.

I tried to pull him to with me as I took a few steps, but he struggled against my hold. Why? And then it hit me when I saw the horror dawning ni his eyes. This place didn't need a high security because fear was their lock and chains. Fear kept everyone in and everyone unwanted out. They didn't need a fancy security system when they had fear. But I was _not _letting Joe stay here. He needed to come with me, and be safe, and together. Together we can heal and be a family again_. I_ _will not leave him here!_

"Come on!" I urgently whispered, but he would not go through this door. "I'm sorry Joe…" And I swallowed my hurt and guilt as I clapped my hands on both of his temples. I caught him as he went down, unconscious and I carried him to my car and wasted no time in putting him the back seat, taking off his bindings and leaving. And no one stopped me.

For the next two hours, I was taking detour after detour, glancing in my mirrors, paranoid we were being followed. They can't have Joe back. I won't let them! At a red light, I looked at my brother and bit my lip again as I saw the unhealthy glow to his skin, the grease in his usually so coveted hair, and the dark circles under his eyes. But it could have been worse. He could have been dead.

After a few minutes of more silent driving, Joe groaned and stirred, wincing as he felt the aftereffects of what I did to him. Sorry bro. I watched him pry open his eyes and look confused before he glared at me. But I was just relieved to see his eyes again, even if they were pained.

"You're awake…" I breathed out and Joe shifted a bit before blinking, like something was off. He raised his hands to his eyes and shock was written across his face. To him, no chains and the bandages I had stopped to put on him must seem so weird and probably, so wrong. But he looked happy…until he looked back at me. "I'm sorry I had to knock you out Joe." I whispered, unsure how I could show him I was his eldest brother without giving him a heart attack. He sat up very slowly and eyed me with fear and uncertainty while he tried to get a good look at me.

"W-who are you?" He croaked and my heart broke from the weakness in his voice. I sighed, not knowing how to answer this. "How long was I out?" His voice was still rough but I was pleased to hear more strength to it.

"Two hours." I answered curtly. "I've been driving ever since." I still wasn't sure what to say to him.

"Why?" I stiffened. Why? Why did I save him? Why would he ask this? "I am nothing, you should hate me, and you should want me to rot in that place." He whispered, actually believing it and all that was left of my heart shattered at those words. Joe…I would kill each and every one of those people for making him think this. I slammed on the brakes and pulled to the side of the road, breathing hard and shaking from the rage I felt at those monsters. I reached back and grabbed Joe's shoulder's firmly, making him look me in the eye, though he couldn't see mine. He flinched from the contact but I didn't let go.

"You are NOT nothing and you are NOT useless! I don't want you to rot in that place, which is why I am saving you! Like I promised to do three years ago!" I yelled at him, needing him to believe me and not caring I just told him who I was without actually saying it.

He starred at me for the longest time and I saw him trying to work out what I had just said. Saw his denial and want for it to really be me and I contemplated taking off my hat when he finally moved. He lifted his arms, shaking from something unknown and he grabbed the short rim of the hat. But he hesitated, like he was readying himself to be let down. And then he lifted it off and as soon as he saw my eyes, it fell from his hands and lay forgotten on the floor.

"K-Kevin?" He whispered, still unsure and I saw the tears forming in his wide eyes. And I felt the same way. My brother was back.

"Hi Joe." I whispered back, trying to be strong for him but I felt my eyes burning from the unshed tears. And I smiled, or at least, tried to.

"KEVIN!" He happily cried, launching himself at me and right into my arms. He held me tightly and I held him back. He would never go back there. He would never be alone again. Not while I was alive. I felt him shaking again and I was about to ask him why but he spoke first._. _"I-I'm s-so ha-happy you're h-here." He stuttered through his tears and I was glad Stella already forgave me fro any tear stains on my shirt. But I shouldn't have let Joe get taken. I shouldn't have taken three years to save him.

"I'm sorry I took so long Joe." He lifted his head and smiled at me, it actually reaching his red rimmed eyes.

"But you kept your promise and you're here now." He told me and I nodded but my heart was still screaming of guilt. Why hadn't I been sooner?

"Where are we going?"

I pursed my lips and checked the mirrors again. "Someplace safer than here."

It was silent for another minute or two and I was glad that Joe hadn't asked about Nick yet. How could I tell him?

"Kevin?" He called, turning again to look at me. I nodded to show him that I was listening. "What about Nick?"

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**Chibiyu: **_Joe and Kevin reunited! Will it last? Stick around to find out! Until Next Update!_


	6. Three Years Missed

**Chibiyu: **_You all must hate me for leaving you with that cliffhanger huh? _

**Nick: **_I like not knowing…less pain for the ignorant. _

**Chibiyu: **_No…only for you. _

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**It was silent for another minute or two and I was glad that Joe hadn't asked about Nick yet. How could I tell him?**

** "Kevin?" He called, turning again to look at me. I nodded to show him that I was listening. "What about Nick?" **

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_JOE'S POV_

I watched my older brother visibly tense and I came to fear the worse. Was Nick…no…he can't be. Kevin would tell me…wouldn't he? I opened my mouth to question him but he cut me off.

"Later Joe. When we get you to safety." I did not like the sound of that. "Joe, I know you are anxious to hear about this, but please trust me." Kevin begged and I instantly nodded at the tone of his voice. This was a tough subject for him. Which meant Nick was either hurt, dead, or still out there. But I can't press him, not now. He was right, it was better for me to be safe and freak out then be in danger of being killed by my kidnappers and freaking out. But what if Nick wanted to surprise me at wherever Kevin was taking me? No…if Kevin had gotten to Nick, he would be right here too. So then, where was he?

"What about Stella, Macy, and Frankie?" I asked, afraid of the answer but to my relief, Kevin smiled.

"They are all safe and they are helping me right now. Stella found you, Macy taught me how to protect myself, and Frankie did wonders with finding the blue prints." Kevin laughed at something I didn't get before shaking his head. "We make quite a team…but we are still so slow."

"Kevin!" I called, gripping his arm again. "You are here now, that is all that matters. _I don't care _how long you took! You kept your promise and that is all that matters." I knew he wouldn't believe me until Nick was safe. Because judging from his refusal to answer, he wasn't. But I also knew that with Stella, Macy, Frankie, Kevin and I on the case, Nick soon would be home. After all, no one keeps the Lucas brothers apart. No one. "Hey Kev?" I called and he looked over to me and nodded before turning his attention back tot the road. "It will be ok. We will find him."

I watched Kevin grip the steering wheel with suck force that I was both surprised and impressed that it didn't break. "You don't hate me for not finding him?" He whispered and I reached over again and gripped his arm.

"I don't hate you Kev. I could never hate you." I comforted and he nodded but there was still something behind his eyes. "And I am sure Nick won't either. We all know the security of these places. We all know what it takes to even _find _them." I gently told him and again, I earned another nod. "Trust me Kev, Nick will understand."

Kevin's lip quivered, like he was holding something back. But from the looks of things, he couldn't hold it back indefinitely. "What if he's dead?"

I sighed, having thought the same thing, but we needed to keep faith and keep hoping. "If he is, then we have each other and we help each other get through it." Kevin stopped at a red light and I forced him to look me in the eye. "But that will never happen because Nick isn't dead."

Kevin shook his head, glancing to see if the light changed. "But he was the weakest out of all of us, even if he tried to hide that. And Joe…with his diabetes…"

I slapped the back of Kevin's head, hard. "He's not dead Kevin. Get that through your head. Now drive. The sooner we get to where we are going, the sooner we can find our brother." And then another thought crossed my mind as Kevin stepped on the gas pedal again. "Hey…what about our parents?"

Kevin tensed again and bit his lip. "Joe…"

"Oh God…" I whispered, putting my head in my hands. "They killed them…didn't they?"

"I'm sorry Joe…" I felt Kevin grip my shoulder but I brushed off his hand. Thanks to these people, we were orphans. Thanks to these people, we were all changed and broken beyond repair. Thanks to these people, our family was split up and there was no hope of sewing it all back together.

"Fuck them all." Dark curses flew from my mouth as tears streamed from my eyes. And for once, I was glad Kevin didn't snap at me for using such language. Right now, I had no other words for these bastards. They destroyed us. They caused Kevin to lose his funny and easy going side. They forced Nick into doing who knows what in God knows where. And they forced me to feel this heart wrenching pain. This undeniable feeling that my soul was shattering into oblivion. This feeling that I was no longer Joe Lucas, but a shell impersonating him. And I hated it. I hated them.

And then I remembered the last time I saw my mom and dad, both of them waving from the car, my mom crying through her smile, as we walked into the airport to fly to LA for the summer. And then watching them drive off, because Nick had said if we didn't, mom would jump out of the moving car and hold us down, begging us not to go. And he was probably right about that. But now, I wish we would have turned our backs. Coming here was the worst mistake we've ever made. If we hadn't come, then maybe we would still be a family. Maybe we would still all be together and safe and happy. But you can't change the past. And I can't bring them back.

But to say I am surprised by this fact, as terrible as it sounds, is a lie. After the first month of starring at that cursed ceiling with blood words, I began to think why no one had came for me. And then it hit me with two answers; they didn't care about me, or they were dead. And I _instantly _knew it was the second one. Mom and Dad loved us more than anything and once they heard of us getting kidnapped, they would have stopped at nothing to get us home. So I felt the pain that night and I cried, writing my own phrase onto the ceiling: _God, save us all. _It still hurt now, though. The confirmation of it all. Before, it was all guessing. Now it was real and I experienced the hurt again. Yes, it was less, but it was still there. It would always be there. No amount of Kevin hugs and Nick hugs and Stella hugs and Macy hugs and Frankie hugs could fix that.

Oh God…they took our parents from Frankie, who was too young to feel this kind of pain. And for that, I would kill them. Nick might be the next youngest, but he was 20 now…20? How much have I missed in three years? I missed so much…and these people better go to hell for it.

"Umm Joe?" I jumped, Kevin startling me out of my somewhat morbid thoughts. "We're here." I looked over and saw a cheap looking hotel but to me, it was paradise. "It's nicer on the inside and under the radar. We should be safe here for a few days." And for a few days, I would take it. It's been so long since I slept on an honest to goodness bed and have eaten real food. And I was dying to see the others. I nodded to Kevin, suddenly nervous as I thought of them waiting for us. I knew I looked horrible, and I knew Stella would purse her lips at that, but would they be afraid? Afraid that I have changed from my experiences, which I have, but how would they react?

Kevin got out of the car and walked around to my side, opening the door and undoing my seat belt. He wasted no tie in pulling me out of the vehicle and running over to a door on the ground floor. He knocked in some sort of pattern before inserting the car key and walking in. Knowing it was more dangerous out here, than it was in there; I gulped, took a deep breath, and walked in.

"Oh my God, you got him." A girl whispered as Kevin shut and locked the door behind me. I raised my gaze to look at Macy, her face exactly the same, except for the worry inscribed in her brow. It took me a minute to realize that that was not permanent. "Stella…he got Joe." The blond next to her was smiling widely, not even caring for the state of my clothes.

"Hi Joe." She whispered and Kevin walked into another room, presumably getting Frankie.

"Hi Stella. Hi Macy." I whispered, smiling in pure relief that they were here, they were ok. I mean, Kevin did tell me, but I guess I needed to see it with my own eyes before I fully believed it. I walked over to them and sat beside them, suddenly fearful of touching them. But then again, it was a justified fear.

"Joe!" I turned and saw a mop of light brown hair racing towards me and suddenly arms were around my torso. There was no hiding my flinch and Frankie instantly pulled away. "Sorry." I forced down the bile in my throat and nodded, trying to smile. But when I saw how much more mature he looked, all I could do was gape.

"Frankie?" I asked, taking in his height, his longer and darker hair and…wow. Everything was different, even his voice was cracking and a bit deeper. I can't believe this…I missed so much in three years.

"Hey bro." He whispered, smiling sadly down at me. He was probably worried at my flinch, left to guess why the action happened. But he was only 14. I wasn't going to tell him, not first at least. In fact, I wasn't going to tell anyone. They didn't need to know. It was my past, so therefore, my burden. And if I told them…they would surely hate me.

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**Chibiyu: **_I am so tired and I just don't know what to write. Sorry guys. Until Next Update._


	7. Freckles

**Chibiyu: **_I don't know what to say. _

**Nick: **_I do. _

**Chibiyu: **_Well you are MIA so you can't say anything. _

_DON'T OWN JONAS_

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** "Hey bro." He whispered, smiling sadly down at me. He was probably worried at my flinch, left to guess why the action happened. But he was only 14. I wasn't going to tell him, not first at least. In fact, I wasn't going to tell anyone. They didn't need to know. It was my past, so therefore, my burden. And if I told them…they would surely hate me. **

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_STELLA'S POV_

It hurt so much to see Kevin walk in, smiling sadly at us as Joe walked out from behind him. At first, I didn't even recognize him. Everything about him had changed. The goofy grin on his face looked as if it had never one been there. There were bags under his eyes and shadows under his jaw and nose. There was no sparkle in his eyes. In fact, they seemed dead, void of any life, any emotion, and any soul. It was like this Joe was just a shell of our Joe. Like our Joe ceased to exist.

But I hid my true heart break and my hate towards the people that did this to him. For three years…isn't that over kill? And they didn't even ask for ransom, so only Joe knows what they did to him. And I don't think Joe would be ready to share anytime soon. And then he flinched when Frankie hugged him. To say that made me angry was a complete understatement. I was downright, blood boiling, limb shaking, furious. They touched my Joe. They hurt him. They could have done so much more. But _no one _touches my Joe. I was going to kill them.

"Hey Joe," I called and he looked at and tried to smile but nothing happened to his eyes. "Why don't you take a shower? Kevin has some clothes for you sweetie." Joe nodded and Kevin stood and led him to the bedroom and the shower. I waited for the shower to turn on and for Kevin to come back before I exploded in a fury of heated whispers.

"How dare they touch Joe!" I spat out flames and Macy seemed to be thinking along the same lines. Her face was pale and I have never seen that amount of fire in her eyes. "I am going to make sure they hate every last breath they take! Because death is _way _too good for those Bastards." I got into the habit of swearing since Joe was gone. I was just so angry at the world for taking him from me that I had no other words to express my anger and need and sorrow. Even Kevin swore now.

"I wonder what happened to him?" Macy whispered, and we stayed silent, left to guess in our thoughts. "And I thought what happened to you Kevin, was bad."

Kevin nodded, not speaking out.

"Are you ok?" I whispered, taking his hand and Kevin shook his head.

"I am so freaking mad." He muttered and we all nodded. "What about you Frankie? You've been quiet."

Frankie looked over to us and sighed. "I was just thinking…if Joe is like this…what are they doing to Nick?" He looked over to the closed door. "Will we ever get Joe back to normal? Will he ever talk to us?" He shook his head, letting us see the fear and sorrow in his orbs. "I'm just worried…and scared."

"Who isn't Frankie?" Macy voiced, walking over to the boy and hugging him. "But don't worry. Once we get Joe to safety, he will be on the fast track to recovery. Joe is strong."

I nodded. "And stubborn. We all know that Joe won't stop when he is dedicated to something. And we _all _know that Joe is dedicated to himself."

"He will be fine Frankie." Kevin confirmed and he stood and went into the kitchen. Macy walked over and helped him make a late dinner for all of us. Frankie walked over and sat next to me.

"Do you still love him?" He whispered into my ear and I looked down to my clasped hands.

"I never stopped."

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_JOE'S POV_

When I stepped out of the shower, I felt better, but still broken. I dressed and quickly collapsed on the bed. An hour ago, when I was talking about Nick…I didn't mean it. Kevin was on the verge of crying and panicking and he needed to hear those words. And I said them, but I didn't believe them. It was all just false hope. As soon as they found out I had escaped, Nick would be killed or moved. We had no hope of finding him. No hope of saving him. So does that mean its time to save ourselves? Does that mean we should give up on Nick? As wrong as that sounds…it's logical.

After Kevin saved me, my kidnappers would contact Nick's and who knows what will happen to him. I can't believe I am going to say this, but after three years, Kevin was right. What if Nick was dead? These people wouldn't care about his diabetes or taking care of him. Should I have told Kevin straight out my doubts? Or was I right to lie to him? To give him false hope?

"Joe?" Kevin called and he opened to door, instantly sitting by my side. "What's wrong?"

It was better to tell him the truth. "I lied Kevin."

"About what?" He sounded scared, like he feared I was suddenly going to turn on him. But in a way, I guess I was.

I sighed and clasped my hands, looking anywhere but to my older brother. "I don't think Nick's alive. I lied to you." Kevin stiffened, and I felt his gaze desperately trying to find the lie in mine. "Its wishful thinking…I was trapped long enough to know that they _wouldn't care _about keeping him alive…I should have picked him."

"Joe." I jumped, startled enough by Kevin's firm tone to meet his gaze. "It's not your fault. If Nick is gone, then he would have lasted longer than Stella. At least he had a chance to live. Stella wouldn't have. It's not your fault." I felt Kevin's arms encircle me and I winced, feeling everyone else's hands were his were, but I needed this. My desperate longing for comfort overcame my disgust and fear. But this hug wasn't enough. The uncertainty, the guilt, it overrode everything good. If Nick was dead, it was all my fault.

"Joe? Kevin?" We looked up to see Stella at the door, looking at us, something in her eyes I can't place. "We have a lead."

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_FRANKIE'S POV-MOMENTS BEFORE_

_ I opened my computer, needing to find the last link to this family. I knew, deep down, that Joe and Kevin both wouldn't be able to heal until we found our last brother, dead or alive. And we all hoped, wished, and prayed that he was alive. If he wasn't…I feared Joe would be lost forever. And I knew Kevin wasn't even close to being healed. They needed Nick. They needed to know. And maybe another search would give my results. _

_I opened the special program the police had given us when we split from them and took up our own search. It scanned the area within a fifty mile radius and showed me any and all cars and events. So far it had been useless in finding Nick, but it did find the exact van that first took my brothers from me. And that led us directly to Joe. So maybe, if I prayed harder enough, it could lead us to our missing link. I clicked the green button and crossed all of my fingers and screwed up eyes shut, praying hard for results. Twenty-three seconds later, my computer _pinged _and I opened my eyes, rapidly scrolling over the screen as dots appeared. _

_First I scanned over any cars close to us and I sighed in relief when none of them seemed hostile. So they hadn't found us yet. Then I scrolled over the two events happening in the scan radius, both on the edge of the map, but both popular. One was a hotel where rock stars were rumored to stay and it was supposedly haunted. I scanned its site, but nothing about it made me suspicious. _

_The next was a car race. Interested, as I was a teenage boy, I clicked on the site but was bombarded with security passwords. Ok…I didn't except to need to hack…this could be something good. Five minutes later, I was in. _

_ It was off map, open to public, free access but participants are encouraged to make bets. The winner of the bet will get something big, more than money. I wonder what that thing was. I scrolled down the site and read about the tight security and then a warning caught my eye. It said that this show is not for younger kids. Again, I wondered why. Maybe the pictures on the website will tell me. I clicked on the subpage and looked closely at the pictures of racers. _

_All of them were dressed in the same clothes; black tight leather pants and a skin tight white shirt. And they all wore large sunglasses. In every picture, the racer was leaning against their cars, some of which looked seriously powerful and fast. But then I got towards the bottom of the page and I bit my lip to stop the scream. Cars where flipped over, on fire, destroyed completely, and the winner didn't seem to care that their opponent was caught in that mess. So that was why kids were warned. The loser…oh god. _

_I scrolled all the way down, forcing myself to look at all the pictures. At the very bottom, there was a link surrounded my trophies. The button said "Top Racer." Instantly feeling curious again, I clicked on the link, wondering how these guys did it. There was one picture of a guy who was sitting on the hood of an old black mustang, surrounded by gold trophies. The guy himself wore the same clothes, but had on a black leather jacket and what looked like a spiked collar around his neck, but it was hard to tell in this picture. He wasn't looking directly at the camera; his head was turned to the side, facing the race track. His long black hair looking rather unkempt and unclean. Overall, he didn't look nice. But then again, none of the racers did. _

_I looked closer at the picture, trying to read the fans signs in the crown, but something on the guys face caught my eyes. Freckles. _

"Oh my gosh…" _I jumped, turning to face Stella, but she was gone, headed towards Joe and Kevin's room before I could say anything to her. I turned back to the picture traced the freckles with my finger. Were freckles enough? Was it too quick to think that this person was Nick?_

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**Chibiyu: **_I am really bored and mad and I killed Nick 13 times total yesterday, and I killed Joe and Kevin 5 times, Frankie 3 times….yeah I was mad. But don't worry, I deleted all of those killings. :~) Oh and next chapter, I will offer hints as to what Kevin went through. Until Next Update!_


	8. Changes

**Chibiyu: **_This chapter will have a plot twist that I have never done before. Hope you like it. _

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**"Oh my gosh…" _I jumped, turning to face Stella, but she was gone, headed towards Joe and Kevin's room before I could say anything to her. I turned back to the picture traced the freckles with my finger. Were freckles enough? Was it too quick to think that this person was Nick?_**

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_KEVIN'S POV_

_ A lead? I jumped up, Joe coming up with me and we raced to the door. Stella led us all to the computer that Frankie was sitting at and pointed to a picture. _

"Is that, or is that not Nick?" Stella whispered, pointing at the scruffy guy in the pictures. We both leaned in closer and it took us a moment to figure out the connection. Freckles. But really, what are the odds that freckles can make us 100 percent sure that this happens to be our lost brother?

"I don't know…" I whispered but both Stella and Joe had something in there eyes, something I haven't seen in forever; determination.

"It's a lead Kev. We are not going to let this pass us by." I jumped, turning to see Joe, with a fire in his eyes that I never thought I would see again after I saved him from that hell hole. "If Nick is suffering half of what I did, then he will need us." He whispered, pain flooding back into his voice as we watched memories flash in his shattered orbs. I nodded. I couldn't deny Joe this. It would kill him if we didn't take up every single lead on Nick, and Joe is already so close to being dead.

"Macy, get us in there." She nodded and pushed Stella and Frankie off the computer, instantly finding the address, printing directions, and then going onto the ticket buying section of the site.

"How many?"

"Three. Joe, Kevin and Macy are going." Stella told us, not giving me a chance to answer. "Frankie and I will pack up here. If this is Nick, we will need to get farther away. And if it isn't, Joe's captors are still on out tail. We can't stay here another day."

"There is a race tonight." Macy announced, ordering and buying tickets with our secure and one of our numerous credit cards. We never used one card for long, knowing the account could be traced by one of our kidnappers.

"Here's the plan." I gestured and pushed everyone to the sitting area and I stood behind the couch as Joe and Frankie sat in front of me, Stella and Macy occupying the couch facing us. "We all know the danger," I paused, taking a moment to scratch under my eye and I felt the lump of the scar marking my latest run in with all the false leads we had on Joe. "So we all have to be careful. Macy, before you go, teach Joe some defensive moves." I waited for each of them to nod.

"Ok, when we get there, we watch the race, making sure t keep an eye out for where they come into the track and where they leave."

"And for Nick." Frankie inserted and we all nodded.

"And for Nick." I agreed.

"After the race, Macy, you will be our look out as Joe and I scout around the area and try and find anything or anyone who can lead us to Nick. If we are lucky," which we rarely were, "We find him before anyone finds us." I looked to Stella, who was writing all of this down, to Macy who was cracking her fingers, nerves waltzing in her eyes, to Frankie who was already scanning the room, thinking of the fastest way to pick up this mess, and then to Joe, who was looking at his hands, sheer determination on his face.

"If we find him, we don't reason with him, we take and run. Macy will be in the front with me, Joe will be in back with Nick. Understood?" They all nodded but Frankie seemed to be thinking something different. He didn't speak up though, so it must have not been important. "Ok, I will think of more with Stella while Joe and Macy go do there thing. Frankster, start looking out for anyone who may working for the people who took Joe."

I watched them, feeling very proud as they all stood up and followed my orders without question. But I didn't like the leader role. I wasn't a leader. I wished I could just be who I was before I got taken. Before I was put through three months of Hell. But if three months were that bad, I can't imagine what happened to Joe, and what was happening to Nick. I don't think I can handle knowing what they went through either. I was their older brother, I was supposed to protect them from these kinds of things, and yet, I got away before they did. I let them suffer for longer than they ever should have. I know I am doing all I can for them, but it never feels like it is enough. I never feel like I am winning or like I am a hero. Because I am not enough for them. I can't save them like they want me too. I am only one person.

"Kevin?" I jumped and forced a smile as I looked over to Stella. "Are you ok?"

"Fine. Let's perfect this plan."

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JOE'S POV

Why was Kevin letting me go?

"Because he knows you need too." Macy replied, reading the question right off my face. She always could do that to me. She turned and faced me, a smile on her face. "It's good to have you back Joe." She whispered and I nodded, feeling the same way. But I knew that I wasn't all back. Parts of me were still trapped in that cell, screaming, bleeding, sobbing and breaking. Parts of me just couldn't let go. "Alright Joe, I will go easy on you, but I won't be patient. We don't have a lot of time and you _need to know _these things. Ready?"

…,…,…,**_Time Skip._**

Finally, after three and a half hours, I was able to properly defend myself against Macy. She seemed pleased with me and was nothing but smiles as we rejoined the group, both of us having taken another shower. But all the while that we were practicing, memories kept flashing up as Macy's foot or fist came towards me. And it took all my willpower to not scream and cringe away. I had to keep reminding myself that this was for my brother, but even that did stem the never ending flow of bitter memories, of harsh regret, and of demoralizing fear.

"Joe, Macy, perfect timing. We have to go." Kevin told us, throwing me a jacket. Macy hugged Stella and Kevin ruffled Frankie's hair before going. I followed him out and we ran to the car, starting it instantly. Now that we were on our way, everything seemed to rush back to me. All of the fear, the confusion, the eagerness, the determination, and of course, the waiting for rejection. I knew that this may not be my brother, but that didn't mean that I couldn't hope. I hadn't seen him in years and I was so ready to finally tie up some loose ends. Whether the ends led us to Nick, or his grave, I needed to know.

I watched the scenery turn from dark to sunrise and I watched the green fade into dirt. We all sat in silence, absorbed in our own thoughts and running through the new and improved plan, which Kevin had just told us. It was simple enough but complicated at the same time. I only hoped it would work.

"There it is." I announced, pointing to an old and run down racetrack. Kevin nodded and pulled in. I reached under my seat and put on my fake mustache, glasses, and hat and bald cap. Macy rolled her eyes as she put on her bald cap and adorned a bubblegum pink wig and overly large glasses. Kevin laughed at appearance before putting on a blonde wig, glasses, and suspenders. I have to announce this.

"We look funny." I told everyone and they agreed, piling out of the car. But I knew it was necessary. Anyone here could be looking for us. Macy handed to guy our tickets and he smiled at her.

"Bets?" Macy smiled and whispered something into the guy's ear. He blushed and pushed us inside. As soon as we were out of the guy's sight, Macy went red and gagged. I don't think I want to know what she told the guard. We got our seats, which were perfect to view, but not to be seen and I took in the out of place nicely paved racetrack and the surprisingly expensive bleachers. I guess this place was designed to look like a dump on the outside, so no one would come exploring, and so the paying costumers would be luxury. Smart.

Macy pointed to a garage door, which had opened to reveal two racers, driving slowly up to the finish line. We nodded. I looked over to al of the people and suddenly, I felt over dressed. All of the girls here wore see through tops or only their bra's or very revealing clothing. The men looked insane, sporting homemade shirts of whoever they bet on or they were shirtless. Everyone's hair was spiked or dyed and Macy seemed to blend in more than Kevin or me. Everyone was shouting at each other, the whole arena in chaos, and it was a common sight for a fight to break out.

"Ladies, Gentleman, Various other life forms," The announcer began, his voice booming over the excited crowd. "I give you the night of a lifetime! Today, up first, there are two racers, both who have the two penalties against them, racing to stay alive. The loser will go up in flames!" Everyone cheered at that statement, the three of us looking around nervously.

"Today we will see everything from fire to wins, to first time loses to first time wins! Tonight is as unpredictable as it gets!" The announcer seemed to be getting more and more excited as he spoke. "On the track we have Larry the King, or as we call him, Larry the Loser!" The stadium filled with boos' and mixed cheers as the guy put his fist put of his hideous orange convertible.

"And his challenger, you all know his name and I think you all hate it too, Stanly Manfield!"

"Girlfield, Girlfield!" The crowd took up the chant as the other guy stuck his fist from his silver Jaguar. Macy scooted closer to us, obviously not liking all of this beer throwing and hype going around in the seats surrounding us. And truth be told, I didn't either.

"Racer's, START YOUR ENGINES!" The sound of engine's revving up filled the stadium.

"ON YOUR MARK!" The announcer yelled, the crowd suddenly hushing.

"GET SET!"

"Don't' Go." We all jumped at the new voice. "I have a challenge for the two asshole losers." A guy, dressed in a skin tight white shirt and too tight black leather pants, a leather jacket, and a spiked collar around his neck. Nick. His voice was rougher, but there wasn't a single doubt in my mind that this was my brother. I nudged Kevin and he nodded. Macy was holding her heart, her face unreadable.

"Bad boy Nick is hot." She whispered, smiling and blushing as I poked her. "I said that out loud didn't I?" I nodded and she ducked her head, her face resembling a tomato.

"Loser, Girlfield, I have a little bet of my own." Nick stated, calmly strutting over to the two cars. The drivers both stuck their heads out of the window, revealing a mess of red curls and greasy brown hair. "You want to hear it, or should I walk away now?" They didn't answer as Nick held out his mike to both of them. "I challenge both you to a race. If, by some miracle, one of you wins, you both get knocked down to zero penalties and given a fresh start. And you get the glory of beating me…the undefeated champion."

"But if I win, you both burn with your career." He hissed ad the two visibly shuddered and the crowd erupted in fits of joy. "So, what do say?"

"Two against one? We can beat him!" Larry stole Nick's mike and shouted but the crowd didn't agree.

"Yeah man," Mansfield responded. "Let's beat the Lucas the Great to the ground." _Lucas the Great? _

Nick's smirk was visible even from here. He snapped his fingers and a bunch of almost topless girls rolled out his car. "Before I win, let's see who the crowd favorite it tonight." He held his reclaimed microphone to the sky and the crowd dutifully started chanting.

"LUCAS! LUCAS! LUCAS!"

"Excellent." Nick threw the mike to one of the woman who had pushed out his car before getting it and driving to the starting line. Macy buried her head into my shoulder, not able to watch. The announcer counted down and then they were off, all of them tied in a line. But why did I get the feeling that Nick wanted that? They went like this until the very last turn, and that's when I noticed something, both of Nick's opponents had separated a bit, giving them a few feet in between my brother and them.

"They are going to ram him." Kevin yelled, the crowd happily screaming from Kevin's outburst. And as he predicted, both cars, swerved, right towards Nick and for a moment, smoke was all we could see. And then a sickening crash and screams and metal crunching reached our ears. And the squeak of brakes overpowering everything else. The smoke cleared as the wind blew again and everyone stood, trying to see what had happened. Two cars one orange and one silver were smashed together, both of the drivers stuck inside. But there was no black mustang…

"LUCAS WINS!" Everyone turned to see Nick sitting on the top of his car, looking uncaringly at the accident. We all looked back to the smashed cars and suddenly understood how he did it. There were brake skid marks feet before the smashed cars and tire marks in the grass to the side of it. Was that even allowed? "Now, to set fire to the losers."

We heard them screaming inside the metal deathtraps, begging for their lives. Nick jumped off the hood of his car, allowing it to be rolled away. He shook his head, disgusted at the two before following his car off the track. We stood to follow him, but a blood curdling scream stopped us in mid step. Searing heat suddenly exploded against our skin no one made a sound as we listened to crackling and sobbing. We didn't dare look. When they said set fire…they had meant it. My stomach churned and I found myself running from the bleachers, needing to get away. And I wasn't the only one. I didn't care if Kevin and Macy were following me; I just needed to get away from this madness. Or else I would be worse than sick.

"Joe!" Kevin yelled and I felt him grab me and yank me to a stop. "Look to your right." I looked and the urge to vomit was gone. I had run right to where I was supposed to. A tall wooden fence ran down out left side, and various old buildings and garages dotted the background. But the most interesting thing was the view fifty feet in front of us. Kevin and I walked over to the black mustang, more accurately, to the guy on the hood, an unlit cigarette clutched in his fingers. We watched him throw it over the tall wooden fence, a disgusted look on his face. But he still hadn't seen us.

"Hey Lucas, have a minute for two of your biggest fans?" Kevin called and we watched him close his eyes and his fists curl tightly.

"No, so leave I am _not _signing anything or taking pictures or even taking time to look at you. Now fuck off. Now." Well that was rude.

"Well, how about a minute for us then, Nick?" He stiffened and we stopped, a foot from him. It looked like he was forcing himself not to look.

"What did you call me?" He whispered, fear and relief and joy, flooding into his small voice.

"Nicholas Jerry Lucas, I thought we taught you better. You know we hate swearing." Kevin jokingly scolded, his voice cracking from happiness. Nick slowly looked up, his eyes connecting with mine and then Kevin's. His eyes seemed to sing with longing and happiness as he looked at us, but it was like something was holding him back, keeping him from throwing himself into our arms.

"Joe…Kevin…" He seemed to be at loss for words. "No…you can't be here!" He suddenly stood, looking with at us with the same joy and fear mix. His hands went to his ink dyed and straightened hair, nothing more or less than stress on his face now. "No…" He whispered, glancing over his shoulder. "Go, now, before they see you!" He urged, the longing come back into his face as he thought of us leaving him. "Please…"

I glanced to Kevin, who nodded, agreeing with his own idea. We take Nick and run, questions can wait until later. We both lunged out and grasped Nick's arms, pulling him off the hood of the car. But we were surprised when he started to fight back. And even more so when he started to win.

"Nick, calm down!" Kevin begged, whispering as Nick managed to free his arm from my hold. "We are trying to help you!"

"Then leave!" Nick whispered, again looking over his shoulder. "I can't go with you! I _won't _go with you!" I watched Kevin freeze at those words and I myself felt too shocked to even think about grabbing Nick and carrying him to safety.

"Why?" I asked and Nick tore his arm from Kevin's hand, tears in his eyes. He only shook his head.

"I just can't." He looked at me, pleading with me to leave him alone. But I couldn't.

"Nick, please tell us." Kevin gently put his hand on Nick's shoulder but he brushed it off as he swallowed down his tears.

"No." We watched Nick take two steps back, walking backwards around the car. "I won't."

"Why you won't you tell us? What is stopping you?" I asked, walking towards him. He stopped, looking over his shoulder to the building behind him. I followed his eyes and observed the door, the gray paint flaking off of it. He looked back to me and crossed his arms. For some reason, he was glaring.

"What's stopping me?" He laughed coldly at something Kevin and I didn't know. "If I tell you, everything that has kept me alive these past years, will vanish." He switched his glare over to Kevin. "Poof. Gone, just like that. Taken away from me, very much like you two were. Only this time, that thing won't survive like you did. And I won't either." I was surprised by the chilling, protective, and menacing hiss that was his voice. It was like he was _daring _us to try and take that thing away from him, so he could show us that me meant business. But what was that thing?

"What are you talking about?" Kevin asked, looking over to where Macy was standing guard. Nick followed his gaze and his face darkened.

"Get out of here. Now." He ordered but we didn't move. "Or so God help me, I will scream until all of the racers, all of judges, and all of my bosses are out here, with their guns trailed on you, forcing you to run out of here, without me." He was serious…

"What happened to you Nick? In the past, we used to be brothers, we used to care!" I loudly whispered, fear, worry, and anxiety all crowding into my voice.

"Let go off the past Joe! It's never going to be like it was back then. Times change. People change. I'm not the brother you remember…I don't want to be that brother."

Kevin stepped forward, stopping the oncoming fight before it blew up in our faces. "The past makes us who we are Nick. Like it or not, you are still that kid who loves music. You are still our little brother."

"No. I'm not Kevin. I am so much less of what I used to be that I don't even recognize myself anymore." He looked back over to the door. "This place changed me more than you can ever imagine. And even now that I have the choice to leave, I won't. I can't." He turned back to us, trying to hide the pure want and need, but even he couldn't cover that much emotion. "I want to so badly, but I can't."

"Yes you can!" Kevin almost screamed ignoring the shushing noises Nick was making. "No one is stopping you!"

"There is someone stopping me, Kevin." He told us sounding both broken and angry.

"Who?" Kevin retorted, not believing it.

Nick's mouth opened, fire and tears mixing into the perfect storm in his eyes, but he was cut off by the squeaking of the door behind him. He instantly looked back and we heard his breath get caught in his throat when a very young girl, maybe two years old, stepped out and looked at us in confusion.

"What's going on, Daddy?"

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**Chibiyu: **_Told you. So tired…Until Next Update!_


	9. Shocking Truth

**Chibiyu: **_Uh Ash? When have I been known to EVER save a life? _

**Nick: **_…I can answer that. Never. _

**Chibiyu: **_Almost never anyway haha. So basically you all want to know who the mom is and how it happened? It will be answered this chapter! Maybe…possibly. :~)_

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**"What's going on, Daddy?"**

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_KEVIN'S POV_

Daddy…? Nick? What?

We both watched with shocked expressions as the girl, whose eyes were exactly like our brothers and whose hair had soft, lighter brown curls, walked over and clung to Nick's leg, hiding behind him as she regarded us. And her stare…it was exactly the same as our Nick's. As I looked at her, her gaze reached mine and her eyes narrowed, intelligence sparkling through.

"Daddy, who are they?" She asked, not sounding like a two year old at all.

"No one." Nick curtly answered, as if warning us to stay silent. "Go back inside and let me handle this babe." But the girl shook her head.

"Can't. They want me to come back in with you, or to not come back at all." She explained, switching her gaze to Joe. Nick clenched his eyes closed, one hand going to his daughter's head and the other to the bridge of his nose.

"This is not happening…" He growled before glaring at us. "You three need to go." He told us, sounding very serious.

"Daddy?" The girl asked and Nick looked down at her and forced a smile. "What's going on?"

"Carter…" He knelt down to her height and took her hands. "You remember the names you asked about a few weeks ago? The ones you heard daddy whisper?"

The girl, Carter, nodded, her eyes searching Nick's. "Joe and Kevin." Nick nodded. "But you said they were no one and that they were better off to be forgotten."

Much to our horror, Nick nodded, his face holding no regret that he had said that to his daughter. "These men here are Joe and Kevin."

"Are you brothers?" Carter suddenly asked and Nick laughed humorlessly before nodding. "Nothing gets by me Daddy." She whispered, smiling at her father, looking rather proud of herself. "After all, I did inherit your brains…and more." Nick rolled his eyes before standing to face us.

"And that can be a problem sometimes little princess." He scoffed, jokingly as he smiled, for real this time, at the girl. He looked very proud of the girl and at the same time, it looked like he was wishing she never came outside. She gripped his hands and starred at us in wonder. I could see a question on her lips but she refrained from speaking.

"Nick…you…you're a dad?" Joe spit out and Nick nodded, starring him right in the eye, daring him to laugh or berate him. "How?"

Nick looked us all in the eyes, looking like he was searching fro something my gaze. And when he looked down to his daughter, I knew he had found it. "I was seventeen; it was three months after we were separated. You two should know what happened to me, seeing as you both endured it." He starred into our eyes again before shaking his head. "It's easy to see the scars once you yourself have suffered from them."

I looked to Joe, feeling nothing but confusion. I feel like the answer should be obvious, but it wasn't to me. Joe didn't look when he felt my gaze. He was only starring at the little girl, something unreadable running across his face. Was it loss, envy, worry, all three, or none of those that dotted his eyes as he starred at the young girl? Nick looked behind him to the door again, impatience in his eyes when he turned back to us.

"I was raped." He bluntly stated, Carter not even looking questioning as her dad said the word. "So were both of you. Except I actually got a girl pregnant and she was killed as soon as Carter was born."

"They killed my mommy and not me." Carter sadly told the ground. "To use as bait for Daddy."

"How did you know that?" Nick exclaimed quietly, fear overcoming his once sorrow filled voice.

"I hear things Daddy. Things I know I am not supposed too. But I do." Nick closed his eyes and pushed his daughter back to the door.

"Tell them I will be in there in less than three minutes." She nodded but turned back to us as her hand rested on the doorknob that rested a foot above her head. "Why didn't you come sooner? Daddy was waiting for you, but you never came." And then she was gone. My heart shattered beyond repair at those words. So I had been too long. I had let my brothers down.

Nick looked back to us, tears filling his eyes as he stepped towards us, resting a hand on the hood of his mustang. He chose to ignore his daughter's last statement as he continued speaking. "Now you know why I can't leave." He paused and saw Joe's answer. TO take them both and run. But Nick shook his head, anger flaring in his eyes. But it wasn't directed towards us. "Carter has fucking tracker in her neck because they know I will never leave without her! The tracker can't be taken out without killing her either! So I'm stuck here." I have never heard my brother sound so defeated and so lost.

"Nick…" I called, reaching out an arm to him and my brother looked like he wanted nothing more than to throw himself into my arms. But he didn't. In fact, he took a single step back, the look of want never leaving his eyes.

"No Kevin…you have to leave and be free. I'm already damned." He took another step back and reached behind him, grasping the doorknob. "Go guys…I'm sorry, but I can't go with you." Joe took one step to Nick, longing in his eyes and Nick let a single tear slide down his face before wiping it away and taking a deep breath. "I love you both, but I can't."

"LUCAS!" A voice yelled from the door and we all jumped, Nick paling a little.

"FUCK IT, I'M COMING!" He yelled back, putting on his mask again. But he turned to us one last time, and then he was gone. Just like the last time, I let my little brother fall through my fingers like sand. Only this was the last time I would ever get to see him. I grabbed Joe's arm and pulled him back, wanting nothing more than to lead both of us through that door and pull Nick to safety with us. But he was right. He can't leave his daughter…so he chose to leave us.

"Macy…come on. We are leaving."

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NICK'S POV

_You had to do this Nick. You had to let them go. If you would have left with them, what would they have done with Carter? I hugged my beautiful baby girl closer as we sat in the closet that was our bedroom. She was curled up in my lap, fitting there perfectly as she cried, feeling my pain just as I always felt hers. I let my tears fall but I didn't let one word of lost longing leave my lips or one shudder overtake me. I had to get passed this. Carter didn't need to know how much I wished I could go with them. _

"They came for you Daddy, after all this time, they still came." _Carter whispered, her voice chocked by the tears. I nodded and kissed the top of her head. _

"And they are never coming back." _My voice broke as I realized my words were true. I felt Carter shift until she was hugging me as much as her two and a half year old arms could hug me. I knew what she was thinking. She was glad I chose her but sad that I had to say goodbye to the last bit of family that I had left. And even if I had to do this again, I would make the same choice. I can't leave my baby. She may be a prodigy but even she won't be able to survive here. Because with me gone, there is no reason for her to be alive. _

"Daddy?" _I looked down at her and smiled at how similar her eyes were to mine. _"If you would have left…would I have died?" _Once again, I was stunned by the knowledge my little girl possessed. _

"I don't know." _I answered. Sometimes it was better to lie and now was one of those times. _"But I will never leave you Carter, so we will never find out."

"I know." _She breathed, cuddling back into me; her heart beat quickly changing to match mine. _"I love you Daddy."

_For once, I couldn't smile at those words. _"I love you too Carter."

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_MACY'S POV_

There was no way to describe the heavy silence that seemed impenetrable when Kevin was driving us to meet Stella and Frankie. They had found Nick and he had wanted to go with them, but he openly denied them and himself of freedom and of happiness. I can't blame Nick either. If I was in his shoes, I would have chosen my daughter as well. But I can't imagine how much this decision as killing him. If it was hurting him half as bad as it was his brothers, then I wished I could be there for him. But I wasn't. He was alone.

"Joe?" I whispered, seeing as he seemed more broken than Kevin was. "You know Nick wanted to come with us."

"I know." He answered, eyes still lost in the broken wasteland of sorrow. "And I understand why he did…more than you guys do." He didn't explain, though I pestered him to. He just resumed his deadpan stare out the window, allowing the occasional tear to fall. I sighed and looked out the window as well, watching the moon rise higher and higher. I wonder if Nick was watching it too.

"Well at least we know he is alive." I told the car, feeling like I was talking to the air instead of two brothers.

"Maybe it would have been better if he were dead." Joe and I turned to Kevin in shock. "I failed him and I failed Carter. If Nick were dead, he wouldn't have had to raise a kid at seventeen. If he had died, maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad to leave him. If he was dead…then we could move on knowing that there was nothing we could do for." Kevin was going to say more but I smacked him, hard, in the back of the head.

"Never say that." I growled, glaring at him from the back seat, breathing heavily in my anger. "Never say that Nick is better off dead! Because you know very well that he isn't. That it would hurt so much more to find out and that you would always blame yourself from not being able to protect him." Kevin said nothing and I turned as I heard Joe let out a small sob.

"Joe?" Kevin asked, looking at his brother before turning his gaze to the road. "What's wrong?" Joe only shook his head in response. Kevin let it slide, seeing as we had reached the meeting point for Stella and Frankie. They jumped in the car, putting all of the equipment and suitcases in the car.

"No luck?" Stella guessed as she climbed in after Frankie.

"No…we found him." I whispered, as Kevin started driving again. "But he couldn't leave."

"What? You found him? Why didn't you take him?" Frankie yelled, grabbing onto my shoulder, his eyes wide with happiness and worry.

"Because Frankie…he has a daughter." Kevin told the car and every fell into a shocked silence. "H-he was raped at seventeen she the girl got pregnant. They killed her and ever since, they used Nick's daughter to keep him there. And it worked. Nick chose her over us."

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NICK'S POV

_I watched, feeling far passed helpless, as they dragged her away from me. This wasn't uncommon and they never hurt her, but they did use her to get to me. I just knew that when they took her, I wouldn't see her for hours, or until after I won the next race. And then she would find me and run into my arms, always in tears. I would do anything to run after her and stop them form taking my angel, but I could do nothing when they held a gun to her head. I could do nothing but watch as she was taken from me. _

"Well, are you going to make us some money tonight Lucas?" _The boss of the company sneered into my ear. I nodded once and took the keys from his hands. _"Good. Now get in the car and drive." _He ordered and I took the keys, flinging myself into car. I ignored the cheers around me and I pushed everything to of my mind. I closed my eyes for one second and when I opened them, the finish line looked so different. I imagined Joe, Kevin, Macy, Frankie, Stella and Carter standing there, smiling and waving to me, beckoning me to come join them. I revved my engine, knowing that if I let this guy next to me get to them, he would run them over and kill them. So I had to win. So I could be with them. So everything I've had or have doesn't some crashing down. _

_And I crossed that finish line, ignoring the shouts of the loser. I won because I had the need for it. My competitor's, they were nobodies that this company picked off of the streets. They only had their life on the line. Me? I had something more than that at stake. So I won countless times, not for the company, not for me, but for her. But just because I won, didn't mean the pain was over. _

"Lucas, here is the highest bet and bidder. He owns you for the next three hours."

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**Chibiyu: **_More of a filler, but I had to explain a few things. Now you all will hate me next chapter (fyi, a time skip will occur), so I will be in hiding when I post it. Until Next Update!_


	10. Pouring Rain

**Chibiyu: **_This chapter is THREE DAYS in the future. _

**Nick: **_She is hiding in her very elaborate shelter at the moment. _

**Chibiyu: **_That I am. It won't be a long chapter either, just so you know. _

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**"Lucas, here is the highest bet and bidder. He owns you for the next three hours."**

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**_JOE'S POV_**

Three days. That's how long it was since we found out our last brother was alive. When he found out that he had a daughter at seventeen years old. And when he chose her over us. Kevin had lied when he said the pain would lessen. We had our brother back and he tore himself away from us. There was no healing that kind of betrayal and that kind of heart ache. I knew why Nick chose to stay with his daughter; I understand that more than anyone in this room. But it still hurt so much to know that he chose to stay where he was hurting, instead of here, where we could all heal.

"He didn't look bad…" Macy said for the 50th time in three days. And she was right. He looked stressed and tired, but he didn't physically look bad. I didn't see any scars, any signs of him being tortured or run down. He just looked like Nick, without the curls and with a little girl hugging his legs.

"You already said that Mace." Stella whispered, arm around her friend. I looked around the new hotel room, skimming over Kevin's sorrow filled face, Frankie's back as he searched on the computer, probably for ways to see Nick again and back to the girls. Stella looked like she didn't know what to feel, like she couldn't feel any more hurt or sadness. Macy just looked…lost.

"Mace?" I whispered and she looked up at me, not hiding her tears. "Do you still love Nick?"

She looked to Stella before looking back at me. "I do." She said her voice barely audible enough to be heard. "I never stopped." She took a breath, trying to compose herself. "But when I was him with Carter…I knew I would have to let him go." She shook her head. "But I don't think I can."Stella hugged her quietly.

"Umm…guys?" We all turned to look at Frankie. "Nick's name isn't on the roster anymore…"We all bolted from where we were sitting, or standing in Kevin's case, not caring that I knocked over the arm chair. Frankie pointed to the screen and sure enough, Nick was gone. And there was a new champion.

"What?" Kevin breathed, leaning over to stare at the screen.

"What does this mean?" Stella asked, tears forming her eyes. "Nick can't be…dead."

I took a single step back. No. Nick can't be gone. He can't be!

"Joe?"

I ignored whoever called my name. I turned and ran to the door, needing air, needing space. I didn't care that it was pouring rain. I didn't care that insane maniacs were looking for me. I only cared about getting far enough away to scream. I threw open the door and ran out into the rain, not looking where I was headed. Which, turned out to be bad because I barreled right into someone.

"Sorry." I muttered, pulling the up from the ground, ready to run again. But the person's hand didn't let go of my arm. Maybe running outside was a bad idea…

"Joe?" My head snapped up again at that voice. It can't be…the rain must be playing tricks on my ears…and eyes. I slowly turned to face him, letting my mouth drop open. Could it really…?

"Nick?" He nodded and I took in his appearance. He looked…terrible. His skin looked sick and pale, his hair, though plastered to his face from the rain, looked unwashed, and his eyes were lined red. Was the rain the only thing falling down his cheeks? "Why are you here?" I looked around, seeing no car, no one following him…and no Carter. "Where is Carter?"

Nick looked at me, a terrible pain flashing across his eyes. "Dead."

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**Chibiyu: **_…Until Next Update!_


	11. Closed Curtains

**Chibiyu: **_Hehe. Ok, time for a REAL update. :P_

_OH MY FRIENDS, MY FRIENDS, DON'T ASK ME! What your sacrifice was for…_

_Don't Own Jonas or the lyrics above. _

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**Nick looked at me, a terrible pain flashing across his eyes. "Dead."**

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NICK'S POV-Flashback of three days ago-going to BEFORE Joe ran into him.

**_I allowed myself to be led to the car in the back of the parking lot. I allowed the highest bidder to push me in the back and climb in after me. I allowed him to do whatever he wanted to do to me. _**

**_It was for Carter. It was for my daughter. _**

**_That one thought kept me through most of the sexual, physical and verbal assaults, nothing escaping from my mouth, none of the foul curses and none of the screams of pain, and nothing showed in my face, not a wince from the pain nor my disgust and hatred. _**

**_This is for Carter. This is for my daughter. _**

**"Lucas…" _The man cooed and I forced myself to look in his lust filled eyes. God he disgusted me. Go to Hell you crazy bastard. _"Lukie…"_Don't call me that. _"I wonder if your daughter will be in this business…she will be a good fuck." _What. Did. He. Say? _**

**"What did you say?" _I all but growled, pushing my guy off of me, letting him have free reign up until now. Now, I couldn't just sit back and let his guy talk about my young daughter like that. Not when I was doing this to keep her _out _of this business. _**

**"You can't talk to you _master _that way." _He sneered and I all hit him at those words. No one was my master, even if they paid to 'own' me. _"I bet the highest for your body and I don't recall paying for words. So shut up." _I crossed my arms, looking the guy dead in the eye, letting him see everything I had been holding back ever since I got dragged away from my baby. I let him see my pure hate and my undeniable rage. I let him see how disgusted I was of him. _**

**"Let's get one thing straight." _I told him, never breaking the eye contact. _"You may quote on quote, 'own me,' but that doesn't mean you can talk about _my daughter _that way." _He blinked once, shocked by the hostile tone in my voice. _"I do this _for her. _So she _stays out of this. Do you understand me?" He blinked again, getting out of his car and pulling me out with him. He towered over me, obviously going for the intimidating approach. _**

**"Let me tell you something little man…" _I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. _"You will _not _talk to me that way. I can say what I want to say about you and your little girl. And you know what you will do about it?" _Punch you and make you beg for mercy?_ "Nothing." _That is what you think. Talk about my daughter one more time…I dare you. _**

**_He laughed walking around to the hood of his paint chipper car. _"And because you can do nothing…how much would I scar a little girl if I raped her when she was barley two?" _I knew he was goading me, but I couldn't stop from tackling him. No one spoke like that, not about my daughter. _**

_If only I had known then…then I could have stopped it. I could have contained my anger, turned a deaf ear to the goading…I could have saved her. I could be holding her now, instead of sitting here in the rain, alone, heartbroken, lost…alone. If only I had known…then she would be with me, smiling, or at least pretending too, begging me to tell her about before I was racing. Before, in the days when I could sing and play music, when I could smile without my heart feeling pain. When I was surrounded by the people I took for granted. She always loved to hear those days…knowing that it made me happy, though my eyes always seemed to fill with tears when I spoke of it. She loved to hear about the world in which she could never reach and she loved that her dad was once happy. And I loved that I could make her happy, even though I myself was a wreck. But it was too late now…I could never see her smile, hear my daughter laugh, hold her as she cried, or watch her fall asleep in my arms. I killed her. Her life was gone because of what I did. Because I couldn't control my anger. If only I had known…_

_I let my head fall back, not feeling the rain pummel my numb face, aware that tears mixed with the cascading water, but ignoring those as well. Would it be better if I stayed here forever? Letting the elements kill me so I could be with her again? What was the point in living now that she was gone? Joe and Kevin where lost to me; I would never find them again and they would never look for me…not now. Not when they thought that I still had a reason to stay…that I still had a daughter. But was this wise? To let myself die right after I tasted sweet freedom?_

_Well why not? I was free now, but I won't be soon…so why not die with my freedom? Why not die with my daughter? Why not die so I can finally be with my family again and we can be happy? Why not be selfish, just this once? _

_I just want this pain to end…_

_I just want to smile again…_

_I just want Carter back…_

_I just want time itself to turn back…_

_This should have never happened. This pain…the pain in the past…no one should ever have to face this. Life shouldn't even hold this kind of soul splitting ache...so why did it? If life held this pain, did death? But with death comes comfort, comfort that I may never have to feel again, that I won't have to pain myself with each passing breath. That I won't have to worry anymore, or cry, or hurt. That I may finally be free. _

_Is it worth it? _

_Would Carter want you to do this?_

_Would Joe and Kevin ever know? _

_Would I be missed? _

_Was it better to live in this agony and give life a second chance? _

_Was it better to give up and let the eternal darkness consume me?_

_I don't know what to do…_

_I stood, walking towards the hotel, praying to God that he would give me the answer to this. Should I take my own life tonight, or endure through this? I shook my head, watching my feet and not the road in front of me. What was the point of watching where I went? If my feet took me off the edge of the cliff, then I would lay at the bottom of it. I don't care anymore…I can't care…it hurts too much. _

_Something warm and very solid barreled into me, causing me to lift my head in shock. _

"Sorry." _The figure muttered, my eyes widening in recognition. Was this my sign that I pleaded God for? My hand closed around his arm, not letting go when he tried to shake it off. This may not be the best idea but…I don't want to be alone. _

"Joe?" _I whispered, surprised when his head snapped up, him actually hearing my voice through the downpour. He turned at a pace that a snail would be proud of, his mouth dropping open as he saw me and his eyes flooding in both confusion and joy. _

"Nick?" _I nodded and watched him look me up and down. I knew I looked like a mess…I've been running and driving random hot wired cars for three days, right after my daughter's death…you wouldn't look your best either. _"Why are you here?" _He looked around and I knew what was coming, and I couldn't build my fortifications fast enough. I would have to face this now…_"Where is Carter?"

_Her name hurt to hear…it hurt to be reminded of what I lost. I'm not sure if I can take this. I'm not sure if I can overcome this pain…this depression. But he has to know…no matter how hard it is…he has to know. _"Dead."

_I watched something flash in Joe's eyes and a theory formed in my head, but I didn't bring it up. I don't even think that I could form a coherent sentence right now. Joe opened his arms to me and after a moment of just starring at him, I flung myself into them, holding onto him as if my very life depended on it. _

"Dead?" _He whispered and I nodded keeping my head buried in his chest. He had gotten taller than when I last hugged him. _"How?" _I pulled away from him, taking a few steps back, not knowing how I should say this. _"Nick?"

"It was my fault." _I told him. "All my fucking fault!" I cursed at the wind, failing to see the shock in Joe's eyes at my sudden outburst. _"I could have stopped it!"

"No, Nick, calm down, it's not your fault…" _Joe tried, but I didn't listen…I couldn't. _

"She's dead because I fought back! Because she was threatened so I fought back!" _I yelled at him, again failing to see the lights flicker on in a room a few doors down. _

"Nick it's not-"

"Don't you say it's not my fault!" _I roared, pushing him back as he tried to get close to me. _

"Nick-"

"NO JOSEPH!" _He cringed at the use of his full name, but I didn't care. I was too angry at myself to care. _"WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT MY _DAUGHTER _IS _DEAD _BECAUSE OF _ME?" _

"I don't believe that." _A new and quieter voice entered and we both looked over to see Kevin standing the rain, Macy, Stella and a teenage boy in the doorframe…Frankie?_

_I felt my composure break, my anger fade into nothing but the mind consuming sorrow as I looked at them. _"Then you believe in lies." _Joe stiffened at my words and Kevin walked over to his side. They looked at me for a moment and I ducked my head, not wanting to see the emotions in their eyes right now. I heard them approach me and I all but fell into their arms. I needed this comfort…but without Carter…was this still worth it?_

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_JOE'S POV_

Seeing Nick like this…it hurt more than I would have thought possible. But this isn't the most I've been hurt. I looked at Nick when he looked up, following his gaze and smiling softly as he looked at the three dry people in the door way. But he looked nervous, scared even, at the thought of rejoining them. I found that weird; when Kevin saved me, I wanted nothing more than to see everyone and hug them. But with Nick…he saved himself I guess…but why should it be any different?

"Come on Nick…there are other people who missed you." Kevin whispered, gently leading us back into the room, Stella, Macy and Frankie stepping back so we could come in. Instantly, Stella and Macy pulled our brother from us and hugged him tightly, him blinking once in surprise from their speed before pulling them close too. He rested his chin on Macy's head, his eyes never once leaving Frankie.

"Frankie?" He asked and our youngest nodded, the girls pulling away. I remembered what it was like to see our kid brother grown up. To feel the guilt of missing him growing up and the feel of just plain old missing him.

"Hi Nick." Frankie's voice cracked, causing his face to get a bit red and a small smile to grow on Nick's.

"Hey Tank." He whispered opening his arms a bit and Frankie flew into them, finally smiling as he buried his head in Nick's chest. "You're getting tall." Nick commented, ruffling Frankie's hair, the joy on his lips not reaching his eyes. Frankie pulled away, grimacing at the wet spot on his shirt, causing the girls to do the same. They ran off to change, Nick's smile fading into the same nothing that I had first seen him wear just minutes ago.

"Nick…about Cart-"

"Where's the bathroom?" Nick cut Kevin off, avoiding Kevin's look. He didn't want to talk about his daughter now. But he had to. We both saw that he had too. I pointed him to the bathroom and threw him some extra and clean clothes that Stella always took with her. He nodded and when I walked out, I heard the shower going.

"He has to talk about it eventually…" Kevin whispered and I nodded, feeling like being silent at the moment. "How do you think she…you know…she died?" I shrugged, sitting on the end of the bed, the only sound being the running water behind the closed door. "Joe, I kind of need your input here. He is your younger brother too."

I nodded, looking at the curtained window. "I know he is…" I sighed, returning my gaze to my hands. "If he thinks its his fault…he told me that he fought back…" Kevin nodded once, putting a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. "And we know that Carter was Nick's everything…so _they _must have known that too."

"They used Carter to get to Nick. And since he fought back…" Kevin trailed off, leaving me to nod. I watched my oldest brother look to the closed door, concern on his face. "I can't imagine the pain…" He shook his head and we fell back into the silence, each lost in our own thoughts and emotions.

"How can we help him?" Kevin finally asked and I shrugged, knowing that nothing would help him right now because he wouldn't want the help. He would deny that anything was wrong, to try and forget. We looked up as the door opened and Nick walked out, looking at both of us with deadened eyes. As his gaze met mine, he blinked and pursed his lips, walking over to the curtained window and peering through the closed drapes.

"Joe, can I talk to you…alone?" Kevin instantly stood and walked out, closing the door.

"What's wrong Nick?" Nick laughed humorlessly and I mentally slapped myself forsaking the most stupid question I could have ever asked. "You know what I mean."

"What did it feel like Joe?" He asked, his voice a whisper, him still not looking at me.

"I don't-"

"Losing your own daughter?"

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**Chibiyu: **_Now that this chapter is out of the way, the story can finally turn to Joe and Kevin. It took longer than I thought (curses plot bunnies) but it is finally happening. Emphasize on the word 'finally.' Until Next Update!_

_I am on a tight schedule so I will go back and proof read/edit this when I can. Sorry about the mistakes. _


	12. Sugar Coat

**Chibiyu: **_Thank you Silver, for being the only one to point out the lack of emotion and what not in the last chapter. I was rather looking forward to explaining why I did that to people. _

**Nick: **_Maybe no one noticed? We all know Silver analyzes everything. _

**Chibiyu: **_Nah…maybe…I don't know. Silver just knows me. Lol. _

_DON'T OWN JONAS_

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**"Losing your own daughter?" **

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_JOE'S POV_

Shock held my tongue from denying that statement; from sugar coating the three years passed with another lie. I looked right into Nick's knowing and pained gaze and I knew that he knew.

"How did you know?" I whispered, the words escaping my mouth before I could stop them. Nick tried to smile, but his lips did nothing but twitch.

"There were signs." He muttered, pushing the curtain aside an inch to look out the window. He didn't elaborate further. It was almost like he didn't know that he had too.

"Like…?" Maybe I could cover them in the future.

Nick sighed, still not looking at me. When he answered, his voice was still just as quiet. "The way you looked at Carter…the worry and envy…and the loss." I blinked, forcing myself to feel nothing from his true words. Yes, at the time, I had looked at Carter in that way. She was so little, so perfect, but not nearly as mine was. "What was her name?"

I haven't spoken her name out loud since she was murdered at the age of one. But I thought about her every day. And it still hurt, even now. I never got a chance to mourn over her, to wish that she was alive. Not while I was locked away. But now, I know I could…but after all this time, was it worth to let it out again?

"Joe?" I looked over to Nick, unaware that I had switched my gaze to my hands, which grasped the air as if they could reach through the gates of death and grab my daughter back. Nick sighed, looking away again. "Carter Addison Lucas…Addison being Mom's middle name…" My brother whispered and I chuckled lightly, causing him to look over.

"Mary Addison Lucas." I laughed, finding no humor in the fact that we both named our kids after a person we thought we would never see again. And we both were right. Mom was dead. Dad was dead. And yet there was no little Something Tom Lucas running around. But then again…there wasn't a little Sandy running around anymore either.

"How did she die?" I shook my head at Nick's almost silent question, glancing at him only to see that he didn't move. I didn't want to tell him. It was too painful for me. So I chose to hide it away, to not think of it. To pretend like my daughter never existed and to me…that was better than facing the pain of losing her.

"Carter was run over by three cars…" My head snapped up at Nick's voice. The volume didn't change but the tone matched the turmoil that was going on where my heart used to be. It echoed of the same heartbreak, longing, and wish to forget that mine did. But Nick couldn't know my pain. No one can understand. No one will understand. "I got back to the track, just in time to see her tied up and thrown onto the pavement. Her eyes met mine and I ran to her…but I couldn't…I wasn't…I was too slow." Nick forced out, me watching tears fall from his eyes again. "She was so scared…she knew what was going to happen and she didn't fight it." He looked to me, eyes searching mine. "And right before that fucking car hit her; do you know what she did?"

I shook my head, being able to imagine the story perfectly. A little girl, not even three years aged, with beautiful soft curls and intelligent eyes of cocoa tied up in rope or wire, lying on the cold cement, her eyes only on the one person she loved. And then there was Nick, running in desperation, but knowing that he would never get to her in time. And that scene broke my heart more than I should have let it. "What did she do?" I finally asked and Nick closed his eyes, taking a shaky breath.

"She smiled at me." He looked back over to me. "And she mouthed that she loved me." He shook his head, allowing it to drop once more and his grip on the curtain tightened. "And then she was gone." He bit his lip, not caring that tiny beads of blood started to form. I doubt he even felt the pain. Often, I didn't when consumed with this agony, with no way of letting it out. Sometimes, I wished that the physical was intense enough for me to feel it through the heartbreak. But it never was. A small sob escaped his lips before he sealed them again. "Three days…I'm not sure if I can make to the end of the week."

I suddenly stood, Nick jumping and looking over to me in alarm. "Nick…"My voice was soft and quiet, but I knew he heard the underlying pain. I knew he heard what he was feeling right now. "I was this way too when my baby died." He looked at me with lost eyes, but why did I get the feeling that he knew if he told me about Carter, that I would tell him about Mary? I've forgotten how smart he was, even when he was too caught up in the past to think straight. "But here I am…and you can make it too. You know why?" He blinked once, saying nothing. "Because you're not alone like I was. Because you are allowed to scream and cry and curse at the wind and lash out and do whatever you need too to express your feelings. I wasn't." He sat back down on the bed. "You don't have to be as broken as me."

Nick finally walked over and sat on the edge of the bed next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and keeping it there even when I tried to shrug it off. "You're not alone now either Joe." He reminded me, eyes on the floor. We were silent for a moment before I spoke again. Nick wanted to know. So I would tell him.

"Do you want to know how she died?" He looked over at me and hesitated before nodding. "You have to swear to me that you won't tell Kevin, Frankie, or the girls, ok? I want to tell them…when I am ready." He nodded, swearing with the promise in his still shattering eyes.

"You have my word." He vowed, patting my shoulder. I looked at him, still unsure thought. He has changed more than I could see. Can I still trust him with this? "Joe, the one thing about me that hasn't changed is my loyalty. Why do you think I didn't leave my daughter when I really wanted to go with you?"

"That's hardly a fair comparison, but you have a point." I nodded. It was time for the secret to come out, even though I didn't want it to.

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_MACY'S POV_

_ It was on everyone's mind. Two questions. One was what was going on behind that closed door? Our gazes frequently shifted back to the door that hid Joe and Nick. Kevin had told us about how Nick wanted to talk to Joe and Joe alone, but we were all oblivious as to why. I think Kevin was rather hurt by that too. The second one was even more important. Now that we were all back together, how do we start to heal?_

_Joe hasn't spoken three words about his past and Nick is obviously a wreck right now. Who wouldn't be? Joe with his secrets…it was wrong. He knew we were here to help him and he still wants to go on unaided when we all see the struggle and pain behind his eyes. Stella had been right about his eyes. They lacked the usual Joe Lucas sparkle. They lacked laughter. They lacked light. And I hated seeing him without a smile. It was right. _

_It was still hard with Nick, but we knew so much about his past from just one night, that we weren't left t guess. Joe left us to guess, so naturally, we worried more about him. But still…losing your child…I can't imagine that. Now is not a time for happy reunited smiles and laughs…no. Now is a time for comfort and mourning and if this part of Nick hasn't changed, he will want to do that alone. So how can we act around them?_

_Joe needs a normal environment and Nick needs to opposite. There is no middle ground here that I know of. So how can we do this? We can't smile because of Nick's loss and we can't be zombies like Joe is right now. So what can we do?_

"We can be there for them." _I looked up at the fourteen year old. He, like Nick, had the gift of reading people's thoughts from their faces. _"It will be really hard…but I want my old brothers back." _He whispered, Kevin looking up at Frankie, sorrow in his eyes. _"Kev, you've been trying, but even you haven't been the same." _Frankie chuckled for a second, but it was sad and humorless. _"I mean, how could you be? But still…you've been less of a big brother and more of a protector…and I understand that." _He quickly added, looking to his feet and blowing his too-long hair from his eyes. _"I just miss having a brother sometimes."

_We were all stunned speechless by Frankie's words. Often we forgot how much Frankie has changed; he just wasn't the little prankster anymore. Kevin opened his mouth to speak, but closed it, not finding words to respond. I lost count of the seconds as the silence stretched on. No one had anything to say. No one knew what to say. _

"Frankie?" _I finally called and he looked over to me. I stood and hugged him tightly. _"We all miss that too and we understand what you are feeling…I think we all are feeling it." _I looked to Stella, who nodded and Kevin's face spoke for him. _"But none of us had the courage to say it out loud." _Frankie nodded, pulling away from me and sitting on the couch's arm rest. _

"We are going to have to move soon." _Stella suddenly piped up. _"Now that Nick escaped."

"How did he?" _Kevin asked, looking over to Stella, who shrugged. _

"I high jacked a car and drove for three days straight, never staying in the same vehicle for over four hours.." _We all jumped, startled by the soft voice. Nick was standing the door way, the door itself closed enough so it didn't show inside the room. _"Kevin?" _Kevin instantly was on his feet and Nick stepped back, allowing his brother to brush passed him. _"I'll come back in a second." _Kevin stopped and looked back at Nick, patting his brother's shoulder before disappearing into the room. Nick stepped out and closed the door silently behind him. _

"Is Joe ok?" _Nick shook his head. _"Will he be?" _Stella sounded so scared for him. Nick shrugged. _

"Will any of us be?" _He countered gently before walking over and putting a hand on his little brother's shoulder, very much like Kevin to him just moments ago. _

"Hopefully…in time." _Nick nodded at Frankie's statement, his eyes going to Stella for a moment before resting back on me. _

"I'm sorry Nick…" _I whispered, reaching my hand out and putting it on top of Nick's, which lay on Frankie's shoulder. Nick nodded again, breaking eye contact with us all. _"Can I ask you something?" _He nodded, looking back up. _"What was it like there? What did they do to you?"

_He looked to the ceiling and took a deep breath. _"I want to tell my story when everyone is here…" _ I nodded, squeezing his hand a bit. _"It was terrible Mace; that much I can tell you." _He paused for a second, before whispering something I couldn't make out. _"I'm going to check back on Joe." _He turned and went back in the room without another word. _

"What did he say Frankie?" _Stella asked, Frankie being the closest to Nick at the time. _

_Frankie hesitated. _"He said..."Joe's looked worse than mine.""

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_NICK'S POV_

_ I stepped back into the room, walking straight over to the window, not ever looking at my two brothers. I knew Joe would be huddled in Kevin's arms, soaking up the comfort and support that a younger brother could never give._

_I pushed back the curtain, looking for any people who may be looking for us, but allowing myself to think without having to worry about paying attention to the scene behind me. Joe had just told me something that he has kept locked away for three years. Something that topped everything I've been through. I don't know how he coped with it. I was ready to break and before he found me, I was ready to drive a car off a cliff. In fact, I was still ready to do that. It is amazing that Joe hasn't acted on my previous thoughts. In all honesty, I never knew my brother could be that brave, that determined to live. If I was him, I would have given up. And that scares me because I don't give up easily. Not without a long, hard fight. _

"Nick?" _I looked back as Kevin called to me, not moving even when he patted the bed next to him. I didn't want to be comforted right now. I needed to feel this pain. I needed to feel what I brought upon my daughter. I needed to feel the consequences of my selfish actions. Joe didn't. Joe needed Kevin right now. Joe needed his older brother. I just needed to be alone. _"Nick, come here." _ I looked away again, eyes scanning the distance. I heard Kevin sigh and Joe mutter something, but I ignored them. _

"Did it hurt?" _Joe whispered and I knew exactly what he was talking about. Did watching my daughter die hurt? Of course it did. But did it then?_

"Not during the moment." _I muttered, keeping my eyes glued out the window. _"Everything seemed to be moving so fast…everything was just a blur to me. Just like it always has been. I was in shock…I felt numb and disconnected, but I didn't feel pain. Only after everything happened, did I feel the pain, the guilt, the anger, the hate, and the disgust. Only after it happened did I fully realize what happened. That I fully realized she was dead." _And many other things can be added to the list of things I never really could comprehend until after the event, like being sold to the highest bidder. Like being beaten senseless or being someone's slave monkey or sex toy. It didn't hit me that I had a daughter until I actually saw my eyes on her face. I never seemed to be touched by experiences as they happened; it was always the aftershock that killed me. I wonder if Joe is the same way. _

"What are you talking about?" _Kevin asked, looking between Joe and I, or at least, it sounded like he was. _

"I will tell you later…when everyone is together." _Joe mumbled. I narrowed my eyes, starring at a shining speck in the distance, my breath hitching in my throat. _

"Shit."

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**Chibiyu: **_OK, now is the time I ask you for you all to list off your questions in a review and I will do my best to answer them throughout the next few chapters. Yes, I know you don't know all of Nick's or Joe's story and I know you know nothing of the other's. I will get there. Very soon. Until Next Update!_


	13. Trust Me

**Chibiyu: **_Here you go!_

**Nick: **_…what are you giving?_

**Chibiyu: **_The update you adorable dolt!_

_DON'T OWN JONAS_

**_ALL BOLD IS A FLASHBACK_**

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**"Shit." **

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_KEVIN'S POV_

I looked up at Nick in alarm when he bolted from the window and pulled me and Joe out the door. He stopped for a moment, a panicked but strangely calm look on his face. He opened the hall closet door and pulled out a wire hanger before turning to us, urgency overpowering the panic in his eyes and the shake that I was sure would be in his voice.

"Stella, I need you to do exactly as I say." She nodded. "They are coming. We have three minutes, at least." He looked to the rest of us. "Grab what you need and run outside." They were coming? I ran to the door, not fully processing what Nick had said when I threw it open, keys in hand, but Nick brushed passed me and took them, throwing them long and far. Was he out of his mind?

"What did you do?" I yelled, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it. He just killed us all!

His calm gaze met mine.

"They know your car." And then he was gone again, pressing his ear to hotel door rooms, grimacing in disgust when he reached one, but all the same, he nodded when he pulled away. Confusion held me still as he walked to the car, just feet from him and checked it quickly, nodding to himself. It was an SUV with a large trunk, but it was smaller than my car now. We can't all fit in that easily and it didn't look like it was built for speed. Nick had to know that. But then again, its not like he can get into a locked car...or can he?

"Stella!" She ran over as Nick unbent the hanger and bit his tongue as he pushed it over the car's window, reaching it down and trying to get the lock. "You are driving. They won't suspect a girl to be our get-a-way driver." She nodded and was about to say something when Nick successfully unlocked the car door.

"Nick, we can't steal a car!" I scolded, trying to pull him away from it. I didn't want to leave these people without a ride and have a police case agaisnt us.

"Oh, I forgot stealing is worse than dying!" He hissed, not stopping what he was doing. He opened the car door as everyone ran from our room. "Joe, Kevin, in the trunk. Frankie, back seat, Macy, passenger seat." No one moved. "NOW!" He bent under the steering wheel and my eyes widened as I watched him hot wire the car, it roaring to life quickly from his experienced fingers. Stella got in the drivers seat, shaking but not letting the fear show on her face. Nick jumped in the trunk with Joe, grabbing me and pulling me down with him.

We felt the car move and we heard cars pull in the entrance way. Joe was clutching onto me, his grip painful as we listened. I was holding onto both of my brothers, trying to calm my heart. Nick was silent, no sign of fear touching him. In fact, I think it was anger dotting his eyes as he listened, instead of the expected fear. I did not like seeing that look of hate, that yearn for revenge contaminating his face. Stella started humming to herself as she turned on the radio, putting on the act that nothing was wrong. Macy struck up a conversation with Frankie. The car kept moving.

Joe relaxed against me, Nick tensed, closing his eyes and listening. I heard the purr of engines as several cars passed us and Macy joining in with Stella's singing. If I didn't know better, I would say they were just two girls and their brother, having a good time over the dwindling summer months. But I knew better. I only hoped _they _didn't, like Nick seemed to think they did not. I ran my fingers through his hair, noting how tense and bothered he seemed. He cracked open his eyes and looked at me with a small, irritated glare. So that much still hasn't changed either. I smirked and did the same to Joe, who, like always, leaned into it a bit.

The silence stretched on for another minute and still, we were not stopped. Nick let out a breath that I hadn't known he had been holding and Joe looked over to me.

"Is it…safe?" He asked, his voice barely heard over the engine. Nick pushed on the back of the trunk, knowing Frankie would feel it and know what he was asking. Joe and I watched as Nick left his hand on the back of the chair and nodded once when we heard a thump.

"Frankie wouldn't have hit back if it wasn't safe." He spoke, still looking on the edge, though now that my eyes adjusted, I could see how mentally tired he seemed. He covered it a moment later. Joe pulled back on the middle sear section, backing up as it came down and he crawled through. I pushed Nick through and forced myself through the tight space, closing it after me. "Stell, keep driving." Nick ordered, looking in the mirrors, which were clear. "Don't let your foot off the gas until mine is on it."

"No, I am driving." I argued, wanting to let my little brother rest a bit. He just lost his daughter, he needed to clear his head and driving was almost guaranteed to make him remember again. I didn't need him to feel that pain right now; I needed him focused and I needed to know that he was safe and not a prisoner of his mind and past, like Joe was, like I had been.

"Kev…" He took a deep breath, calming himself before he let his anger at the people that killed his daughter best him. "We are being chased by the _best _and _illegal _racers _in the country._" I blinked. "I'm sorry Kevin, but if we are getting away, _the champion _needs to drive." When he said it like that…

I nodded once, Nick smiling very small at me before climbing over the center console. Stella undid her seat belt, Nick's foot replacing hers and his hands on the wheel. He slid into the seat easily after Stella maneuvered around him and plopped onto Joe's lap.

"Wait…" Frankie gained our attention, Nick's eyes flicking to the rearview to look before looking back at the dusty road. "They aren't chasing us now though…" Another point there. Where do they get their logic? How come I don't notice these things in time? Focus Kevin! You have to keep focused to keep them safe.

"They will be Tank." Nick muttered, eyes scanning the road and vacant desert landscape behind us. "They will realize they missed us." He took a breath. "When they come, I need you guys to hang on, and trust me. I won't go back there…and I won't let any of you get caught…"

"Nick, we trust you." Macy reassured him and he nodded, his mouth set into a thin, determined line.

"And if you need to scream, in that time we are being chased, you can. I've tuned out worse." We all nodded at Nick's cold tone as he glanced back again. He said no more after that.

Macy shifted, looking at Nick with both awe and slight fear, like she was trying to find the man she loved. Stella was cuddling Joe, comforting him in her own way. Joe was holding her close, almost smiling as he rested his chin on her shoulder, eyes on the road in front of us and the rearview mirror. Frankie was looking at all of us, something sorrow-filled tainting his eyes, but he didn't say a thing about it. I was sitting here; making sure everyone was safe and constantly checking behind us, feeling more paranoid than when Nick, Stella and Joe fooled me about a ghost being in the firehouse.

"Frankie, what's wrong bud?" He looked at me and shrugged.

"It's…complicated." He whispered, Stella reaching over and taking his hand.

"What isn't nowadays Tank?" Nick whispered, completely serious, but it looked like he knew what his younger brother was about to say. "And, in advance, I am sorry but I can't...not yet." Yeah, he knew.

Frankie nodded but looked to us, knowing we where confused and that we lacked the talent of reading people like he and Nick did. "We are all together and yet…"

"We are strangers." Joe finished, Frankie nodding.

"It's no ones fault…no one in this car anyway…but I think we should start telling each other what happened to us…these secrets are keeping us from becoming a family again…and I really want…I want my brothers back." He looked around, his eyes swimming with unshed tears. Nick met his gaze briefly before looking away, a pained look in his eyes. Joe didn't look at Frankie at all, preferring to retreat back into his shell. Frankie looked at me, pleading in his eyes. If I opened up, maybe they would too. At least, that was what Frankie was hoping.

"I guess I will start…" I took a deep breath, Macy reaching back and grabbing my hand, Nick looking back at the road again, via the mirrors, staying to his silence. "I was taken and kept for three months before Stella and Macy managed to get word to me. That gave me the hope and strength I needed to escape."

Frankie hit me, hard. "No simplified version." He ordered and I nodded, not feeling odd that my youngest brother was bossing me around. Did this hurt to say it again? Not really. I told Stella and Macy first, as Frankie had been sleeping when I met them in the safe house. I told Frankie when he woke up, him pressing me for every detail, his eyes changed, looking more like Nick than he did the prankster. I still don't' know what brought that change, but I am sure Frankie will tell us soon.

"The first week I was there…I was kept in complete darkness and silence. I thought I would go mad from it all."

**I slumped against the wall, ignoring how the rough gag, which was caked with my blood and dry skin, rubbed against my already torn and scabbed skin. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. If this kept up, I would lose whatever sanity I had left. If this kept up, I would be useless to Joe and Nick…that is, if they were still alive. I wanted to save them, to go to them, but I couldn't even move. I couldn't even keep my mind safe from these sadistic people. So how could I even save two other people, if I can't even save myself? **

**Was it the silence, darkness or the doubt that would make me go insane?**

"I didn't know what was worse…but the moment after that, I knew that none of those would break me first." Nick growled lowly, his hands going white on the steering wheel, his eyes still focused on the road.

"That's when those fucking bastards raped you." It wasn't a question.

"Nick, please, I agree with you, but get out of the swearing habit." Joe asked lightly, looking at me in sorrow and pain, but not surprise. Nick didn't answer to that.

"Yes Nick…that was when I was raped…and at the time, I took it for granted that it only happened to me once and that it was another guy…therefore impossible for me to get a girl pregnant." Macy's grip became tighter and I smiled at her, her echoing my sad smile, her eyes not filled with pity, but understanding. Stella hid her face in Joe's shoulder from my gaze as Joe nodded, his eyes bleeding in pain, but somehow, he was still composed. Nick still drove, doing his best to keep his mask on, though his eyes betrayed him with anger, disgust, hatred, and sorrow.

"That was the worst thing that happened to me…other times, I was just kept in my silent prison, trying to break out of my own mind to try and hear noise. Sometimes they beat me, starved me, treated me like I was an animal…but it was bearable." I took a breath, looking behind me and seeing nothing still. We were still safe. Nick turned down a side road, and I literally saw him planning everything. I tried to gather my thoughts from here on out, to try and tell them like they happened, but at the time, everything was so scrambled that I couldn't collect all the pieces.

"Keep going." Frankie ordered and I nodded, having forgotten that I had stopped for over a minute now.

"I was going insane, and I would have soon, without any light in my life...and that was when Macy had snuck in and pushed a note under my door, with a matchbox, inside was a single match." I smiled when I remembered feeling the confusion at first, and then the hope as the tiny light ate away at the darkness, keeping it at bay and pushing it from my mind. "It read: _We are coming Kevin. Hang in there. With love, Mace, Stell, Tank_." Macy, Stella, and Frankie nodded. "I knew it was them because they used their nicknames and that gave me hope."

"I was let out the next hour and I forced myself to act disconnected from the world, when I was really remembering every hall, every camera, every guard position I saw. A week later and one note late with the day for the escape, I was ready. It was easy…almost too easy. But then I found out Macy and Stella had helped take out the guards."

Stella took over from here. "After that, we all ran to the safe house, which at the time was the first place, you guys played a concert, as it was close to home. It was all old and disgusting, but perfect for a day hideout. We devoted the rest of our time to learn to find you guys."

"How did you find Kevin in the first place? How did _you _learn how to fight?" Joe asked, his second question directed to Stella more than anyone else.

"That will have to wait." Nick cut across, looking back, eyes narrowing. "Seat belts on." We obeyed without question, Joe pulling his over Stella and all of us looked back. Five cars were growing in the distance.

"Should we hide?"

"They already know it's us." Nick answered Macy, and we watched his demeanor turn from horrified and pained brother to a violent, illegal racer. And that was what we needed to get away.

I looked out and blinked at a sign we had just passed, opening my mouth, but I shut it, deciding to trust Nick on this one. I wonder if that is the right decision…was Nick really sane after the pain and heartbreak he had just went through? Or was he like I had been? Was he uncaring for himself and willingly to take rash paths to try for freedom? No Kevin...trust him. That is all you can do right now.

No one else seemed to notice where we were headed. The cars behind us claimed everyone's attention. They grew closer by the minute, their cars designed for speed, ours more for maneuverability. Was that purposeful on Nick's part? I looked forward and bit my lip as the railing came into view. Being so close to the Grand Canyon, I was stupid to think that we wouldn't see cliffs, but Nick was going to get us up close and personal.

"Action movie time…" He muttered with a cold but joking feel to this voice. "You guys trust me?"

"We don't have a choice…" Joe tried to joke but this was not the time. "Of course we do Nick."

"Yes." Macy nodded, putting her hand on Nick's leg, her eyes confident, Nick nodding at her look.

"If this doesn't work…don't hate me for killing you."

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**Chibiyu: **_Last line doesn't mean Nick is going to pull out a gun and shoot them lol. Until Next Update! _


	14. Get Away

**Chibiyu: **_I didn't realize I haven't updated this in awhile..my bad!_

**Nick: **_If you have twitter account, she is trying to get #JonasFans to trend again and will love you if you help her on her quest…Why do I help this girl?_

**Chibiyu: **_Because you love me. _

_I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT AND OC' LA IS DISNEY PROPERTY!_

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**"If this doesn't work…don't hate me for killing you."**

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_MACY'S POV_

_Needless to say, that gained everyone's attention but my confidence in Nick did not waver. He wouldn't kill us. He would never try and kill us or hurt us. He only wanted us safe. And for that, I trusted him. _

"You need to do _exactly as I say, when I say it." __We all jumped at the sudden hostility in Nick's voice. _"If you don't, you _will die." __We all nodded_. "Seatbelts off." _We all moved in sync, me moving and unbuckling Nick's, who nodded in thanks. _

"Nick…" _Kevin whispered as the rail came closer with each passing breath. Nick ignored him, his jaw evenly set, his eyes only on the ledge and not on the ones pursuing us. _

"And this…is why I survived." _And the car blasted passed the railing, blowing the metal apart as if it were paper. Nick was the only person not screaming. _"Jump out! NOW!" _He roared and he reached over and threw open my door, pushing me out. I fell for a few feet but my fall and screams stopped short as my feet met rock. I scurried over the edge, pushing my brown hair from my face and watching as a blonde, two heads of curls, and a flat ironed head holding a smaller form jumped from the car at the same time. I watched them land on the same rock ledge and I was quick to hop down to them. I only felt relief when I saw all of them had made it; that Nick had not betrayed our trust. Nick held out his arms and pressed us all against the rock face, not looking up. __The temptation was too great foo the rest of us though. But all we saw was rock. This whole cliff face was scattered with ledges, effectively blocking us from view. This was Nick's plan...but-_

"How did you-" _Stella started but she was cut off by the loudest boom and crunching squeal that any one of us had ever heard. We all clapped our hands to our ears and winced. Joe looked over the edge and pulled back, pale._

"That could have been us…" _He whispered and Nick put his hand over his brother's mouth, silencing everyone with a look. And in a moment, we knew why. Engines were above us. Purring. Still. And then nothing. Footsteps. Rocks getting kicked over the edge and falling to our feet. No one moved. No on breathed. It was obvious to me that everyone was experiencing the same kind of shock from being so close to death, of fear of getting caught, and disbelief that we were still alive. _

"Look at the car!" _A voice above us shouted and judging from the murder growing in Nick's eyes, this guy was bad news. _"I guess Lucas couldn't take the heat and would rather kill himself and his family instead of getting killed by us."

"Always did like to end it by his own hand, Lucas did." _Another voice laughed and Nick's hands clenched into fists and started visibly shaking. I put my hand on his shoulder, but it did nothing. I doubt he even felt it there._

"We should go down there and see if Lucas pulled a Houdini on us again…" _The first voice mumbled as if annoyed, followed by shuffling. Again?_

"There's a path about a mile down we can take. I never did like rock climbing." _A new voice told the crew. Mumbles were heard before one voice, the first one, spoke up. _

"Alright, I'll stay here for look out and trust you all with this task. Fields, stay with me." _Nick blinked at that name and voice, something I did not like coming to his face. We stayed silent for a few more moments, Nick gesturing for us to stay here when the footsteps of many faded away. He slowly inched along the rock ledge, paying no mind to the fact that he was still a long ways from the ground as he started climbing up, using the small ledges as hand and foot hold. I walked over to where he had been and watched him, ready to catch him if he should fall. I may be a girl, but Macy Misa is stronger than she looks! I watched him climb over the ledge and jumped as the two up there laughed. _

"Well…we both knew you would have lived Lucas." _The first voice taunted, lighter in joking and like he was waiting for this moment, this meeting for a long time. _

"Yeah, it's not like you to just give up and die." _The second voice, Fields, laughed, his voice a bit higher but somehow, more intimidating. My hands grabbed blindly at the mulitcolored stones behind me, fearing that Nick didn't know what he had gotten into._

"For three days I've been plotting out different ways to kill you." _Nick's low voice, layered with ice, carried quite easily down to us. And we all took a sharp intake of breath from this hatred and from his words. _"Trust me when I say that you are not getting out of this alive."

_Laughter followed his statement. _"That's rich. We all know ya don't got the guts."

"Or the weapons." _Guns were heard being cocked and Kevin pushed me out of the way, instantly starting to climb with Joe right at his heels. But they were weaponless too. They could do nothing. We could do nothing. _

"Three days ago, I didn't." _Nick agreed. _"But you took my daughter from me. You murdered her." _Kevin and Joe both froze from those words. _"I don't need guts to kill you. I have enough pain and hatred in my heart that will make pulling a trigger the easiest thing I've ever done." _Joe and Kevin started moving again and I did too, beating both of them and looking over, a shocked gasp coming from my lips. Two guns were pointed at Nick, and Nick looked like he didn't care. And that was what scared me about this whole scene. _

"Those are some big words for a guy without a trigger in his hand." _The first laughed and I took in his coming in shadow of a beard, small, bug like eyes, and shaved head. He was huge, all muscle, all mean. He wore exactly what Nick did when he first saw him-the leather jacket, the white shirt, the leather pants, the spiked collar. He was the 'new' champion. The other was smaller in build but the menace in his eyes made up for it, as did the tattoos covering every inch of visible skin. _

"I take it you haven't looked at your guns since I left?" _Nick laughed, hands going to his pockets. He pulled out two thin pieces of metal, the smirk on his face light and easy. Both of the men tightened their fingers on the trigger, me flinching, but Nick laughing. Nothing happened. _"Did you think I'd leave you boys with guns?" _He shook his head. _"I'm not that stupid." _He sighed and threw the metal pieces over his shoulder, and I watched then shine in the sun as the fell to the ground below. _"But you are."

_Nick lifted his shirt slightly and pulled something out of the waist band of his jeans. Everyone hanging over the ledge jumped up and started forward, wanting to stop Nick, but at the same time, not wanting to get into this. _

"Nick…you can't kill them!" _Stella screamed looking at the small 6 shot in clenched confidently in Nick's fingers. This wasn't right…Nick shouldn't even know how to hold a gun, much less fire one. _

"Why can't I?" _Nick asked, readying the weapon. _"They killed my daughter." _There was no ignoring the cold, the desperate need to kill these people that his voice portrayed._

"Nick, come on, just walk away." _Kevin tried shakily but Nick shook his head. _

"Would you be able to just _walk away_?" _He hissed, never taking his eyes off the two men. Both of them never took their eyes off Nick's gun. Their faces only showed horror. They knew Nick would do it. Nick knew he could do it. _

"Nick, this isn't you." _Joe whispered and Nick sighed. _

"I told you Joe…I'm not who you remember." _I guess he was right. _

"Would Carter want this Nick?" _I suddenly asked and much to my dismay, Nick nodded. _

"She may have been young, but even one as young as her can hate." _There was no denying the hate and rage in Nick's voice. And I myself felt the same. No one that young should have to know so much and see so much to know what true hate it. Carter was just a baby and she hated. She was just a baby and her life was already Hell. She was just a baby, and she was murdered. _

_But this still wasn't right. _

"Do it then Lucas." _Fields whispered, his eyes leaving the guns barrel and looking to Nick. _"Do it."

"You've never killed before Lucas…revenge and anger is not enough."_ The first murmured and Nick scoffed. _

"Never killed? What am I doing when I win every race?" _Nick asked and both of their mouths fell open. _"I am well aware that I am a murderer." _Nick fingered the trigger, looking to the gun for a moment. _"I can handle two more deaths weighing on my conscience." _Nick pointed the lethal bit of metal to the first man, who paled instantly. _"You're first. You hit her first. So you die first."

_Joe and Kevin both walked up and all but wrenched Nick's arm down. _"This isn't worth it Nick." _They yelled, trying to bring some sense into their brother, trying to make him see that revenge, that killing, was not the way to handle this. But Nick remained blind. _

"Let go." _Nick ordered his brothers, but neither did. Kevin was now trying to pull Nick's fingers away from the metal, but to no avail. _"These bastards killed my daughter. Don't deny me the right of avenging her."

"Wait…Nick?" _We all looked to Joe. _"Where's the third?" _Nick turned his head away, not looking at any of us. There was third? How did Joe know that? _"You didn't…" _Joe whispered and Nick swallowed. _

"It was either him or me." _Nick muttered, yanking his arm from his brother's grasp and pushing them back. He pointed the gun again, new determination in his eyes. _"Get away from the cars." _He ordered and the two scrambled away from it. He nodded to us and we all ran to it, climbing into one of the bigger cars, Kevin claiming the driver seat before Nick could push him out of it. Nick walked over to it, his eyes never leaving the two in front of him. Kevin honked the horn but Nick didn't move anymore. _"You're lucky bastards." _And he shot. _

_The blaring sound of the horn covered up the bang and the girl's screams. Both guys jumped back, the shot hitting the ground at their feet. And that's when I understood. Nick wasn't going to kill. Not anymore. I slowly climbed into the car, my eyes never leaving him. Nick fired again, advancing and again, hitting the ground, causing the two to hop back. On the third shot, they jumped into the railing and lost their balance, plummeting towards the earth. Nick looked over the railing before he walked back to us and hopped into the back seat, not commenting on Kevin's want to drive. _

"Are they…?"

"No." _Came Nick's quick answer. _"But I wish they were." _I almost didn't catch his whisper or the longing in his voice. _

"Why the sudden change of mind?" _Frankie whispered, having been so quiet that I began to fear that he was going mute. _

"Later." _Nick tried to tell us but I was grasping his wrist, taking the gun from his hands and gingerly handing it to Joe. I climbed over and planted myself on his legs and starred him straight in the eye. He was clearly startled by how distraught I must look and my actions. _

"No. You will tell us now why you almost murdered them and why you killed the third." _Nick blinked in surprise at the authority in my voice. _"I don't want to be traveling with a killer…unless I know his cause." _Nick looked out the window as Kevin started the car, not answering for a moment. I tried to see past the mask he was trying to put on, and when I did, I looked away, already knowing that I would be haunted by that amount of pain he was feeling. _

"Kevin, before you drive reach under the steering wheel and peel off the sticker under it." _We all turned and watched Kevin do as Nick asked. He dropped it out the window as Nick had just told him too. _"Tracker. Drive anywhere-it doesn't matter now." _Kev nodded and pulled away from the cliff. _

"Answer me Nick." _I told him, pushing his shoulders a bit, knowing he was trying to delay. I wasn't going to let him. We all needed an explanation after what we had just seen. He needed to talk. Now. _

"Like I said back there, it was me or him…" _Nick trailed off, still looking out the window. _"I didn't know…It was after Carter died, after I ran and managed to take out a few guns that I came across…" _Frankie swatted Nick and he jumped, looking to his younger brother in confusion. _

"Tell us _everything._ From the beginning. Tell it so we can see it." _Nick starred at Frankie for a minute, the conflict showing clearly in his eyes. _"We can handle it." _Nick slowly nodded, his voice doing exactly what Frankie wanted it to. It made a movie for us. I only hoped Kevin could drive and listen at the same time. _

_-**Flashback-Nick's POV- (All bold is the flashback and in Nick's POV)**_

**_I kicked. I screamed. I bit. I hollered. I think I cried as the van drove away. And all the time I was struggling, I was still screaming out their names, even though the van was long gone. I didn't want to believe that they separated us. I didn't want to believe that that may have been the last time I will get to see my brothers. I didn't want to believe that this was my new reality. _**

**"He's a feisty one isn't he?" _I looked up, terrified as a tall man with dark dark eyes looked down at me, the smile on his face was far from friendly. _"But he needs a lesson in discipline." **

_Nick paused, blinking a few times before he spoke again. _"I don't remember what they did to me." _He whispered. _"I don't remember much of the beginning at all…" _I suddenly felt fear clench around my heart, though Nick's voice was uncaring, I knew that he too was afraid by his lapse in memory. _"I just know it was bad."

"Bad as in how?" _Frankie pressed and Nick looked over to him. _

"Bad enough to forget."

_-**I starred out of a car window, not caring as the landscape passed us by, not caring that everything was changing around me. Not caring that I was living in Hell. I still don't know why they kept me alive. Two months of doing nothing but making living torturous. There had been no ransom. So why bother to keep me around? The car stopped and I blinked, looking to the tall man with dark eyes in confusion. He smiled to me, his chipped teeth showing and I cringed, looking away almost instantly. **_

**"Here's your new job Lucas." _My name is Nick. But I didn't dare say that aloud. Not again. I shuddered a bit from the memory, not remembering what they did to me, but I did remember the fire in my veins and the choking feeling as I tried to breathe. Needless to say, I don't want to go through that again.-_**

"For the next month…" _Nick whispered, his arms going around Macy and hugging her for comfort. _"For the next month they trained me and made me into the ass I am today." _Macy hit him for that Joe and glared. _"If I had another word to describe myself Joe, I would have used it."

"You're not an ass!" _Macy told him, but Nick shook his head. _

"You don't know anything yet Mace."

-**I stood in the corner, shivering from the cold wind that was seeping in through the crack in the window, starring at the boss with only fear. He loomed over me, pulling a girl to his side and she smiled, handcuffs in her hands. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I knew that it was nothing good. **

**"Well Lucas, I think this is the last time you will try and escape…" The man whispered, pushing the girl forward. She handcuffed my hands to the curtain rod above my head, laughing at how my breath came in short, terrified bursts through the gag. "Maybe this will tell you that your brothers aren't coming to save you…and that you are _ours _now." –**

_Nick stopped again, looking away from all of us, cringing at the memory, pain flashing in his eyes. _

"That's when those fucking bastards raped you…" _Joe repeated Nick's earlier words without a second thought, his eyes reflecting the same hatred, disgust, sorrow and anger that Nick's had._

_Nick nodded. _"After Carter was born, they killed the girl, who was the Boss's daughter. They just murdered without a second thought because she wanted to protect her child. To get her out of there. She wanted Carter safe…and she was killed for it." _Silence answered Nick's words. Everyone was feeling shock at the level of evil these humans possessed. To kill a child was one thing, but to kill a mother for wanting the best for her kid._

"For the next two years, they used her to get to me…I had no choice. I had to race. I had to win. If I didn't win then Carter wouldn't have stood a chance. So I won…and won…and killed…and killed." _Nick bit his tongue and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to stay composed, but he was failing. _"And after those bastards killed her…" _He shook his head and I hugged him tightly, feeling him shake and hearing his sporadic heartbeat and I felt my heart try to match his. _"I ran; they were chasing me, so I ran and I hid and ran again. I got lucky when I made a decent turn and walked right into one of the two rooms were they held all their guns. And over the years, I've learned a few things about guns; how to take out one single strip of metal to make the entire gun useless."

-**_With quick and agile fingers, I destroyed the guns, one by ne, filling my pocket with the metal bits. I came to the last gun and I starred at the tiny thing. It had six shots. It was small enough to conceal from anyone. And as much as I hated the idea, I needed a weapon. My shaking hands reached up and grasped the biting cold metal, hating how it felt in my hand. I could be holding someone's death right now. It took all of my willpower to not fling the thing away from me like I did the cigarettes. I took a deep breath and put the safety on before shoving it down, hoping the waistline of my pants would keep it in place. Hoping that the cold metal would not burn my skin or my soul. Hoping that I would have it in me to use it if I needed too. _**

**_And then I ran again, taking care of where I went, until finally, I found a car. I needed to get away. I needed to run and find my brothers. They found me somehow, so I can find them. Or at least, I can get away…but is there even a point to now that-_**

**_No Nick. Don't think about that right now. Don't be consumed by the pain. Not yet. She would have wanted you to run. So run damn it! My fingers reached under the steering wheel and hotwired the car within moments and I was driving off, too numb from all the pain to notice anything but the road in front of me. _**

**"Stop!" _Stupidly, I slammed on the breaks as a guy ran and stopped in the middle of the road, his gun pointed to the windshield. _"I found him!" _He yelled. _**

**_Run. Get out of here. _**

**_Carter would want you to run._**

**_So I slammed my foot on the gas and clenched my eyes closed, feeling the jerk in the car as it hit the guy and I opened my eyes in time to see him laying behind me, not moving, a pool of blood forming by his head. I didn't even give myself time to register that I had killed a man. I just ran.-_**

"At the time…I didn't feel anything. Everything was so numb…it felt like I wasn't even apart of this world anymore. I didn't feel the pain I knew I should have been feeling…I didn't feel fear-I just ran." _Nick took a long breath and looked to Joe, who seemed to understand something we did not. _

"But the pain came back." _Joe whispered, Nick nodding and looking away, still trying to be strong. _

"It came back." _He repeated, tears finally free falling from his eyes. _"Everything came back." _He clenched his eyes closed and rested his forehead on my shoulder. _"It took all of my willpower to not throw myself in front of a car, to not throw myself off of the cliff face, to not curl up and die because of the pain/ I can't even begin to describe it to you." _But we all understood from the heartbroken agony layering his voice. _"It was pure luck that I found you. I had ditched the car I took and just walked in the rain for about an hour until I came across the hotel…until Joe ran into me." _Nick looked up at Joe who looked down to the floor, a sheepish look on his face. _

"Those men caused you a lot of pain…" _Frankie pressed and I looked over to him, noting how Stella was playing with his hair, tears in her eyes and in Frankie's. _"So why didn't you kill them?"

_Nick sighed and looked away. _"I listened to what I said; I could have chosen to kill them and go through the exact same guilt that I am still trying to get over from when I ran over the third-or I could save you guys from seeing me become a willing murderer." _I starred at him, not making a sound. There was something more to it. _"And I remembered how I felt when it first dawned on me that I killed a man when I had nothing more to lose…I didn't want to go through that again." _I nodded and pulled away from him, sitting next to him and Frankie and curling into his side. _

_Kevin took a long breath before letting it out in a hiss. _"I'm glad you didn't kill them; though they do deserve it." _Joe nodded to his brother's statement and Frankie reached across me and pulled Nick's hand over to him. Nick only watched as Frankie held it tightly, hugging it against his chest. Stella was too far away from him to reach out, but she did smile gently at him, telling him that she loved him in her own way. Nick nodded before turning away. _

_"_Hey Nick?" _Nick turned to Kevin's call. _"When's the last time you checked your blood sugar?"

_Nick thought back before answering. _"Three years-they never trusted me with a needle; they had to torture me somehow…"

"Not what I meant." _Kevin muttered darkly under his breath form this new bit of information. _

_Nick sighed and looked away. _"A few hours ago." _He reached into his back pants pocket and showed Kevin the kit before putting it back. _"I swiped this before I left too." _Kevin nodded, satisfied with his brother's answer and logic. Nick turned his head and looked at the clear road behind him before leaning back and closing his eyes. _"Wake me if something happens."

"Will something happen?" _Stella asked, looking back, paranoia coming into her brown eyes. _

_Nick shrugged, eyes still closed. "_I don't know…but if I learned anything over the years, it's that racer's don't like to lose."

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**Chibiyu: **_Wow my brain died! Anywho, you got insight into Nick's past now. More of a filler chapter…maybe...I don't know. Anyway, I am going to be focusing on my Halloween fics and I may finish them before I update any other story on here. Key word being "may." Until Next Update!_


	15. Just Drive

**Chibiyu: **_Happy Holidays everyone! As you may have noticed by now, my gift to you al is updates on everything!_

**Nick: **_Yes, Holiday cheer is not the same without some Nick torture thrown into the mix. *sigh*_

_DON'T OWN A THING (but the plot and OC's of course)_

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**_Nick shrugged, eyes still closed. "_****I don't know…but if I learned anything over the years, it's that racer's don't like to lose."**

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JOE'S POV

I jumped and turned to Nick at his last words, him cracking open an eye to regard me from the sudden noise and movement. "Wait, what does that mean?"

Nick scowled, the gesture not directed towards me, but to the answer. "I wasn't the only person who had something to lose." I nodded and he closed his eyes again. We didn't talk for the longest time. We passed a total of three small, insignificant towns in a total of four hours before someone bothered speaking again.

"We should switch cars." We all turned and glanced back at Nick, whose eyes were open again. "They know this car. We need to switch out of it now that we managed to distance ourselves from them a bit." He explained but Stella shook her head.

"No, we should find a hideout first." Nick rolled his eyes at her and sighed.

"Stella, they know this car. If it's parked outside our hideout, won't it be obvious where are we staying?" Stella reddened and Nick hid a yawn behind his hand before speaking again. "Pull up anywhere that doesn't seemed to be being watched or crowded." Nick told Kevin, his voice quieter than normal. "Then I can get into the car and start it." Macy turned and looked to Nick, smiling.

"No, I can do it." Nick looked at her both confused and impressed. "How do you think Kev, Stell, Tank and I went unnoticed for so long?" Nick nodded after a moment and turned to stare back out the window. "Are you ok?" He shook his head. "Are you going to tell us why?" He shook his head again. Macy sighed but didn't press him. I continued to stare at Nick, trying to get him to look up but he did not. I knew he felt my gaze but he was ignoring it. I shrugged and turned towards my own window, having a feeling that Nick would tell us later, despite his vow of silence on the subject.

The landscape had long since turned from sand to green as we exited the desert and I found myself starring blankly at the trees. Frankie pointed out an old gas station with three cars in front of it and no one outside. Kevin nodded and pulled in. We all got out of the car, Macy and Kevin getting to work while Stella went inside to distract everyone. Nick nodded once at the easiness of their plan before grabbing my arm and holding me back.

"When was Mary born?" I blinked, confused by the randomness of his question. He didn't look at me; carefully keeping his gaze on the door of the small diner as he awaited my answer.

"October 13th. Why?" I asked and Nick let go of my arm and kicked a stone on the ground.

"Did it hurt when you realized it was her second birthday and she was dead?" I froze at his answer, immediately understanding why Nick was so quiet and closed off right now. I reached over and grabbed his arm, letting him see my own pain that I rarely let out. I let him see how my heart was drowning in the hurricane waters of my unshed tears. I let him see how much this subject hurt.

I nodded. "It hurt. It hurt more than I explain. I could only see her smile, hear her laugh and then it would turn into the night she died. It would turn into me walking back into our room to see her cold, her nose red and blood dried under it. Her laugh would turn into her crying. Her smile would turn into emptiness. It hurt so much because it reminded me that she was dead." I jumped when Nick's hand grabbed my arm as well. "It's her birthday today, isn't it?" I didn't need to see Nick's nod because the answer was in his eyes.

"Does the pain ever go away?" He asked his voice almost too low for me to hear. I wanted to tell him that yes, time does heal these wounds, but I can't lie to him. I won't give him false hope.

"No Nick. It doesn't." I quickly wiped away a tear and he nodded, pulling me into a hug before I could protest. I hugged him back enjoying the comforting warmth. Nick pulled away a moment later and wiped his own eyes before turning and looking to Macy and Kevin. "But at least we're not alone now." Nick nodded and walked over to the two, me following him. Stella walked out of the diner, a flirty smile on her face-I did not know what to think of that. She walked over and dropped the keys into Macy's hand, smiling at her.

"I managed to take them from him without the guy noticing. The power of being a girl I guess." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and Macy rolled her eyes.

"I would have gotten it in one more try!" She said and Stella only rolled her eyes before climbing into the back of the dark blue SUV. "Show-off." Macy mumbled before getting into the driver's seat and Kevin in the passenger's. Frankie walked up behind us and tugged on my sleeve. I looked down to him, Nick turning, his hand freezing on the door handle.

"Why didn't you tell us Joe?" Frankie asked, looking up at me with hurt eyes. "We could have helped."

I looked to Nick but he shrugged, his eyes telling me that I had to figure this out. "What are you talking about Frankie?"

"Mary. I heard you and Nick talking…so why didn't you tell us?" I wanted to look away from my kid brother as the guilt was pushing me away from him, but he was right. I told Nick because he found out on his own and he was going through the same kind of pain I was.

"Get in the car Tank, I will talk when we get to anew hideout." Frankie didn't move. Nick didn't move. "I promise." Frankie looked at me for another second before climbing in, squashing next to Stella in the middle seat. Nick looked to me and grasped my arm again.

"I hope you don't break that promise." And then he left, climbing in and sitting next to Frankie. I sighed as he closed the door and walked slowly over to the other side. Was I really ready to tell everyone about her?

Yes. I was. If Nick could be that strong and tell us, then I can be strong as well.

But there's more to it than just her death, I realized as I sat down and put my seat belt on. They may expect me to tell my whole tale. And for that, I am not ready. If I can drag out not telling them until the day I die, that will still be too soon. They don't need to know. I don't want them to know. I never want them to know.

"Why isn't anyone following us?" Stella asked, looking out the back window. "Nick said-"

"That racers hate losing." Nick finished and he nodded. "They aren't idiots though Stell. They will be back with a plan and we have to be ready when they do come."

"Do you think all the companies that kidnapped you are one of them same." Frankie inquired and Kevin, Nick and I nodded without a moment's hesitation.

"They won't like that we escaped." I told the car's occupants.

"They will try to get us back." Nick put in.

"And they won't stop until we are locked back in their hands." Kevin finished, the girls and Frankie nodding.

"Or until we're dead." Nick whispered to himself but we all heard it. Macy growled and looked out the rearview mirror and glared at Nick. Nick didn't look at her nor did he pay any heed to the rest of our glares. As much as I hated hearing it, Nick was right. I knew how the companies worked, probably better than anyone else in this car or anyone one of those murderers chasing us. They would want us dead or enslaved without a mind or soul. And being dead was worse than the second option. I've seen those poor humans and I never want to become one of them or see one of my friends, or my brothers become so lost and hopeless. I have seen that there were better options than death.

"Drive for an hour and then we can look for a hotel or something." Kevin told Macy, who nodded, still glaring at the road ahead.

"What is your problem Nick?" Nick looked up at her, a confused look on his face. "I know you just lost your daughter, but that doesn't give you permission to almost murder two people and to always bring up the worst in our situation!" Nick looked down, his cheeks reddening and a look of shame overpowering the confusion. "We know that your life has sucked and you have told us that you aren't who we remember, but you're not even trying to be that Nick anymore!" Macy yelled and Nick shifted in his seat. Stella looked at Macy and Nick, confused as Frankie smiled to his hands. Yes, ok this was funny; Nick the hardened racer getting yelled at and being intimated by a girl, but that was no reason to laugh. Especially when that girl is Macy Misa. "Did you give up on the past?"

When Nick spoke, he was addressing his hands which were tightly wrung together. "I did give up on the past Mace." Macy's eyes narrowed as she glanced back at Nick. "But we all have. Nothing will be the same anymore. Yes, we are all together but that means nothing. We can't go back to New Jersey and except the firehouse to be our home anymore just like we can't go back and become ourselves again." Macy opened her mouth to argue but Nick held up his hand and looked at her. "Mace, I want to go back and be who I was before all of this shi-nonsense happened," Nick caught himself and recovered from the almost swear before continuing. "But I can't. None of us can. And to ask us to go back to that…" Nick shook his head and looked out the window. "We want too Mace, I can see in all our eyes, but its impossible."

Macy sighed but her anger did not vanish at Nick's words. "Well maybe I am being selfish for wanting us to be happy and actually a family again. Maybe I am sick of running from everything and hearing all the negativity that is spilling from your mouth!" Nick did not get angered by her words. If anything, he was saddened by them. "Your past sucked, boo-hoo, we get it Nick, but please try and be positive and smile for once!"

"Since we all know he did that so much before." Kevin muttered, causing everyone but Nick and Macy to smirk and cover their chuckles.

"I'm sorry for being sad on my daughter's birthday." Nick replied quietly, leaning his head against the window and looked over to me. "It's fine; you didn't know." Nick told Macy as she opened her mouth, her eyes wide with apology. "And you're right." He didn't say more after that, all of us feeling like he should but he didn't need too. Macy sighed and turned her attention back to the road.

"I really am sorry Nick." She whispered.

"Don't be Mace." He offered her a small smile that just barely touched his eyes. "I forgive you."

Macy nodded and drove the rest of the hour without speaking. Stella and Frankie shared in small conversation about various topics like fashion and latest action movies while Kevin and I just looked at each other, sharing glances every so often. Kevin's worried glance had told me that he expected this kind of tension to arise and I knew that he saw my own worry that this may split us apart again. Just because everything was out in the open or getting out in the open, didn't mean that everything would be alright. We still had struggles to face and these ones may be more scarring than the years spent in Hell.

"Here's a good spot." Kevin told Macy, pointing to a single story motel. We all turned and looked at it and Nick shook his head fiercely.

"Keep driving." He ordered, his voice shaking as Macy passed it. I watched his eyes as they starred at the building and a visible shudder ran through this body as we passed the last room.

"What's wrong?" I asked and Nick bit his lip and muttered something I couldn't catch. "I didn't catch that Nick."

Nick closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them he seemed paler than before. "I remembered something." He whispered, shakily running his fingers through his curls. "I was kept there for three weeks…for the first three weeks we were taken." His hand went to the back of his neck, just above his hairline and his fingers stopped, stroking something unseen. Frankie quickly reached over and with Nick's consent, her pushed the hair back and revealed a wide and puckered scar.

I reached behind Stella and Frankie's necks and ran my fingers over the bump, wincing as I did. Frankie let Nick's curls cover the mark again and Nick looked over to us.

"How?" Frankie asked and Nick shook his head.

"I don't know." He took a shaky breath. "I just remembered being trapped in that damn corner in that motel room." I didn't bother telling him off for swearing. If I were talking about my imprisonment, I would have used 'damn' and a bunch of other colorful words to describe it. To me, this description was tame. "Just…please keep driving Mace."

She nodded. "No use staying where the enemy hides." She dryly commented, the statement was obviously her speaking out loud and not meant to be commented on.

"Pull over Mace, I know a place but I don't know how to give directions to it." Stella said and Macy nodded, pulling over and them both quickly switching. I stretched for a moment before climbing into the cramped car. Macy was sitting next to Nick now and Frankie was next to me. Not that I was complaining about that and Nick didn't seem to bothered by this arrangement either. "You guys won't remember this place but we used to come down here a lot when Nick was a baby." Stella told us, smiling slightly. "I don't know why I remembered it." She pulled the car back on the road and smiled again. "After all, Joe did propose to me there."

"I did not!" I crossed my arms and Stella smirked.

"Relax Joe, we were like five." Stella teased me. "But I still have the little bead ring." I ducked my face in embarrassment at that and she laughed. I looked over to Kevin to see him chuckling behind his hand. Macy was beaming and Nick had a real and taunting smirk on his face. Frankie was only shaking his head but amusement was clear in his eyes. He turned and looked at me, his eyes sparkling mischievously.

"What, now you have like…100 wives and weddings to plan now Joe?" I grumbled, and the car was suddenly full of light chuckles. It was common knowledge that I was said yes to when a fan proposed to me.

"More like 1,000 Tank. If you are gonna tease me, get the facts straight." I joked and I allowed myself to smile and laugh. I was almost as if everything was normal again. But then my reality set back and I let my smile fade. Nothing was normal. They may want to think it is, but everything is different. Everything is chaotic. I'm not sure if laughing right now is the best thing to do, especially when it seems to scream in reminder of the lives we can never again have.

I looked to everyone else, hating the fact that I was the only one thinking logically right now. Kevin was smiling like an idiot and Stella was putting on a show by ranting with fake jealousy. Frankie was shaking his head and wishing that he was born and could have witnessed me proposing to Stella Malone. Nick had his arm around Macy's shoulder and both were sharing a smile. Things looked to be the same as they were. But nothing was the same.

Nothing.

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**Chibiyu: **_Filler. Whatever. Hehe. Only…a lot more to write now! Wheee! Until Next Update!_


	16. Living in Hell

**Chibiyu: **_This chapter has the best recap of last chapter ever._

_I don't own JONAS! _

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**Nothing. **

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JOE'S POV

I had given up on pestering Stella about where we were going. Her answer was always short and I managed to get the state out of it; Colorado. No one seemed to have any objections towards that so we let her drive. She told us that in about three hours we should see it but we didn't trust her with that as Stella was so bad when it came to timing road trips. That was more up Kevin's alley but as he didn't know where were going, it was useless.

Frankie leaned against Macy and Macy pulled away from Nick and hugged him. Nick didn't seem to notice as his dark eyes were far off, not seeing the beige leather seat in front of him as his left hand probed the scar lining the back of his neck. Frustration was clear on his face as he tried and failed to remember what caused such damage to his skin. Kevin was watching him closely, looking for any reaction that Nick may try to hide from us. I was looking down at my palm and tracing the insides of my right middle finger on the side closest to the index finger. My pale left hand fingers skimmed over the skin, stopping with every rough scar that was just barely naked to the human eye. Like Nick, I had my scars but unlike him, I remembered every single one of them.

I stroked the spot with care, my vision going blurry as I allowed my eyes to become unfocused as I starred at the green and hill covered landscape racing by outside. How could one tiny mark hold such a strong and bitter memory? How could, even now, I still feel her nails, digging into my arm, my hand, tearing every bit of flesh on my bones as she could when I pulled her into that blood-stained, Hell infested room? How could her screams still ring in my ears and how could the sudden silence after the storm still haunt my dreams?

"Kevin?" I tore away from my thoughts when Nick's quiet voice spoke up, his eyes pleading as he looked towards our older brother. "Can I please see the gun? I won't fire it or do anything stupid; I swear." Kevin's eyes narrowed but he reached into the glove compartment of the car and it opened with a slight _click_. Kevin held the gun carefully and passed it back, not letting go of it until he was certain that Nick's fingers were miles from the trigger. I guess a swear or a promise means nothing in this world anymore.

We watched Nick quickly take a single bullet from the gun and roll the bronze shell around in his hand. He nodded after a moment and quickly put it back in the metal weapon and handed it back up to Kevin, his hands shaking slightly and his skin a bit paler than before but his eyes were composed.

"Well?" Kevin asked and Macy looked at Nick's neck before pursuing her lips and looking away, pain and disgust clearly shown on her face. Frankie stared at Nick, as if transfixed. Stella looked at the gun with anger. I swallowed, trying to clear the sudden lump in my throat. Only Kevin remained confused.

"He was shot Kevin. That's how he got the scar." I elaborated and Nick nodded, his fingers disappearing in his hair as he again felt the scar.

"9 millimeter." Nick whispered, blinking and looking up to Kevin without moving his head so his pupils dilated in the light and it made him look angrier than we knew he was. "Just grazed my neck but it was deep enough to cause its damage." He said this like he did not want to draw any attention to himself; like he didn't want us to know about his suffering. "But it's in past now; I-we should move on." He didn't want to seem weak. That thought hit me harder than it should have and I reached over two heads and patted Nick on the shoulder, him allowing my fingers to join his in tracing the thick and raised line forever imprinted in the back of neck. But then again, he probably still didn't remember the pain of that night as well as he should-his eyes met mine and I could see the blurry resemblance of recollection but nothing else. He didn't speak of the pain because he didn't know it.

Strength had nothing to be with his method; memory did. And because his memory was spotted and only clear towards the end years of his imprisonment…

He was lucky. Not knowing the pain he as forced to got through. Not knowing it all and remembering every single detail of every life he took or of every bit of blood his body spilled or that he made others spill. He was very lucky to have forgotten; to have spent so much time with his daughter; to not have to be alone when his heart died with her.

Was I jealous of my own brother?

My mind denied the idea but my heart accepted it fully. Didn't I have every right to be jealous of him? He had a beautiful daughter that he actually got to know, unlike me. He wasn't alone to suffer through it like I was. He didn't remember half of the things that happened to him like I did. I knew I should be worried about that, but I can't bring myself to be. I would give anything to forget half of my memories, half of the screams and half of the silence. I would give anything to be in his shoes and him in mine.

Nick turned and met my gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly in question but I continued to glare at him; only because I didn't even know of the reaction. Nick blinked before dropping his gaze and looking away, as if he was trying to figure out what he did wrong. He did everything wrong. He found out a way to shield himself from all this pain without even realizing that he could feel it if he wanted too. I've tried to do that for years and I've only gotten close when I become too numb from the pain in my heart to feel. But I never achieved the reward of forgetting. Never. And he did.

"Joe?" I blinked at looked at Stella, her deep eyes filled with confusion. "Why are you glaring at Nick?"

I titled my head and looked back at my younger brother, seeing him watching me carefully, as if worried he was going to set me off. "I was glaring?" I really had hoped no one would notice my thought line. Nick nodded slowly, still studying me silently. "Sorry Nick; I was just thinking. I didn't mean to glare." I watched him, feeling as if the air was hardening as his intense gaze never left mine. After a few nervous breaths he finally nodded and looked towards Macy. She shrugged as she continued to hold Frankie and Nick sighed, his head turning back to gaze lifelessly out the window.

I had to be more careful next time. They don't need to know about this jealousy. Nick will remember soon and will he does I know I won't be laughing at his pain. He is my little brother; I love him and I feel his pain, just like he has the ability to so easily feel mine. I knew that when he did feel this pain, it would be worse than what it was originally or just as bad, seeing as he pushed it back and out of his head, allowing it to fester without notice. And experiencing something over and over again doesn't mean the pain goes away-I should know. But until he did remember, I would always remain envious of his ignorance. I just have to keep my envy a secret.

"Do we even have a plan?" Frankie asked, out of the blue, startling everyone in the car as we had just sunken back into our own thoughts again and let the silence take hold. "Now that we found Joe and Nick, what's our plan? Run for the rest of our lives? Flee the country? Take down the corporation?"

We all looked at Tank, me noting how the desire for revenge flared in my heart and I was positive that the same thing happened to Nick as his eyes darkened in almost an inhuman way.

"No Nick. No Joe." Kevin whispered, both of us slowly and almost menacingly turning our hate filled gazes towards our eldest brother. He didn't know the pain Nick and I shared. He knew Nick's heart wailed of it but he didn't know that mine flaked into a pile of dust because of it. "We are going to _stay safe_." Nick glared and I felt one forming on my face before I hurriedly rearranged it into what I hoped to be sad agreement. Nick's eyes flicked to me briefly before turning back to Kevin.

"I am _not _going to let those sick bastards get away with _my daughter's _death." He growled daring Kevin to challenge him. Said brother sat up straight and allowed a glare come into his hazel eyes as well but his was not nearly as strong as Nick's. But it was a challenge nonetheless. "You won't win this Kevin." The former pianist hissed and Kevin puffed out his chest and his face adopted and arrogant smirk, knowing it would piss Nick off more. Secretly, I agreed with Nick and with Kevin. I wanted more than anything to find solitude and safety where I could watch the rest of my life waste away but I _needed _the revenge my own daughter deserved.

Kevin leaned forward, over the center console and squeezed in between the two seats so he was closer to Nick; the readiness for a fight in both of their eyes. "I thought you said you weren't going to kill again." Nick rolled his eyes in a mocking way at Kevin's argument.

"When did those words _ever _come out of my mouth?" He whispered lowly, his fingers beginning to claw at the light leather of the seats below him. Macy was quick to grab his hand though as we did not want to damage our get-away. "I said I didn't want you to see me murder and I didn't want to feel the pain of it again. But that doesn't mean and never meant that I won't pull a trigger on the demons that ruined our lives." Kevin's shoulder's shrugged and the anger was lost in his eyes but I knew this tactic; guilt tripping. It seemed to be the only thing that worked on Nick in the past and it may be the only thing that worked on him now.

"What happened to you Nick? Why did you let them change you? You used to never be able to even fathom the thought of violence and now? I don't even know you anymore." Nick's glare lessened a bit at Kevin's soft and hurt filled words but it did not die. The anger only abated slightly because pain wormed its way into his darker than normal orbs.

"Do you think I _like _being like this?" The only one fighting hissed, jabbing himself in the chest with his free hand. "Do you think I'd rather be an asshole compared to what I used to be?" We all starred at the scene, Stella's eyes flicking back once in awhile while she drove, tensing every time a car passed us on the small two-way street. "I don't even know me anymore Kevin!" Nick revealed- his anger turning more towards himself than his brother across from him. "You weren't imprisoned long enough to feel the pain that Joe and I feel. You didn't have anything to protect other than your sorry ass. Hell, you didn't even know anyone's name there. You didn't see any die; much less did you kill them! You will never understand Kevin so you have no right to try and stop me." Nick ranted, nearly steaming from the ears as both his face and eyes started to redden. Both with anger and both with poorly concealed sorrow.

"If I don't have the right to stop you, then what gives you the right to purposefully kill?" Kevin whispered, his face becoming stern again as it set into a scowl. "Do you want to go to Hell?"

"I'm already there!" Nick yelled, losing what little composure he had managed to find. The barriers in his eyes broke loose and anger was quickly joined with a tremendous amount of stress and we all could almost hear the siren's sad song of heartbreak that his heart mourned of. "Or if this isn't Hell then just kill me now because nothing can be worse than this!"

None of us noticed Stella pulling the car over and turning it off. She turned in her seat after unbuckling the tan safety belt silently and starred at the scene, tears lining her brown eyes and her frizzed out hair stuck to her face but she took no notice. Macy had let go of Frankie and her eyes were wide, her hands cupped and covering her heart as she watched the two brothers interact and her hair had long since fallen out of her low ponytail but she didn't care. Frankie was starring at his hands which were placed on his knees, his too long hair effectively covering his eyes from sight. I knew they would be distraught though; I don't need to see his eyes to know what the stiffness in his shoulder's meant. I stared out the window after seeing all their faces, not needing to see the pain in Nick's eyes to know what he was feeling or the shock and hurt in Kevin's.

I knew Nick's pain as my own heart which I had thought long since turned to dust and blown away in the wind had ached at my younger brother's words as I too knew them to be true. But at least I won't be alone in Hell. Is that selfish? Being glad that your brother was damned so you don't have to face the eternal fires and torment of Hell by yourself? I put my cheek against the cold window, not seeing the low down golden sun or the sparse short trees or the mountains in the distance. I didn't see anything of outside; only that which lined my depressed soul. I heard Nick take a shaky breath and I didn't need to look to know his cheeks were set ablaze with the cascade of tears. I heard my own breathing become more ragged and I struggled to keep it silent and under control as I pressed my hand against the car door, wanting to burst out and just run from this car, from Nick, until his words were left in my dust and until I was free of the pain he unintentionally brought back to the surface. I didn't need to be reminded that was damned for my actions. I didn't need to know that I was only facing Hell. I didn't need to know that my suffering was never going to end.

Thank you Nick; for reminding me.

"So this," Kevin whispered and I drew my gaze back, watching him gesture to everyone in the car and to the free world outside of us. "This is Hell to you? Being surrounded by family and being free?" Nick looked away, angling his head towards the window and I bet he was wishing that his curls were long enough to hide his eyes like Frankie was doing. But they weren't; we saw everything going on behind them; the pain, the anger, the sorrow, the depression; the perfect storm of suicide.

"No!" Nick chocked out, his voice more of a whine than that of a fighting racer now and he drew his hands close to his stomach and clenched them together, trying to cover up the fact that they were shaking. "No." He whispered, quieter this time but no more composed. "This," He gestured to everything that Kevin had previously pointed out, "Isn't Hell." He pointed to himself, right to his heart and then to his head. "This is." Macy reached over and put her hand gently on his shoulder but Nick pushed it off roughly before closing his eyes and trying to remember how to breathe without stutter.

"This pain," he continued, his hand going to his heart and clutching at his shirt. "This knowledge that none of it will go away or even get better," He even held my attention now; I was curious if he too suffered like I did or if time really did being to heal wounds. But so far, is words described everything that I still felt about losing Mary. And that brought no hope or light into my life. "Knowing that I will _never _be who I was and that I will always carry this weight…that is Hell Kevin. It's my Hell and I am never going to get out of it. So I don't give a _damn _about going to Hell after I die and I don't _fucking care _about killing those monsters that did to me. To us. I may as well take them down with me."

Stella sighed softly as she took Macy's hands after Kevin withdrew from the center console as if stung.

"Nick?" Stella called but Nick shook his head, angrily wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Let us help you." She pleaded, trying to both talk sense into Nick and comfort her distraught friend. Frankie looked over to me and I instantly pulled him over, hating the look of deaf in his eyes. All he had wanted was for us to be a family again and with Nick talking like this it only made him realize that we could never be a family again. Not when we are being plagued by these emotions, held down by our realizations, and chased by demons. Who can be a family when caught up in all that? It would take a miracle for us to even go back to feeling safe enough to let our guards down. But people in Hell don't get miracles. Nick and I are damned.

We all jumped as Kevin opened his car door and jumped out. We watched him walk around the car, open my door, Stella's door and finally turning around and pulling Nick out of the car. We all walked around to Nick's side, standing on the empty packed dirt road, everyone looking at Nick but Nick avoiding everyone gazes, preferring to stare at his Converse clad feet. I blinked in surprise when I noticed they were the same shoes he wore when he was taken. No wonder they were so beat up and filthy.

"There is a way out of Hell Nick." Both Nick and I slowly looked over to Kevin, wondering if there really was a way for us to be saved from our damnation.

Nick studied Kevin for a second longer before shaking his head slowly, his movements shaky, like he didn't want to get his hopes up. I was too preparing myself for another gust of wind to pick up my heart and carry it away from me; for another disappointment, and pang of the all too familiar pain. "I would have found it already." He mumbled, dropping his gaze again.

Frankie pulled away from me and met Kevin's gaze before nodding carefully, figuring this out before anyone else could.

"There is Nick and you couldn't have found it before because you were surrounded by devils and demons before; people who hurt you and who you were afraid of. But they are gone now; not for good, but at this moment they are." Nick looked at Frankie before looking back to our oldest brother, trying to figure out the answer but he was stuck, just like I was.

"You can't let yourself be dragged down anymore Nick." Kevin simply stated, looking pleading at our brother and I wished I could believe his sincerity but that was easier said than done, especially when the weight of your world was pushing you further into the earth and deeper into the pits of fire just below all of our feet. "You have to let us help you; we pull you out of this Hell and bring you back into Heaven." Nick closed his eyes, not wanting to invest hope into these words just as I didn't want to dwell upon them. I won't be able to be saved. I pray but now I receive no answer. I am lost. And I know Nick isn't too far behind me either.

"Please Nick…let us help." Macy begged and Nick let out a sob, me finally feeling something warm and wet fall from my eyes as well. Nick lifted his head and looked at me, asking me a question I could not read but I did know the heart break in his eye and I sighed, nodding to him. It was time.

"It's not that easy." I said, using my voice for what felt like the first time in hours when really it had only been about twenty minutes. Everyone but Nick looked to me, confusion dotting their eyes. Nick took three steps and was standing next to me, his hand worming into mine and grasping it tightly in a form of encouragement but also comfort. Comfort for me. And for him. "You can't just be saved from the pain and no amount of help will ever stop it. You all never lost something as big as your own daughter; you wouldn't understand."

Stella looked at me oddly, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping open slightly as her hand covered her gasp but the others, minus Nick and Frankie, didn't understand.

"How would you know?" Macy asked gently, not wanting to accuse me or start another fight.

Nick squeezed my hand and glanced at me from the corner of his tear stained eyes and I knew I had to say it. "Because I had a daughter too."

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**Chibiyu: **_I started getting into this about half-way through so I rather like the second half of it. And I dropped a few hints on Joe's past too! Until Next Update! _


	17. Daddy

**Chibiyu: **_I am sorry that the last chapters have been as boring as Hell. I just got an idea for this, one that even threw me for a bit of a loop…we will see how it all works out. _

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**Nick squeezed my hand and glanced at me from the corner of his tear stained eyes and I knew I had to say it. "Because I had a daughter too." **

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JOE'S POV

Shame: the emotion burning at my cheeks when I felt everyone's stares on my bowed head as I hid my eyes behind my too long hair.

"D-daughter?" Stella whispered and I saw her eyes dart to Nick, as if to see his reaction. But of course Nick already knew this story so he looked on, utterly unfazed. "Wait, you knew?" A question of shock directed towards Nick. He nodded slowly but he met no one's gaze but my own. Encouragement. Calming. And Pride. How can he look at me with those eyes?

Easily…he doesn't know what you've done.

"Yeah…daughter." I confirmed, wincing when I heard the sound of my own voice: quiet, detached, dead. I cleared my throat, trying to will some life into me, but it was fruitless. My life was dead with _theirs. _

"Tell them Joe. Tell them exactly what you told me." Nick quietly ordered and I nodded numbly, glancing at him for a second. He did it. I can do it too. I plucked at a loose thread on the plain gray tee I was wearing before running my fingers across the dark gray cloth interior before sighing. I can't delay this any longer.

"Mary." I whispered and they all nodded, knowing that I had always adored that name. "It was under the same circumstance of which Carter was born. A woman, in her twenties maybe, raped me exactly three days into the kidnapping. I didn't know she was pregnant until I was forced into the delivery room." I closed my eyes, trying to not see the image of the blood, of hearing the red hair, dark eyed woman's unmediated screams. I tried to not see the sweat and tears on her face or feel her hard, terrified hold on my hand. I tried not to trace the bruises that have long since faded. I tried not to hear her breath stop or to see a pair of dark eyes, so similar to mine, stare back at me.

"Joe?" I jumped, forgetting that I had been in a crammed SUV driving somewhere in Colorado. I watched Nick give Kevin a reprieving look and he looked down and shook his head.

"Sorry." I whispered before taking a small intake and looking over my shoulder, seeing nothing but a long stretch of dirt road and waves of tall field grass pulsing in the slight wind. "I didn't know the woman but I was sad when she died on the delivery table." I paused again and Stella grabbed my hand gently, smiling at me and I had to reach over and brush a frizzy strand of hair from her face. "And I was skeptical; unable to believe that I was a father…" I trailed off, finding it hard to not get lost in her dark, sweet eyes and in her smile when she first looked upon me. Trying not to get lost in the sorrow that I would never again see those eyes. Or that smile.

"Until you saw her eyes." Nick muttered, and I nodded, feeling his gaze on me and knowing that he understood everything I was saying.

"Until I saw her eyes." I confirmed, forcing a smile but it never reached my blank eyes. "They let me have her and they kept both her and me alive. They didn't use her against me but they did use her. They wanted her to grow up just like they were; cold, heartless murderers. I couldn't allow my baby to be like that." I was aware of how cracked my voice was becoming and how much my eyes were burning form the accumulating moisture that I would not allow to spill. I was aware that my hands were shaking and I was aware that we had just moved into a small town's limits. "I watched her grow and I tried to protect her from their influences. Thank God she wasn't a genius like Carter was or else she may have actually understood how to hold a knife and not drool on it at age one."

That gained no laughter; it shouldn't have. So I just continued.

"She was so innocent, with a little tuft of dark red and brown hair and my eyes on her face." I sighed, my arms unconsciously going to hold her but I turned it into a hug when I remember that she was only a memory now. I felt Stella hug me from the side when a tear slipped down my cheek, unchecked. "I thought she would be safe for another year but then I heard her first word…" I trailed off again, it being too painful for me to say. I looked helplessly over to Nick but he wasn't looking in my direction; his gaze was hidden too. But he felt my eyes on his neck and he sighed.

"Kill." He muttered, shifting so he could loop an arm around Frankie when our youngest brother burrowed himself into the ex-racers side. "Her first word was kill." He elaborated so everyone who didn't know the story didn't think Nick was turning into a psychopath murderer.

"Joe…" Macy whispered but I shook my head, telling the driving brunette to not cut in.

"That was when I knew she wasn't safe. But I couldn't do anything about it; I wouldn't." I shook my head, remembering the numerous thoughts of me killing my daughter to rid the world of another monster but every time I looked at her, I knew I couldn't do it. She was mine. I loved her. I could never kill her. "She got sick one day and they wouldn't allow me to take care of her…said I had to do my job quick in order to get back to her." I closed my eyes, trying to not see with next image. "But I got back too late."

No one said a word. No one seemed to breathe. No seemed able to.

Nick was leaning against the window, eyes closed and a tight grip on Frankie. At least he knew my pain. Frankie was staring at me with wide eyes filled with pity and sorrow. Kevin had turned around in the seat and reached over to put his hand on my shoulder. Stella was still hugging me tightly. Macy, unable to turn away from the road so she just sighed periodically.

"It was terrible." I finished, seeing the blood dried under her nose and the blank stare in my eyes and the blue tint to her lips. She was there; lying still on our shared beds, curled around her stuffed green plush Tyrannosaurus Rex. And she was still warm. If I had been just a minute sooner…

"It's not your fault." I jumped and turned to Nick who was watching me. I shook my head at him and gave him the one expression I knew I could do without fault: a glare. But Nick just stared calmly back, knowing my pain and obviously knowing the blame.

"How about I believe that when you do?" I growled. That did the trick; Nick looked away and refused to meet anyone else's gaze or speak up again.

Stella suddenly pulled away and looked at me. "Wait…what job?" I stiffened. I had let that slip didn't I?

"Not now." I told them with such force that none of them dared to test me.

"Guys, we just turned into Blanco. It's a small town, one hotel. Is that good enough?" We all nodded to Macy, wanting nothing more than to get away from each other's sorrow and just burrow deeper into our own.

I looked out the window, seeing few old style houses and markets before Macy pulled into a really old one story hotel and went in to get us two rooms that we could combine into one. She walked back out moments later and we all trucked out, Kevin catching the keys she threw him. Kevin, Nick, Frankie and I took room number six while the girls took five. The doors were clean and brown and gold numbers shined brightly. The rooms were just the same, brown and plain but clean at least. Two beds, brown comforters. I instantly threw myself on one and Kevin in the other. Nick went directly to the window and peeled back the tan curtains, his eyes darting all around.

"We're alone."

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NICK'S POV

_I've been starring at this damned green and dirt landscape well passed sunset. Something should have happened by now. It shouldn't be this quiet. Those bastards need to show their faces so I can follow them and so I can put a God damned bullet in each of their heads, necks, and balls. Until they face the pain I've faced. Until they think our 'debt' has been repaid in _their _blood. _

_I looked over to me brothers, considering if I should lie down next to Joe or continue standing here. I sighed and ran my fingers gently through Frankie's hair and I watched him burrow closer to Kevin._

_I jumped violently and instantly moved in front of both their beds and crouching low, glaring at the door with all the hate and defense I could muster. I was surprised the door didn't burn from my rage. And I waited. And waited. _

_No one screamed. _

_No one knocked again._

_And footsteps sounded away. _

_I stayed in this position for four minutes before I crept towards the door and looked cautiously out of the peep hole. No one. But I wasn't put off guard. I slowly opened the door and peeked out. No o-_

_What is this? I picked up the black object that was all screen and had a tiny camera on the top of it and closed the door behind me, making sure I had the key in my pocket. I touched the screen, recognizing the video pad instantly. I walked a few steps away from the room and sat on a rock overlooking the empty street. _

_So this was the contact I had been waiting for. At least it didn't show up with a gun._

_I watched the live feed turn on and I looked nervously behind me, hating the feeling of hate that shuddered through my frame when I saw my former boss's face appear on the screen. The same large nose, the same bald head, the same gray eyes. _

"Hello Lucas." _I gritted my teeth and got ready to break this piece of equipment before it could get any worse. _"I have something of yours Lucas…something that will lead you back here, willingly. And you will never look back."

"Will you just cut the shit and tell me why you want me back?" I crossed my arms, staring through the tiny camera and he only laughed.

"In time Lucas. Now I believe you are saddened over the loss of your daughter? Carter, was it?" My knuckles turned white from the force I was using to hold this Pad as the vermin said my angel's name. "Well…" The camera turned and a gasp escaped my lips as tears suddenly crowded in my eyes. It was a miracle the tiny piece of technology stayed in my hands.

"Daddy…"

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**Chibiyu: **_Had this idea about a week ago and it wouldn't leave me alone. So yes, everyone's favorite little girl who you all knew for one chapter is back. She, apparently, was never killed. Thank you brain, for being my own evil villain. Until Next Update! _


	18. Bed of Roses

**Chibiyu: **_Sorry in the delay guys. Life got crazy. _

_DON'T OWN JONAS_

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**"Daddy…" **

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_I stared at the screen, my hand unconsciously touching it, as if wishing I could press through the screen and touch her face; to make sure she was real; to make sure this all wasn't a dream. But as I stared into her dark eyes and watched the longing and pain flare in them, I knew it was real. My Carter, my baby, my daughter, was alive. _

"Baby," _I breathed out, ignoring how my eyes stung with falling tears. I wanted nothing more than to reach over and hug her close, wiping away her teas and to tell her that everything would be ok. But I can't do that. Not at this distance apart. _"Are you ok?" _I watched her nod slowly, me taking in her bruised face and the cast on her right arm, going from her shoulder to her wrist. _

"I'm ok daddy." _She whispered, bringing her left hand up and pressing it against the screen so it looked like her hand was touching mine. And I wished with all my heart that it actually was. _

_My boss spoke again but I didn't dare divert my attention to his big ugly nose; I didn't want my daughter to vanish again. _"Lucas, if you want to see her again, you will get in the car that will be there in 3.2 minutes. You will drive away from your brothers and never look back. You brought in money kid and I am feeling the need to buy another personal thing for my collection." _Or in other words: another concubine for his ego. _

"Let me speak to my daughter alone and then you will have your answer." _I told him, my eyes never leaving my baby's face as I made a mental map of the discolorations and scrapes. _

"Alright. You have two minutes." _I watched Carter turn and glare at the man until the click of the door sounded clearly through the static-free video feed. _

"Daddy, don't do it." _Carter urged me, telling to face the camera as she made her eyes plead with mine. _"I want you to be happy."

"But I need you to be safe." _I responded, removing my hand so I could better see her plain cast and the gray brick of the wall behind her. _"How did you even live?" _I had to know. I had to know why I was forced to believe my baby was dead. I had to know why she was allowed to survive. I had to know why I killed for nothing. _

_Carter took her tiny hand down as well, but it strayed into her hair as she played with the curls in a nervous manner. _"They hit me hard Daddy but they didn't want me to die. They knew where to hit me so I wouldn't die. They wanted to teach you a lesson." _She then smiled suddenly, looking up at me with pride in her too-broken eyes. _"But you taught them a lesson daddy. Don't screw with Nick Lucas." _But I didn't smile at that. _

"So now it's their turn to teach?" _I hazarded a guess and my daughter nodded, too knowing and too wise for her own good. I sighed and ran my hand tiredly over my face, hearing the purr of an all too familiar engine coming my way. _"I'm coming Carter. I'm not losing you ever again."

"But Daddy-"

"No." _I cut her off with such finality that she just sighed and remained silent. "_I need you Carter. I'm not happy here without you. I love you and you always come first. Even before my brothers, your uncles, eve before myself. Don't try to change that." 

_She nodded and pressed her fingers to the screen again and I was quick to match hers. _"I won't. I love you too Daddy. I missed you."

"I did too baby." _I heard a winning laugh in the background and Carter gave me a warning look when she saw the anger spike in my eyes and tense frame. _

"Looks like I have my answer. Take the video pad with you Lucas, but nothing else. Leave nothing for your brothers to follow. It's time for you to permanently disappear." _I nearly screamed when the screen went black and Carter's face vanished from my sight. I didn't want her to be gone. I needed to see her, to make sure that she would be ok from now on; I had to protect her. Even if I had to sell my soul, I would protect her. I won't go through this pain again. I won't let her get hurt and I won't let her die. _

_I can't. _

"Lucas." _I looked up and sighed, standing slowly and shuffling my feet towards the gold painted racecar. Sting pushed open the front door from where he sat and I blinked as the glare reflected off of the sand like design and hit my face. The burgundy letters were the only reprieve from the glare the car gave off whenever driving. It would be a smart racing strategy but it blinded Sting most of the time as well. I slid into his car, quietly closing the door before sighing as I felt the familiar cold touch of a gun hit the back of my neck. _

"These aren't the ones you fixed Lucas." _I heard Fields laugh and I only sighed. I turned to look at Sting, not surprised when his hazel eyes met mine, sympathy flooding into them. He had a son, young enough to be innocent but old enough to be in danger. He knew my pain, my decision. And he chose to befriend me and I him. It's just easier knowing that you are not alone. I watched Sting's buzz cut blonde hair shine for a moment before turn back and staring deadly out the window. _

"You guys got far." _Sting commented and I nodded. _"You would have gotten away too." _I fingered my dog-tag at his words, curious by what he meant. _"They are tracking you Lucas." _I blinked and looked at him. He lifted one hand from the steering wheel and pointed to my dog-tag. _"If you would have stayed with your brothers then you would have all been killing tonight. Including Carter." _At her name, my head snapped up and I was staring at the senior driver, the question burning on my lips but I felt no need to speak it. _"She's ok. A bit shaken up and hurting but fine. I'm sorry Lucas. I really am."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." _I muttered, turning away from the twenty-four year old and trying my best to ignore the hiss of insults coming from behind me. But it was hard as I wanted to turn around and break his scrawny neck for what he did to my angel. But I knew that if I so much looked at him, I would have a bullet in my neck and Carter would be an orphan. I couldn't let that happen so I restrained myself by digging my fingers into my arms. The pain and the action allowed me to image my arm as his neck and my pain being his. That was enough placate me for awhile. But until I got a hold of my daughter, the risk of me killing myself or himself. _

"We have a long drive ahead of us Lucas. You best hope your brothers and those girls don't follow us or I send the message to kill your daughter." _I bite my tongue until I felt blood and dug my fingers into my skin until I couldn't feel the pain. _

"They won't." _I whispered, holding back the list of colorful insults by biting into my tongue again. _

"They'd better not. Or else this will be a bigger deal than it needs to be." _My eyes flitted over to Sting and he nodded, confirming my unspoken thought. _

"The deal never constituted death." _I slowly spoke, keeping my eyes on the rearview mirror and watching Fields expression shift from amusement to a glare. _

_But then he shrugged and I watched the tattoos covering his head stretch as he wiggled his brow. _"It doesn't matter really. The deal was never held up on your family's end. SO we get to do whatever we want to you. That was the deal. And your mother failed." _I gritted my teeth, having heard this story one too many times. Thankfully, he didn't go on. _"Good times. To think, she would put the lives of her unborn sons on the line for such a thing." _It wasn't 'such a thing.' It was never 'such a thing.' She tried to do what I was doing for Carter; protect the ones she loved. But it's hard, neigh impossible, to protect from the devil himself. I can't be mad at her. Not when I understand why she what she did. _

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FFRANKIE'S POV

I rolled over, groaning lightly as the covers slid off me and the cold air hit me. I pried open my eyes, not surprised to see it dark outside as only the moon light filtered through the old velvet curtains. I sat up, knowing that I wouldn't be able to just lie back down and fall asleep again. It was too quiet. I heard the quiet breaths of my brothers but I needed more noise. Maybe, if Nick was still awake – as I vaguely remember him keeping watch – he would sing to me to fill the silence. I looked around, seeing no one standing by the window or sitting against the wall. I looked over to the other bed and frowned when I only saw Joe curled up with his back to us.

"Nick?" I quietly called but I received no answer. Maybe Macy and Stella knew. I slowly got out of bed,, shivering as the cold carpet his my toes. I felt my way around Joe's bed and opened the wooden door connecting our room to the girls' and stopped dead when it was only them. I ran to the outside, opening it quickly. But no one was there. Our car was though. "Nick?" I called again, slightly louder but only crickets and met my cry.

"Frankie?" I looked behind me, surprised to see that it was Joe sitting up and staring at me, his eyes squinting to try and see me in this faint light. "What's wrong?"

I ran into the room and threw a pillow at Kevin before ducking into the girl's room and shaking them. Soon, the room was filled with four very tired and confused people. Everyone was looking around, the only absence easily noticed.

"Where's Nick?"

"I don't know!" I nearly yelled, grabbing at Kevin's bag and pulling out his flashlight. "We need to look around." I tossed on my shoes, hearing the others do the same.

"Wait," I turned at Stella's command, watching her draw her green windbreaker tighter around her. "What if Nick just took a walk?"

Even Joe rolled his eyes. "In this kind of danger? Nick isn't dumb Stell." He whispered standing and walking out the door. I followed him, feeling the anxiety radiating from him. I shined my light down at my feet, frowning when Joe veered off to check the car and the footsteps in front of us continued. I followed them until my feet hit a rock and I frowned. Nick sat here. I looked and followed the footsteps to the road and froze when car tracks appeared. I shined the thin beam of light down the road, seeing through the sand particles to see the car turning and heading back the way it came. The way we fled from.

And Nick was in that car.

"Guys!" I yelled, all of them running over to me and I told them my findings. "Pack your bags and Macy, start the car. We can follow the tracks and we follow Nick." I told them, Stella and Joe running off to throw all of the unpacked items back.

"Any idea what car Tank?" Kevin whispered, kneeling down next to me and watching me touch the sand drive and measuring the tire width with my hands.

"A race car. These tires aren't normal car tires." I replied standing and walking to the road. I scowled at the cement but I knew that once the town limits ended, the sand began again. If I was right, and with a lot of luck, I could pick up the tracks again when concrete changed to dirt.

"Can you really track them?" Kevin asked and I sighed, shrugging.

"I can try." I stood and brushed off me knees before turning and getting into the passenger seat of the blue SUV. Joe and Stella threw the three small bags into the back and climbed in. I turned and saw money had been left on the nightstand of the room and the the key as well. Macy pulled out and followed the direction of my finger.

"Why would Nick leave?" She asked but none of us had the answer. "Maybe this is a trap?" She spoke again and the silence turned uneasy.

"If it is, then we have to go no matter what. We won't turn our back on Nick." Kevin threw in and we all nodded.

"Macy, drive until the road isn't cement and stop so I can read the tracks."

"On it Frankie!" Joe watched the practiced exchange curiously. His thought line was clearly 'so this was how they found us.' "How far do you think they've gone?" I looked at my watch, seeing it was about 11 pm. We got to the hotel at seven. We all fell asleep at 8. "They have about a three hour or less, of a lead."

"That's enough time to get across the border." I mused and Macy nodded. "So we have to go back. This can't be good. And this also means that Nick wouldn't go back on his own."

"So he was taken." Joe mused, finally speaking but I shook my head.

"His footsteps were not dragged and there weren't any others. He did this willingly." I revealed, everyone but Macy turning to me. "But why; that is the million dollar question."

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_CARTER'S POV_

_ I paced the small hidden cell, watching the fireflies lazily fly around from the holes leading to the outside world. This prison was in plain sight and blended in perfectly to the mountains, cliff-filled area. It was inside a rock. A rock filled with tiny holes so light could filter through the stone and so the prisoners could go crazy to the smell of the desert wind. I sat so I could easily see part of the moon through one of the holes and sighed. I knew if I screamed I would either end up dead or go unheard so I didn't even bother. _

_But on another note, Daddy was foolishly coming. He should have stayed safe but we all had known that Daddy would never leave me. And I am glad that he cares so much but I wish he would give some of that care to himself. I don't want Daddy to be miserable. I don't want Daddy to be hurt. I miss his smile and I miss his happy songs. I hate these people for taking my Daddy's happiness and forcing him to turn into one of them. But I knew my Daddy. I knew that he was different from them. He could still care. He can still love. That is something these racers will never understand. _

_I crossed my arms and hugged myself tightly, trying to keep out the cold and try to not cry out from loneliness and pain. I really wish I had my Daddy right now. I miss him hugging me close and whispering into my hair. I missed him rocking me to sleep or cuddling up with me when I had a nightmare. I missed him coming back to our room after every race and making sure I was ok even though he was the broken one. I missed him so much. And seeing him again on the video screen only ampl…amplif…amplified that loneliness. Thank goodness I remember that word. _

_Wait…is that …footsteps. People are coming this way. Is it Daddy? I scooted so my back hit the rock and I waited. Sure enough, the door slide soundlessly opened and someone was forced inside. I heard laughter before the door was sealed. I stood, watching as Daddy lifted his head, squinting to try and get used to the lack of light. But he instantly saw me and we both froze, our gazes unable to look away. _

"Carter." _He breathed and in a second, I was tackling him and getting pulled to his chest. I felt him shaking as he ran his fingers through my hair before burying his face into it. I felt his tears but I knew he felt mine too. _

"Daddy." _I whispered, clinging to him tighter as I cuddled as close as I could to him. Hearing his heart beat, steady against my own and feeling the warmth and love radiating from him was enough reassurance for me to know that he was here and he wasn't leaving. I felt him pull away and I let him go, knowing that I would be settled in his arms again soon enough. I felt his hands gently ran over my face and I watched his eyes dart everywhere. _"I'm ok Daddy." _I told him, reaching out and pushing a stray curl from his face. He held my gaze for a second longer before nodding. _

_I pulled him over to the wall and he leaned back, opening his arms and letting me sit on his lap and curl up against his chest. I burrowed into him so my head was comfortably under his chin and I smiled when his arms fell into place around me. _

"I love you sweetie." _He whispered, his voice sounding far off and filled with indescribable joy and pain. _"I promise that I won't leave you again. I _will _keep you safe." _He vowed, kissing the top of my head gently and I looked up to him, him instantly looking down to meet my gaze. I saw his sorrow and his heartbreak for leaving his brothers but I saw the love easily outweigh all of his pain. I leaned into his touch when he pushed my hair behind my ears and I smiled small at him. _

"I love you too Daddy. And I trust you to keep me safe." _I looked away at that, settling back against him. _"I just wish you could be happy." _I didn't look up when he looked down and I didn't move when he stiffened. _"I know Daddy. You are happy because you have me but you aren't _happy." Only then did I look up to him and once he met my eyes, the words of denial left him. _"I'm sorry you aren't happy."

"I will be. Once we're both free." _He whispered, his thumb caressing the tiny back of my hand. _"Once you're safe."

"But what about you being safe?" _I asked, curious about what went on in my Daddy's head. _

_Daddy sighed and shook his head. I watched him look up and I followed his gaze to the small hole at the ceiling. We both saw fireflies drift lazily above, mimicking the stars with their feeble light. _"I won't be safe until all this is over Carter."

"But why Daddy?" _I felt him breathe deeply a few times before looking down. _

"Because my mom made a bad decision when she was engaged to my dad. These people forced her into taking this route, into dooming my brothers and I. She didn't really have a choice." _He explained and I nodded. _

"But everyone has a choice Daddy." _I whispered, drawing a flower on the back of his hand with my finger. _

"She was in the same situation I am in babe. She is standing between her freedom and the ones she loves, blocking one path from a gun." _I let my head fall back against his chest and allowed my eyes to drift closed. I understood now. Kind of. _

"Sing to me Daddy?" _I felt him nod and rest his cheek on top of my head. _

_"_Well I'm so far away the step that I take's on my way home  
A king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night  
To see through this pay phone  
Still I run out of time or it's hard to get through  
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to  
You I'll just close my eyes, whisper baby blind love is true

Now as you close your eyes  
Know I'll be thinking about you  
While my mistress she calls me to stand in her spotlight again  
Tonight I won't be alone  
But you know that don't mean I'm not lonely  
I've got nothing to prove for it's you that I'd die to defend

I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses  
For tonight I'll sleep on a bed of nails  
I wanna be just as close as your Holy Ghost is  
And lay you down  
On a bed of roses"

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**Chibiyu: **_Hope that wasn't too boring for you all. The last song is "Bed of Roses" By Bon Jovi. Until Next Update (in which action comes in play again). _


	19. A Toddler's Cry

**Chibiyu: **_And now he's all alone again, nowhere to go to one to turn too…_

**Nick: **_Without a home, without a friend, without a face to say hello too…_

**Chibiyu: **_And now the night is near; now he can make believe I'm not here…haha_

_I don't own Jonas people. _

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**_"_And lay you down  
On a bed of roses"**

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_MACY'S POV_

_We finally had a stroke of luck; something that has been missing from our life for about three years now. Whoever took Nick made the track easy enough to follow. So Kevin drove, Frankie stuck his head out of the window, much like a dog would, and kept his keen eyes pasted on the tracks and informed Kevin of every time the ones we were following got into the other lane to pass a car and every time they turned. Stella was keeping a constant eye out the back window, watching for any potential pursuers – they took Nick; we may be next. And Joe just watched everything unfold, in awe at how easily our system worked. Me? I was cracking my knuckles and neck, my blood burning from both anger and the feeling of an approaching fight. _

_We were lucky too, as the people or person whom Nick left with took almost the exact same path we did to get here. So we knew the landscape more than we would have if they had gone the other way, thus giving us a slight advantage on places to hide. And Stells still seemed to know the area, even if we never reached the destination she had had in mind for us; her uncle's old cottage. _

"Pull over." _We all looked over to Frankie at his command, afraid that he has lost the trail or that it had been covered. Or fake. Kevin did so, pulling over to the side of the road and kicking up dust, the sunrise casting bloodied shadow over the sandy landscape. We all got out of the car and watched Frankie kneel by the road and point off into the sand. We followed the shifting tracks and narrowed our eyes, trying to see as far as we could into the boulder dotted desert. But we could only see as far as the mountain's foothills, which were a good few miles away. _"They went this way."

"There ain't no stopping here, folks." _We all jumped and looked up to see a scruffy, tanned man, leaning against his rusted green pick-up truck. Kevin walked around and shook the man's hand, explaining how we only stopped to stretch our legs as we've been driving for about three hours now. _"Is that right? You lookin fer something?"

"No, not really." _I smiled to the man, receiving a grin back. _"We just needed a little fresh air." _The man nodded and walked over to me, looking over into the desert, exactly where we had been looking. I watched his eyes narrow and his smile fade into a scowl as he eyes the tires tracks near our feet. I saw the way his fingers curled into a fist and I saw how he tensed. _

_I moved quickly, ducking down and kicking his feet out from under him before I grabbed his hands and forced them behind his back. He coughed, turning his wisp-covered scalp and spitting out some dir he had inhaled from the shock of falling. _

"Macy! What are you doing? _Stella yelled and Frankie looked horrified as well. Joe walked over and knelt in front of the man, squinting his eyes before glaring. _

"I know you."

_The man cackled lightly and didn't bother to try to struggle for his freedom. _"How is my little murderer today?" _He laughed and Joe stood suddenly, kicking sand in the man's face from the movement. His face was one of pure rage and agony but he quickly shook it off and scoffed. _

"Better now that I know you're going to give me information." _Joe whispered and the man just sighed. _

"You never did learn, Joseph; even when I was teachin' ya. The condemned don't generally talk."

_It was my turn to growl and I pushed his face into the already burning sand. _"Well, the condemned never met me." _The man looked at me through his beady gray eyes in a wary manner and his shoulder's relaxed when they saw the steely determination my own eyes held. _

"I suppose ya wanna follow those tracks and find yer brother?" _He guessed, causing us all to blink. He rolled over, me still managing to hold onto him, but one hand slipped from my grasp. But instead of striking me, he pointed to the foothills in the distance, the landscape already hazing from the light f the sun. _"Follow the tracks is a path to yer death but also a path to him." _He laughed and I slowly got off of him, knowing he had more to say from his cheeky grin. _"I am only tellin' ya this because I don't to deal with getting yer blood off my hands."

"You always were a lazy son of a bitch." _Joe growled lowly and Kevin's eyes flitted back over to Joe, full of questions and a hint of distrust. But why would he distrust his own brother? He can't believe the 'murderer' comment, can he?_

_The man just shrugged and leaned against his truck, the side of his face quite red from where I had pushed it into the sand. _"Why do the work when it can be done fer me?" _He inquired, laughing a short, bark-like laugh before opening his car door and sitting behind the wheel. _"Follow the tracks, find yer brother, and die, or ya can drive off into the horizon, free. They got enough benefits with Lucas anyway so they aught ta be leavin ya five alone fer a long while."

"Why?" _Stella asked and the man looked to her, winking and Joe growled in warning, putting his hands protectively on her shoulders. Though I had missed seeing emotion on Joe's face, this anger was almost as bad as the nothingness; I'm not sure which face was scarier to see. _

_The man rolled his eyes and patted the dashboard of his truck, a poof of dust coming up with the slap. _"Lucas is the money maker. Kevin was the fun. And Joe was our little helper." _All eyes flicked to Joe and the short haired brother set his jaw, refusing to look at any of us. _"But we don't need Joe or Kevin; we only want the money – we only want Nick." _The man paused and looked back to the now risen sun. _"Fer now."

_He pulled out into the road and waved to us before heading back towards the town we had just left. _

"Joe?" _Frankie whispered but Joe shook his head and got into the car, still avoiding all of our gazes. _"Joe, talk to us."

"Nick first." _Came his short-fused reply. We all looked into each others worried filled and fear coated faces before nodding. He was right; Nick was first as he was in more immediate danger than we were. Then once he was safe again, and yelled at for leaving, we would get answers from Joe. I won't let this be forgotten. If Joe really was what that guy had said, then I stand to my words before: I don't want to travel with a murderer unless I know his reason for his actions. _

_Was Joe's reason his daughter? His life? His brothers lives? _

_What would make that man's words be true? Was he really a killer? _

_I shook my head and got into the car, Kevin promptly driving off. Frankie opened the dashboard and dropped something cold and heavy into my lap. I swallowed and opened my window slightly, readying the gun with shaking hands. I hope I don't have to use this. I never did like the way a trigger felt under my finger. But if I had to pull it, I won't hesitate to do so. I just probably won't kill. Aim to incapacitate; never to kill – my new motto for fights like the one ahead of us. I will not turn into the scum that stole our lives. I will not kill. _

_The sandy was bumpy and Kevin had to drive slower than preferred but we got there soon enough. The sun seemed to burn our skin through the windows and the AC hummed at full blast, trying to tame the Arizona heat. But it was fighting a losing battle. _

"Stop." _Frankie whispered and Kevin did as told. He jumped lightly form the car, all of us on his tail, and walked carefully through the sand. I was never more thankful for our jeans and shoes as they protected us from its burning caress. Frankie stopped when the tracks seemed to have been sunken in more than the ones behind us. _"They stopped here." _He walked off, following the dotted heel prints, which lead to a large boulder. He touched the rock, all of us following his example and we all pulled back, the heat from the rough surface scorching our hands. _

"Why would they stop?" _Kevin yelled as the dry wind picked up for a moment and blew sand into our eyes. _

"Guys?" _Joe was standing on his tip-toes, inspecting the rock closely. _"Come here." _I was the first one over and I gasped. Joe was looking into a tiny hole in the rock. And when I looked, a pair of very familiar eyes stared back. _

"Carter!" _I screamed and I heard the girl shyly whisper a greeting. Suddenly the pieces fell into place. Nick left for his daughter. She was never killed. Somehow, she was here and alive and of course Nick would come back for her; any parent would. But where is he? _"Sweetie, where's your dad?"

_She looked away for a second and shook her head. _"Gone." _Her voice was pained, like she knew that somewhere, Nick was hurting too. I need to get her out of here before they come for her too. _

"Is there a door?" _I asked and she nodded, pointing over to where Frankie stood. Kevin walked over, and pushed on the rock. _

"You got to pull it." _Came a small reply and Kevin nodded, grabbing his jacket and putting it between his hands and the rock. He grabbed and pulled, the door coming out easily and sliding to the slide. I expected the girl to walk out but when I walked around, she was still sitting in the middle of the little oven that was her cell. _"I can't leave." _She whispered and Frankie suddenly jumped and ran off to the car, Stella on his tail. _

"Why?" _I asked and Joe stepped into the small area, looking around before kneeling in front of the worried three year old. _

"She has a tracker in her neck." _Joe whispered and Carter nodded sadly, looking at Joe with doe eyes until he opened his arms and allowed her to hug him tightly. _

"You're my uncle, aren't you?" _She asked, sounding happy that she knew this. Joe nodded a smile of his own appearing. _"You came for Daddy?"

"And you." _He told her pulling away and holding her hands. _

_Carter's head dropped and she pulled away from Joe. _"I can't go. So Daddy won't go." _Her fingers touched a small scar in the shadow casted by her chin. _"He won't leave me." _She sounded a bit disappointed at that fact. _"He cares too much about my safety and happiness that he doesn't care about his own." _She explained her tone before any of us asked. I smiled, seeing the resemblance between her and her father instantly as she tugged on her curls with saddened eyes. _

"You dad loves you very much." _Kevin whispered, walking into the room and introducing himself to her, even though she already knew their names. _"And we do too. We are going to get both of you out of here."

"How?" _She asked, looking towards Kevin with an inkling of hope that came with the innocence of being young. _

_Frankie walked into the room, his laptop firmly in his grip. Carter watched him intently as he sat down and brought the computer to life. His eyes shot to her neck and Carter lifted her head so he could see the scar. Frankie grimaced and Carter resumed her staring. _

"You're my uncle too, aren't you?" _She asked her brow furrowing as she looked at Frankie. _"You're Frankie. Daddy told me that he regretted not being there to watch you grow." _Frankie nodded, his eyes starting to water from her words but he didn't left his head. The small room was soon filled with the sound of his fingers flying across the keyboard. _"One wrong letter and the chip shocks me until I'm dead." _Carter told him, Frankie's fingers pausing for a moment as he took a deep breath. But he continued on. _

"Hacking?" _Joe guessed, peering over his youngest brother's shoulder, his tone akin to impressed. Frankie nodded. _"Wow."

"How else do you think I found Nick and got us the tickets to his race? That website I was on, wasn't exactly legal." _Frankie asked, his voice sounding breathless, almost as if he had just run a great distance. His eyes were glued to the screen, watching every sequence of numbers and letters that came up and typing an appropriate response. What was gibberish to us was an open book to him. He would have made a good spy. _"I'm in." _He whispered, carefully moving his finger across the mouse pad and scrolling over various coded sequences. _

_Carter stood and sat next to him, pointing to the one on the far left. _"That one is 'kill.'" _Her finger moved to the next of the four. _"This one is trace. This one is disable. This last one is a warning shock." _Frankie nodded, his mouse instantly going to the 'kill' one and he clicked it without hesitation. Carter froze when she was able to absorb his actions. And she gasped when she saw the red words flash once and turn green on Frankie's screen. _

"It's disabled." _He explained, smiling at the shocked girl. _"They always make the most lethally labeled one the right one to hit." _Carter blinked a few times but nodded, taking Frankie's hand as he pulled her up. Kevin scooped her into his arms and brought her outside, all of us following back into the sea of sand. _"Where did they take Nick?"

_Carter lifted her arm and pointed over to a small cluster of boulders, not too far off but far enough to be out of earshot. _"I heard them walking over there and I watched them through a hole. Please help my Daddy."

_I took the gun out from my waistband and took of the safety, Carter watching my every movement with trusting eyes. _"We will, sweetie. I promise." _We were about to walk off when Carter struggled to of Kevin's grip and ran back over to the right side of the rock. We watched her fearlessly touch the deep brown stone and slide a part of it away. She reached in and smiled grimly when she pulled out her hand. In it was a gun similar to the one Macy held. She held it out and Joe gingerly took it away from her, readying it like Macy had hers. _

"Is there anything you don't know?" _Stella asked the little girl, amazed by her observation skills. _

_Carter nodded and looked over to the cluster of rocks again. _"How to stop this."

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FIELD'S POV

This was the best part about the boss's plan: the punishments. I stood back, admiring my handiwork and rather proud of how the flames looked on the car I had just carved into Lucas's back with the tip of my knife. I held out my hand, Sting putting the foul smelling rag into it and I pressed it to the bleeding wound. The boy yelled out through his gag and he tried to shy away from me, but it's hard to get away when your hands are tied to the boulder in front of you.

I chuckled when I again, pressed the knife to his back, on his left side and a little under his ribs. I carefully pushed the tip in deep enough to cause scaring and pulled it down, repeating the process until the word "Champion" shone out in red blood. I took the bucket of pure alcohol from Sting and dumped it down the boys back, causing him to gasp out and I nodded happily at the sound of his muffled screams and pathetic whimpers. Sting however, winced every time a fresh drop of blood stained the sand. I watched the wounds instantly bubble and scab up and Lucas slumped against the rocks, breathing heavily.

"Just gotta wait for the boss's final decision with what to do with you and then you are home-free Lucas." I taunted, hitting the back of his head so his forehead scraped against the rock face. "I want to know if we can keep you, or kill you."

Lucas defiantly lifted his head and glared weakly at me but I could only laugh at him. He was ours and he knew it. As long as Carter had that chip in her neck and it worked, he was ours. I watched him turn to face the rock again, his shoulder shaking slightly as he tried not to cry from the pain I caused him. He lifted his face to the sky, looking at the top of the rock but I didn't bother looking as I knew I would be blinded by the sun.

"What should I make next?" I asked Sting who didn't answer me. "I think a dead girl will make a nice center piece." I raised the knife again and three crow cries were heard, the bird in question circling overhead as it smelled Lucas's blood. But he wasn't yours bird, he was ours. The boy looked back down as the heated metal touched his back. But something was different about his posture; he seemed to be more relaxed yet I could see the anticipation riddling his shirtless frame. Interesting. I wonder what is going on in his head.

And a body seemed to fall from the sky, landing on me heavily. I stumbled into the boy, his screaming echoing loudly through the fabric gag and my hand let go of the knife, only to find it impaled into his back. But I stumbled away from him as the thing on my head started hitting me. I spun around, throwing off my assailant and blinking in surprise when I saw that it was the brat's kid. How did she get out?

"Sting!" I yelled, but the coward was already back in his car, hands in the air and yelling that he was Nick's friend. Who the hell _is_ Nick? I looked towards Lucas, feeling like an idiot when I realized that that was the boy's first name. You tend to forget these things after a while of calling him something different. "Fine, you coward!"

I spun around, only to be pushed back by something grazing my arm. I yelped out from the sudden flare of pain and I raised my gaze to see on of Lucas's brother's standing tall, his gun aimed at me. His eyes telling me that next time, he won't miss.

And I believed him.

So I didn't move.

I just watched a blonde run over as the taller brother with curly hair untied Lucas and as Carter ran into a petite brunette's arms and watched through her tears. Lucas's oldest brother held him tightly as the blonde accessed the damage. I saw her wince when she gently ran over his newest scabs and I saw her blanch when she saw the knife in his lower right hand side. Even from here, I heard Lucas's pained and harbored breaths; I heard his fear. And I couldn't help but smile.

"How is he?" The one pointing his gun at me asked and the blonde shook her head, not saying anything in response. I strained my ears when I heard Lucas start to talk slowly.

"K-Kevin." He called, the one holding him nodding frantically. "It's bad, isn't it?" The former racer whispered and his brother – Kevin – nodded again. "You'll take care of her right? Make her happy and keep her safe?" Kevin's eyes watered and again, he nodded.

"But it's not going to come to that, Nick." He finally spoke, lifting his brother's head carefully and studying his eyes intently. "You're going to be fine. You and Carter. Once we get out of here, we are free. Carter is no longer being traced." The kid nodded slowly before ripping his dog-tag from his neck and tossing it away. No one questioned his action and no one went to retrieve the bit of metal.

"This is going to hurt, but I need to do this Nick; it can't wait and I don't think it will do anymore damage." The blonde told him and Lucas turned his head, looking at the girl with trust in his eyes. I watched a boy, about thirteen by the looks of him – the lengthy limbs and the cracking voice as he let out gasping breaths through his tears – walked over and handed the blonde what looked like a first aide kit. She opened it and Kevin pushed over the second bucket of alcohol I had been planning to use. I watched the girl pull out a long strip of gauze and gently clean the skin around the knife before grasping the handle.

"On three." She whispered and Lucas nodded, clutching onto his brother for dear life. "I'm sorry I don't have anything to help, Nick." He nodded again, signaling it was ok. "Be strong for Carter." I barely heard her whisper and I looked towards the girl sobbing into the other girl's shoulder. "Three." I looked just in time to see the blonde yank my knife from the boys back and I winced when he howled, Kevin's shirt doing little to muffle it. Tears fell from his eyes when the blonde swiftly cleaned the wound, watching it scab over before covering it. "I don't know the extent of the damage; this is all I can do right now."

Kevin held onto his brother tightly as Nick breaths came in uneven bursts and tears poured from his eyes. All from pain. All caused by me.

"D-daddy?" The little brat whispered and Lucas forced his head up and he looked at his daughter before slowly pulling himself away from his older brother and opening his arms. The girl instantly bolted into him, taking care when she jumped into his arms and making sure she didn't touch his back. She put her hand over her dad's heart and looked up, worried. But her dad forced a smile back and kissed her head gently, hugging her as best as he could through his haze of pain that misted over his eyes.

"We should go." The one pointing the gun said and everyone nodded. The brunette walked over and gently touched Lucas's face, him leaning into the bit of comfort. She then picked up his daughter as the smallest brother picked up the first aide kit with the blonde. I watched Kevin gently lift his brother, though Lucas protested, and five out o the six made their way back to their car. The last one to go was the one who kept me lying on the sand, getting burns on my exposed hands. He backed up until he was out of sight, and then he bolted, getting to his car in record speed. But they weren't the only ones with a car.

I stood and got into Sting's car, carefully applying pressure to the shallow graze. "Follow them and kill them; or your son dies."

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JOE'S POV

I watched Nick carefully as he leaned against the car door, his arms hugging himself tightly and his fingers dug into his side. He didn't take Cater. He didn't look away from the pursing car. He didn't try to calm his pained and panicked breathing.

"I need to drive…" He murmured and we all knew it was true but he was in no condition to drive. I doubted if he could even see clearly through the pain he must be in. I wanted to reach over and try and comfort him, but I was occupied with the three year old in my lap. She was crying still, looking at her father, her fingers hidden resting on his still exposed side. _"_Stell…where's the knife?" He whispered and Stella hesitated before giving it to him. She watched anxiously from my other side as Nick held the weapon, his eyes going back to the ones chasing us.

"Daddy?" Carter whispered and he turned, taking off his seatbelt and wincing a bit from the movement. His eyes met hers and he took a sharp intake when Kevin's tires hit the road with a bump, his fingers holding tighter onto the door handle, as if gripping something tightly would make his agony go away. But he forced his watering eyes opened and stared at his daughter. He leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead, whispering something to her but I heard every word as she was cuddled up in my lap.

"I'm keeping my promise. Be happy and safe and listen to your uncles. I love you, Carter."

Carter screamed when Nick flung himself out of the car, becoming the only thing standing in between them and us.

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**Chibiyu: **_Wow that was longer than I thought it would be. Anywho, I am extremely excited for get to next chapter as I can finally center it around Joe again. Until Next Update! _


	20. Deter Their Plan

**Chibiyu: **_I'm just going to tell you right here, right now. _

**Nick: **_Don't believe her. _

**Chibiyu: **_Shush. I was just going to say-_

**Nick: **_LALALALA NOT LISTENING!_

_DON'T OWN JONAS_

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**Carter screamed when Nick flung himself out of the car, becoming the only thing standing in between them and us. **

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_NICK'S POV_

_What possessed me to throw myself out of the car? My friends? No. My brothers? No. The look of fear on my daughter's face? Hell yes. _

_That fear was never going to go away unless I stopped this. I knew we would never get away. I knew they would catch us. I knew I had to give them what they wanted. _

_So I acted. _

_And it never hurt more. _

_The ground met my shoulder as hard as I knew it would as sadly, this wouldn't be the first time I threw myself out of a speeding car. Only before, it was to escape. Not to confront the ones who made my life, and my daughter's life Hell. But I never could have imagined the searing burn of the scabs on my back getting torn off and I could have never thought that blood could flow so quickly. I hissed out when I stopped rolling and gasped when I peeled myself from the sand and bits of rock. But I can't let this pain stop me. _

_I won't. _

_So I slowly stood, stumbling a step back as I kneeled over. But my head was forced up, and the knife was clenched tightly in my bloodied hand. This pain won't stop me. So I stood straight, knowing everyone in the stopping car behind me saw the state my back must be in. But, for once, my eyes weren't on my loved ones, but on the devil I hated. I would have liked to see the shocked worry in Sting's eyes as he stopped the car. I would have liked to have heard my brothers scream my name and their tires spin as they tried to skid to a stop. I would have liked to feel anything in my heart. _

_But I could barely see two feet in front of me; the darkness around my eyes was closing in and everything was blurred from the pain. I could only hear the blood thundering through my ears. I could only feel the receding burn of the pain as it blotted out everything but my determination to save my daughter. And then it hit me. _

_I'm dying. _

_I closed my eyes for a second and took a shaky and short breath. _

_So be it. _

_I forced them open and watched a shape I knew to be Fields step out of the car._

_I don't know what spurred my next actions. I don't know how I got the strength. I don't know anything anymore. All I know is that my arm snapped back and suddenly forced it forward. I didn't hear everyone but Sting scream. I didn't see my most hated foe fall to the sand, a knife in his neck, dead. I didn't see Sting running out of his car. I only saw the sand meeting my hands and I only felt it burning against the grain in my hand._

_I felt a hand push me into a sitting position and I managed to pry open my eyes when I felt the cold touch of metal biting against my temple. Sting stood over me and I stared into his eyes, not seeing them but I knew this couldn't be right. He was my friend. And now…_

"Don't do this." _I whispered, my voice barely a breathless whisper but surprisingly composed. _"Together…you and I can save him." _I muttered, looking into his eyes and forcing my eyes to focus on his and I saw the hesitation before he slid out of focus again. _"I got out. I can help you and him."

"No." _I closed my eyes, not able to keep them open any longer. But the metal left. _"You did it, so it's possible for me and my son." _He paused and I felt him shift, the sun blinding me behind closed lids. _"You have a daughter to look after and to keep safe. I can do this on my own." _I looked at him through barely open eyes and forced my lips into a smile, happy that the pain had morphed into a numbing cold sensation. _"Thank you. And you'd better live for her." _I closed my eyes again and nodded weakly. But I knew that in the end, I wouldn't have a say. _

"Nick!" _I didn't have the strength to acknowledge the call. _"Do something!" _I felt someone else grab me and hold my tightly. Kevin. I felt sand get kicked on my exposed skin as Sting ran away and I felt it sink when he came back, just seconds later. _

"Nick?" _I nodded slowly, thinking only that Carter was here, somewhere, watching. She needed to know that I was alive right now. And I needed to show her. _"Can you open your eyes?" _I pried them open but I didn't see Kevin's shirt and I didn't feel his heartbeat which should have been under my hand. _"Keep them open, ok?" _I nodded again, knowing it would take all my strength to do that simple task. _"Ok, I am going to use alcohol to clean it up and stitch up your back." _I didn't bother nodding; I just focused on keeping my eyes open. _

_I felt the slight sting, dulled by the nothing brought on by the numb of whatever I was experiencing. But nothing more. I felt the poke of the needle but I didn't feel the pain. _

"How's he doing?" _I heard Sting asked and I blinked when Joe's face swam into focus. _

"Nick?" _I met his gaze best I could and blinked a few times. _

"I think he's ok." _Joe replied, his hand going on my shoulder. _"You're doing great." _I heard the anxiety in his voice and I heard sobbing. Carter sobbing. My baby. Crying. Over me. And I can't get to her. I can't tell her it's ok. I can't help her. _

_My eyes clenched closed and pain slammed into me. My breaths came in short, terrified, panicked bursts. _

"Whoa!" _Sting yelled as I suddenly squirmed, trying to get away from the pain and to my daughter. _"You need to calm down!" _But I can't and I don't know why. My heart raced faster than it was before and weaker than I preferred. And I thought the pain was over but for it to come out in such enormous bursts was unfathomable to me. It was just a torn back and stitches. It shouldn't hurt like this. _

"Nick." _My eyes had fallen closed and I didn't see Joe's faces as he called to me. I did feel Kevin hold me tighter, keeping me prisoner as Sting continued hurting me and keeping me away from the girl whose heart I was supposed to be protecting, not hurting. _

"Carter, no!" _I pried open my eyes just in time to feel a small, warm thing collide with my chest. I felt her tears burn and stain my skin harsher than any blood could. I felt her arms try to hug me but she couldn't with Sting helping me. But I could her. So I held her tightly, feeling her heart steadily against mine and I focused on it, trying to kill whatever had caused his sudden explosion of fear and pain. I could only kill the fear. But that was enough. Pain, I can stand; it's almost too natural now. But fear was something no one could ever control, no matter how hard you tried. _

_"_Nick, open your eyes." _Kevin ordered me and I did so, even though my face was buried in my daughter's hair. I slowly lifted them to Kevin's blurred face and I wasn't sure if the fogginess was from the terror, the hurt, or the fact that I was dying. _"Thank God." _He breathed out, his nails digging into my shoulders but I barely felt that. The pain was ebbing away again. _

"Don't die, daddy." _Her little voice sounded, which had me holding onto her tighter than I thought I could have. But I offered no words as I couldn't tell her the truth in this situation. I am not in control of that. Not anymore. But I saved her. Somehow. Somehow I saved all of them. And even with the feeling of death's scaled fingers scratching at my soul, I had no regrets. _

"He's not going to die, hun." _I felt Sting's fingers prod my back but no pain was felt; only numb. _"It's done, Nick. No straining yourself though or these stitches won't hold." _I felt myself nod but I didn't really hear his words. I was too busy trying to stay conscious; a harder feat than I would have expected. _

"He lost a lot of blood, by the looks of it." _I imagine everyone was looking at the sand, reddened and clumped in a nasty way. _"But the bleeding is stopped. Don't put any strain on him for the next few days."

"How did you…" _Stella breathed out and I knew she was beside Sting, looking at his handiwork. _

_Sting laughed lightly but it was forced, bark-like, no humor at all. _"I was a doctor before I got caught up in this mess." _I felt him stand. _"Now, we all _have _to go. The boss will send some others to make sure the mission went well. It didn't go well, for them. I suggested you put some distance between them and you."

"Where are you going?" _Macy asked, her hand cold against my arm and one on Carter's shaking head. _

"To save my son." _I felt him run off and I heard a care engine rev before it whipped passed us. _

_I felt Kevin try to get Carter away from me but she didn't budge and I didn't let go. _"Nick, let her go." _I didn't. Kevin sighed but I felt him gingerly warp his arms around both of us. _"You both better not be heavy." _I heard Carter giggle. It was watery, but a laugh nonetheless. I felt Kevin's hands carefully being placed on my bandages and I winced all the same, but Kevin didn't have a choice. Kevin whispered an apology and I felt him lift both of us, Carter's hold on my neck tightening when mine weakened. _

"Daddy?" _She asked her voice no more than a hushed whisper. _

"I'm ok." _I breathed out but I knew I wasn't; not entirely. _

_I felt Kevin set us down in the car seat and Carter clicked the seatbelt in place. But that was it. The next moments were consumed by darkness. _

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_JOE' SPOV_

I got in the back seat, right next to Nick and Carter and Stella was next to me. Macy took the passenger side and Kevin drove. We wanted to waste no time getting out of here. If that racer was right, then we were still in danger. Like that was anything new. Everyone was on danger when I was in the car with them; I could snap at any time. I just hoped I was alone when I did.

I shook my head, wrapping my arm around Nick's shoulder and pulling him over so he was slumped against me and not the cold car door. I looked to Carter who was watching her dad with the saddest eyes I had seen in awhile as she snuggled against his chest and let her arms fall in her lap. She looked at me and I tried to smile at her; tried to give her a shred of comfort but it was had when fear thundered through my own heart.

At first it was for Nick. But now, as selfish as it sounded, it was for myself. I was supposed to keep my past a secret as it would open doors no one would like to go through. But now that villain Anthony left a door wide open, one that would be opened further until I snapped. It was only a matter of time now. But at least Nick provided me with a distraction. Hopefully there would be no talking until he could hear.

And then it hit me.

I had enough time to think of a plan to deter them.

And deter then I would.

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**Chibiyu: **_I am finally turning this back to Joe, no more long and winding side roads. It's going to be all Joe and a little of the others. Yes. Until Next Update! _


	21. Story of a Killer

**Chibiyu: **_I need to vent in the opposite way of venting…more like writing about something I wish I had.  
_**Nick: **_That's new.  
_**Chibiyu: **_Don't get used to it.  
DON'T OWN JONAS …which is best for everyone's sake. _

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**_And deter then I would. _**

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_STELLA'S POV_

This whole situation was nothing less than another cut in my threaded heart. Brothers turned to strangers. Strangers turned to prisoners. Prisoners turned to fathers. Fathers turned to freedom and family, only to turn right back to being strangers.

I looked to Kevin, who looked like he wanted nothing more than to pull the car over and hug his brothers tightly and cry but he couldn't because he had to get them safe. He still felt the responsibility of taking care of his younger brothers – his family – even when he knew that this was out of his hands. Even when he knew that they weren't the same boys he knew three years ago. Those three years turned him determined.

Joe looked like he couldn't even look at his brothers. His eyes never met Frankie's gaze, never drifted towards Kevin or to the one he held tightly. He looked pained, as if caught up in his own heart to notice anything else around him. But determination in his eyes, though I could see it was not for us, but for him. It looked as if he didn't care that his brother was passed out in his arms or that his daughter was crying silently into her father's shirt. The three years and eleven months have made him selfish.

Nick, though dead to the world, was closed off more than I remembered. He was more protective over himself and his daughter and drawn away from everything but her. He didn't want her to get hurt. He didn't want to take any chance to put her in harms way – and I understood that. Macy and I both and I am fairly sure Joe does too but Kevin and Frankie won't until they get maternal instincts or have a kid of their own, especially in this environment. But all the same, the time apart has made Nick secluded.

Frankie, riding behind all of us and looking out the windshield, his dark, worried eyes flicking to everyone in turn, was silent. His hand rested on Carter's tiny shoulder, which was all he could reach as she was buried so deeply into her father's slackened hold. He looked like he wanted to cry but he didn't let any salted rain fall: he just stared on, helping his eldest brother with an extra set of eyes. He let his chin fall, Joe jumping from the sudden weight but that was the only response Frankie received. His eyes met mine and I felt my face drop. These long years have made Frankie old.

And Carter, as she is a little Lucas, has eyes that no three year old should have. But she grew up, watching the pain of others and seeing passed the mask her father put on for her. She experienced things no one, young or old, should experience. She grew up in the darkest chamber of hell, the only light coming from her father's hugs, love and tears. All she has ever known is that pain and hate. And because of this, she pushed Frankie's hand from her shoulder and looked at Joe, studying him with a gaze akin to curiosity and guard. Her small amount of childhood has made her untrusting.

Macy – who in my opinion, would be a Lucas if not for this mess – looked uncertain as to what to do. She never liked leaving things broken and was always the peacemaker and the repair shop. This time around, however, she didn't know how to fix everything broken. A hug would temporarily bandage the wound, but not stem the flow of pain. But she tries harder than she will ever admit and I know that as soon as Nick is better, she will start fixing the brothers. These three years have kept her heart pure.

And me? Well I can't exactly say how I've changed, other than my love of fashion has died when I ran out of people to design for and the skill was useless on the road. Unless for disguises – that was quite handy. And I've become stronger and less arrogant. I no longer push away my feelings and I embrace my love that I have because it can be so fleeting. Look at me and Joe: we were in our prime, almost four years ago, and now, we barely knew each other. Its funny how time and circumstance drives your old self away from you and makes you grow into something new. The three years have made me stronger.

"Any idea where we are going?" Macy's quiet voice pulled everyone out of their thought-induced stupor and Kevin glanced over to her, his mask of strength back on.

"Anywhere safe." He replied, his eyes going back to the horizon.

"A bed would be better than a car." Frankie whispered, his eyes glancing to Nick and Carter before looking back to Kevin. "They wouldn't expect us to stay so close to the scene." Kevin's fingers tightened on the wheel and he shook his head, the hardness in his eyes screaming a louder 'no' than his voice could have.

Carter peeked out from Nick's hold and looked to her young uncle. "It's ok." She murmured, her high-pitched voice carrying well over the hum of the engine. "I'm used to sleeping in odd places." She elaborated. "As long as Daddy is here, then I'm ok." Frankie nodded, running his hand gently through her matted and limp curls before looking to me. I nodded, seeing the same message in Carter's words – she relied heavily upon Nick because she had too. But now that she was safer with us, how would this change?

"Joe." Kevin called and said brother looked up, wiggling his shoulders around a bit before pulling Nick closer to him. "Can you tell us how you knew that man? I am sure we can catch Nick up later." Joe just let his eyes fall to his dirt covered shoes. "Please Joe; this silence is driving me insane."

To that, the middle brother sighed. I touched his arm gently, letting him know that I was here to comfort if the need presented itself.

"He was to me what Fields was to Nick." Joe answered shortly, looking like he'd rather be talking about unicorns than this. We all nodded, familiar with the hate Nick held for the now dead man.

"Would you kill him?" All of us were startled when Carter spoke, her restless eyes on Joe. "Like Daddy killed Fields?" We all blinked, not wanting to remember that Nick – our Nick – was a killer.

And Joe nodded. "First chance I get." Carter blinked, as though surprised that he had told the truth.

"Because you're a killer too." She whispered and Joe's gaze dropped down to hers.

"No." He said with defiance in his voice. Carter's eyes narrowed to dangerous slits as she detected something we did not in Joe's voice. "People who do that are scum and bastards who don't deserve a life of their own. I don't go around killing people like they do."

Carter growled lowly, her fingers gripping her father's arms tightly. "Like Daddy does?" Joe blanched at those words, not having thought his rant through.

But he set his jaw and nodded. "Like Nick does. But it's different."

"Why?" Joe looked ready to jump out of the car and scream from Carter's questions. "Because he is your brother? Or because he did it to save himself and to protect me?" Joe sighed and nodded but the three year old wasn't done. "Why did you kill in the past Joe? He wouldn't call you a 'little murderer' for nothing."

Joe opened his mouth and shut it rapidly, looking like a fish gasping for water. Surprise and panic was in his eyes. And then something fell into place: Joe wanted to divert us from this topic anyway he could. He didn't expect Carter to do what she is doing – to be so much like her father. He had been gone from Nick and Kevin so long that he had forgotten how persistent they can be.

"Answer her, Joe." Kevin ordered in a small voice, as though he was afraid to hear it himself. "Was it your daughter?"

"Couldn't be." A new voice came into the conversation and Carter smiling happily when her dad pried open his eyes and looked blearily over up to his brother.

"She died too early on." Frankie elaborated, moving so he was leaning a bit on Nick's shoulders so he would have a better view of Joe's face.

"So then what?" I asked, making my voice as gentle as possible and my fingers moved to touch his face. "Joe, you can talk to us."

Joe shook his head and pulled away form all of us, letting Nick go and causing Frankie, who still had a good portion of weight on him, to tumble forward before he caught himself. "I'm not talking about it."

Carter scooted as far away from Joe as she could while still staying in her dad's arms. Nick looked down at her from the movement and she looked up into his pale face, sending him a lost message with her untrusting eyes. He sighed and leaned back, thinking hard.

"Answer this then, Joe." He finally whispered, his eyes falling closed again but we knew he was still awake. "Did you kill?"

Carter shifted so she was looking straight into Joe's face. Macy turned in her seat to look. Kevin glanced into the rearview mirror. Frankie stayed put and I looked to Nick's daughter, knowing that she would be the first to know if he was lying or not. Joe tensed from all our gazes but refused to lift his eyes from the sand covered floor or to straighten his back so he wasn't hunched over himself.

"N…" Carter hissed lowly from the start of the word, and Nick gently placed a hand over her mouth and shook his head, his eyes still shut. She quieted and Joe sighed knowing that the damage was done and everyone knew that if Joe said 'no' then he would be lying. But I still needed to hear it to believe it. "Yes."

"Willingly?" Kevin quickly followed and Joe let his head float up so he was staring blankly at the windshield.

"No." Carter was silent from this answer. "But it wasn't for any sacrifice. Not for my daughter after she died, not for any of you as I thought half of you would be dead, but for myself."

"You killed so you wouldn't be?" Carter asked, looking briefly to her dad, whose eyes were now open, and then back to her uncle. Joe nodded. "You did what Daddy did. There is nothing shameful about it." Those were too wise words for one so young.

Joe stiffened and looked to Carter. "It's not like that." He whispered and Cater blinked. "But I'm not going to say anything else. Not right now."

"But Joe – "

"Shut up and drive." He retorted, Kevin looking back to the road, nothing less than surprise on his face from Joe's tone.

_SMACK!_

I glared at Joe, him holding the red spot on his cheek while I held my tingling palm. "We're not the bad guys here, Joe." I spat out. I was the only one who caught his hidden anger and unjustified hate so therefore, I was the only one who acted. "So stop trying to convince yourself that we are." Joe just stared at me with a dumb expression, one that I would have laughed at 4 years ago. "Stop it. We've all had pretty bad breaks these past years, but that is no reason to shut us out and treat us like this!"

I settled back in a huff, letting Joe know that I wasn't going to listen to him babble nonsense right now. With Joe, you had to let the message stick with him for awhile before letting him apologize. Or else he would never learn.

"No." He growled and I had to turn back to him in shock from his harsh tone. "Everyone is the bad guy in this story." Even Carter seemed taken aback by this. "I can't trust anyone and you certainly can't trust me!" We all looked to each other, confused. "Two of us here are murderers!" Nick looked down at that, guilt and shame coating his face as Carter held him tighter and he did her. "And only one regrets it."

Everyone's head swiveled towards Joe, their eyes wide. Nick instinctively pulled Carter closer to him, his eyes actually afraid of his own brother. But Joe wouldn't hurt us, would he?

"That's right! I can kill all of you and I won't feel a thing." Joe announced, looking and sounding quite out of character but the answer to that was staring me in the face: this wasn't our Joe anymore. He tried and acted to be before, but now that the secret is out, he can't. This is who he is now.

Joseph Lucas is a killer.

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**Chibiyu: **_Well that morphed into something extremely different than the planned Cater/Nick love fest. Ah well. And I don't care for spelling issues today so please, just deal with them as I am not in the mood to be try and obtain perfection. Until Next Update! _


	22. Your Daughter

**Chibiyu: **_I bought a few Les Miserable songs, am rereading the 1,222 page book and just watched the 25th O2 show again. I be happy.  
_**Nick: **_So you are writing this because…?  
_**Chibiyu: **_Because I be happy.  
I only wished I owned Les Miserables and Jonas…and Les Miserables. Yes, obsessed I be._

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**Joseph Lucas is a killer. **

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Everyone's eyes widened at my exclamation and I instantly closed my mouth. I hadn't meant to let that slip – they were supposed to remain ignorant to everything. Damn that child: why did she have to be so freaking inquisitive? I blame Nick. I looked at Carter with a small glare and Nick held her closer, pulling her farther from me as she snuggled deeper into his chest. The car was silent, everyone watching me with the same wide-eyed, shocked expression. Now they all knew my secret: they all knew I was a killer.

The car lurched to a stop and Kevin let go of the steering wheel, turning and facing me with disbelief in his eyes. It was like he was looking at a complete stranger and really, he was. If I agreed with Nick on anything, it was that the past changed us so we weren't the kids we were before. And I didn't exactly want to go back to normal. Yes, I wanted to forget everything but I can't and I can't lose this hatred I house. I don't want to lose it either – it's the only thing keeping me going.

"How many?" Stella whispered, my eyes slowly sliding from the young girl shielded in my brothers chest to the blonde. How many what? "How many have you killed?" Oh.

"Too many to remember."

"Too remember or too many to want to remember?"

I looked to the little person again, her shrinking away from the chill in my eyes and I watched Nick tighten his grip on her again and pull her as close to him as possible. "Is there a difference?" My voice cut through the tension, sheer and clear and Macy pushed herself through the center console space and squeezed between Nick and I. Her arms were instantly around my younger brother and his daughter, trying to help in shield Carter from my anger and helping comfort Nick in the fact that his brother was basically attacking his own niece.

"There is." Carter breathed, sounding so sure but small.

"I don't think there is." I muttered, turning away and looking behind me as I heard movement. But Frankie only had pushed himself back and was alternating his gaze from the road behind us to me. Carter's eyes turned to me, the message clear: you thought wrong. "It doesn't matter." I spat at her, watching her familiar eyes fill with fear as she buried her face into her father's shirt. Nick was just staring at me through glazed eyes, blinking as though he was trying to wake up from the nonexistent dream.

"Leave her alone!" Macy ordered pushing my shoulder and Stella scooted against the door so she was farther from me. "She's just a kid Joe! And she is the only one who has the courage to ask and to say what we all need to know! I won't be travelling with a murderer!"

I growled and reached over Stella, throwing open and the door and pushing over her. The heated wind blasted in my face. "Then drive off!" I ordered, watching the occupants stare at me in bewilderment. "I'm a killer and I had no motives! Drive away then!" But Macy and the car didn't budge.

"Joe," Nick called and I looked over to him, trying to hold back everything for his own sake. I may be angry but I didn't want his back to start bleeding from his rise in blood pressure. "Please just talk to us." I rolled my eyes and held back a biting remark. "You've killed, so what?" Nick asked, his own weight of the words added from his own experiences. "It doesn't matter right now. We have to get safe."

"Then why haven't any of us thought to call the police?" I yelled, turning to Kevin who ducked his head. Nick blinked and Carter tilted her head, chancing a glance at me. "They can protect us, can't they?" Kevin opened his mouth but I wasn't done. "Or perhaps they won't protect two murders and child spawned from a slut?"

"Joe!" We all turned to Nick from his outburst and his glare held something I didn't expect to see – sorrow.

"You can't deny that it's true, Nick."

Nick's arms loosened around his daughter and Carter looked at him curiously. "A slut wouldn't give her life to protect her daughter. A slut wouldn't take responsibility for her actions. A slut couldn't love like Carter's mother could." This caught me off guard. Why would Nick defend the woman who raped him?

"Did you love her?" Frankie suddenly asked and Nick's gaze snapped over to him.

"No." He whispered and Carter hung her head, her eyes sad that her mom and dad didn't have feelings for one another. "But she loved our child – that is enough." Carter's face seemed to glow at those words but she didn't raise her head. "But this isn't about me."

Everyone looked back to me but it was Kevin who spoke. "The police were willing to overlook what all of us did these past three years as we needed and were forced to do it."

"When did they tell you that?" I asked, crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes at my oldest brother. "When you called them last or when you talked to them three years ago?" Kevin ducked his head and I looked to Macy. "Pass me his cell phone." She did so and I opened the call list, shaking my head in disgust. "You've already called them? Why didn't you tell us?"

Kevin opened the car door and jumped out, snatching the phone back. "I was going too but then we had to get Nick back!"

"Don't blame daddy!" Carter shouted at the accusatory tone in Kevin's voice. "And stop di…diver…"

"Diverting." Nick inserted and Carter nodded.

"Stop diverting the conversation!" The three year-old finished, sounding too old again for one so young.

I sighed and stomped in the street, dust flying up and making Kevin squint. "I meant every word I said." I told them, referring to my ability to kill them all and feel nothing. To feel nothing but emptiness – nothing but nothing. "So don't cross me."

"So do it." I looked to Macy, who was looking at me with colder eyes than seemed fit on her soft face. "Kill me, Joe." I stared at her, quite taken aback. She smirked and shook her head, settling against Nick and letting him lean on her and rest his head on top of hers. "I knew you haven't changed. All talk and no action."

I shook my head at her. She didn't understand and she never would. I was about to call her out when a voice beat mine. "Was it your job to kill?" I looked to the little insightful menace, wanting to lie and tell her 'no' but I knew that I couldn't a lie passed her. Damn that angelic girl. But then again, she can't reveal anything from a silence.

I rolled my eyes at her and huffed, kicking more dust off the ground.

"Joe, get back in the car." I looked to Frankie and then to the road, sighing and walking back into the small confined prison when I saw the approaching sparkling dot. But I paused in the doorway and pushed myself to of it, deciding to walk to the other side and into the long grass field. I dropped my fly and did some business, hearing the girls exclaim in disgust and my brothers question my motives rather loudly. The car engine became heard and I rocked on the heels of my feet, waiting to see if it was really something to run from.

The purr came closer and slowed behind our car. I looked over my shoulder and gave a toothy grin to the woman as she looked at me with something a kin to amusement. I didn't recognize the gaunt-faced brunette but judging from the gasp coming from the driver's seat, Kevin did. She stepped out of the car and I zipped my fly, turning and giving her a charming smile.

"Hello." I greeted and the woman smirked, obviously thinking that I was a stupid fool. I watched her hand disappear under her long white rain coat and she blinked slowly. During the duration of her blink, I bolted forward and had hooked her hands behind her back, effectively showing the pistol and stopping her from reaching it. "How do you keep finding us?" I hissed into her ear and I felt her stiffen.

"You're Joe, aren't you?"

I nodded and her breath caught in her throat. I gripped both of her hands in one of my and my arm went around her neck. I could fee her terrified pulse on my arm and I squeezed a bit, ignoring the audience I had. "Judging from your increased pulse, you've heard of me." The woman nodded as much as she could with my arm choking her. "So I suggest you answer me."

"It is a secret." The woman bravely told me and I tightened my muscles, slowly but surely having my arm squeezed the life out of her. "I will be killed if I tell."

"And you will if you won't."

She looked at me from the corner of her corrupted hazel eyes and sighed. "Then the secret dies with me." Her eyes went to the occupants in the car and I watched them too. Ten pairs of eyes were on me, all afraid and the youngest had an expression of disappointment and hate in them. "Looks like your niece doesn't like the monster her uncle has become."

"It doesn't matter." I stated strongly, letting go of her neck and swiftly grabbing the pistol and pushing the girl away from me. "You're useless to me. Goodbye." The trigger was pulled. The bang was heard. And the girl went down. I turned back to the shocked occupants in the car and spread my arms. Now they understood that I didn't care. That I couldn't care – not after everything I've been through, seen and done. Not anymore.

And I watched both Stella and Nick run from the car, both dropping to their knees and throwing their guts up into the grass. The only difference was that one had red stains growing on their back. "So the other killer can't take it?" I whispered, not caring for my mocking tone or anything in relation to coldness as I addressed Nick.

"Joe…" I looked to Macy and then to the girl who hid behind her legs and glared at her. "Why?" I rolled my eyes at the green-tinted girl before shaking my head.

"She was a witness to us." I shrugged it off, looking back to her lifeless corpse with spite. "And she hurt Kevin." I looked to the addressed brother, who was looking anywhere but at me. I looked back to the girl trying to hide herself behind a pair of legs and scowled. "Why did you live?" I asked her roughly, Nick's gaze turning to look at me when I addressed his daughter in such a manner. "This is your fault. If you hadn't pried then she wouldn't have caught up to us and everything would have been fine! If you weren't alive then we would all be safe, in a bed, and not being torn up by this!"Carter paled at my words, her eyes filling with tears. "We'd be better off with you dead!"

_WHAM!_

I fell to the ground when a body slammed into me and my hand was scraped on the concrete, the sting causing me to look up at my assailant. Of course it was Nick.

"Don't you _dare _say that!" He yelled, ignoring his own tears coursing down his cheeks and standing as best he could on his shaking legs. I sat up and calmly brushed off my torso.

"It's true, Nicholas. Your daughter has caused nothing b– "

His hand smashed into my cheek and again, I found myself on the ground. I looked back up again, watching Nick go to his knees but his glare was still intact even if his strength wasn't. My eyes traced the pattern of his falling tears and the degree of his shaking fists before sighing. I really shouldn't have pushed him but I didn't want to take back what I said. This world was better off without any Lucas Daughters running around anyway.

"You don't hate me." Carter's quiet voice cut through the heavy silence. "You only resent that I lived when Mary didn't." I turned to her, watching her walk over to us, keeping her distance from me as she latched onto her dad's arm.

"You need to learn to shut up."

A hand grabbed my collar and hauled me to my feet. I was spun around and I came nose-to-nose with a wild looking Kevin. "Joe, caught the shit." He ordered, shaking me a bit. "We aren't the bad guys."

"But I'm a bad guy."

"And we don't deserve this." Kevin went on as if I hadn't cut in. "Macy, Stella, Frankie and I broke you out of that place. Nick has gotten us away from people we would have never been able to out-drive. And Carter is just a kid!"

"We wouldn't need to out-drive anyone if we didn't rescue Nick."

"So you're saying it would have been better without Nick here?" I looked to Macy, who was kneeling next to the said brother. I loved Nick but with him came his daughter and with his daughter came problems. With her, came Mary.

"Yes."

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**Chibiyu: **_Umm…ok. I had no plan for this chapter, it just kind of came out. There is a lot I put into this, unintentionally. Everything 'missed' and 'left out' and the rush of it all was all purposeful to show something more about the Joe without his mask. Think you know what I was showing? Until Next Update!_


	23. Painful Truth

**Chibiyu: **_I unintentionally opened doors to get to the end of the story through last chapter. _

**Nick: **_So it's almost over?_

**Chibiyu: **_We'll see. And this is a quick update, is it not? :P_

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**"So you're saying it would have been better without Nick here?" I looked to Macy, who was kneeling next to the said brother. I loved Nick but with him came his daughter and with his daughter came problems. With her, came Mary. **

**"Yes."**

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"So I'm a burden?" I looked to my younger brother, letting every bit of belief show on my face. If I haven't chosen him, almost four years ago, then none of this would have happened. Stella would have been killed but Nick wouldn't have experienced this and he wouldn't be the root of the problems. There would be no racers. There would be no injuries. There would be no Carter. Speaking of that girl, she was looking at her dad, trying to derive his intentions from his strained face, but judging from her pouted lips, she could not. So some things could get passed her.

"No one other than Joe thinks that Nick." Stella tried to cut in but Nick held up his hand from the ground, stopping her.

"I want to hear this logic," came his short reply. I stared into his hardened eyes. Why would he want to know the reason for my hatred and blame? But I knew that glint in his eye all too well – he would not be deterred. "Tell me Joe," he ordered as his hand encircled his daughters gently but was the gesture for comfort or warning?

"He should keep it to himself."

"Carter, shush." She blinked at her dad's tone and nodded, knowing not to question him. I wish I could do that to her. I wonder how he trained her to do that?

"Talk Joe," Nick whispered, looking at me from where he was squatted, not three feet from me.

I sighed, turning back to fully face Nick so I wouldn't have to see the shame in Kevin's eyes. "No," I told him, deciding to listen to the little kid as it would annoy Nick further. But why was I out to get him? I had nothing against my brother other than it's his fault this brat came into the world and into our lives. Nick pushed himself to his feet, Carter standing with him and doing what her small body could to steady him.

"So if I just left right now, you would be happier?" He questioned, knowing full well that he was in no condition to leave. "If I took Carter and just vanished from your lives, it would please you?" He questioned, taking a step closer to where Kevin and I stood. "Would you be a happy murderer if I was allowed myself to be taken? After all, I'm the only one they want!" He jabbed his finger into my shoulder, more force behind it than I had expected. I stumbled back into Kevin and straightened my shirt before lifting my gaze.

"That's exactly what I am saying." I whispered and Nick sighed, letting go of his daughters hand but she faithfully stayed by his side. "You're the only one they want – they chase us because of you. So it's you who is causing all this shit." I glared at him, carefully controlling my anger, knowing too well that if it boiled behind my control, then I would get stains on my hands. "I don't like you being here."

"Then you leave."

I blinked at the readiness of his answer. "What?"

He looked me square in the eye and I noted the way he seemed to be putting all of his concentration into these next words. "If Carter and I leave then you'll find something to blame in the others. You'll never be happy with us. And everyone but you seems to be willing to take the risk of being a family again over the insane people chasing us. So leave." But I stayed.

"I don't have a problem with anyone else here. Just you."

"No." We all looked to Carter but no one spoke over her or entered the conversation. "Just me."

I nodded down to her. "You're half right. I only can't stand Nick because he brought you into the world and he is bringing the danger." The young girl didn't even flinch at my words but her father's hand did rest on her head. "You're nothing but a princess, aren't you?" She continued to stare at me with those large, uncaring eyes. "A brat who is given everything and who needs to pry into everything; someone who is more annoying than her father." I looked up to Nick, who looked livid but seemed to be holding himself back. "I didn't think that was possible."

"Joe."

I ignored Kevin's warning growl. "But of course no one will bother to tell the princess wrong. I'm the only one who has the guts to see what she is really is! You may think she is an innocent angel, but she damning all of us!" Nick's hand clenched in his daughter's hair. "I bet the tracker is working again and that's how they find us!"

Frankie shook his head at the sidelines, his laptop already open. But I didn't spare him another glance.

"Joe!" Kevin warned again and the girls walked two steps forward, stopping at the glare Nick sent their way. This was between him, his daughter and me. No one was to interfere.

"I bet they follow you." Carter suddenly hissed, her eyes going to slits as she looked at me. This wasn't a child, but a demon spawned from the darkest pit of Hell. "That girl knew you and feared you. Your name is everywhere in their corporation. You are a threat. It's you they follow because they want _you _dead. You're the problem here! Not me and not daddy!" Carter blinked.

And in that blink, the stolen pistol was aimed at her forehead. Fear flitted into her eyes, making them a comical size. And I blinked.

A shoulder slammed into me, Kevin suddenly not behind me. In the shock of the fall, my fingers loosened on the metal death-trap and it was torn from my grip. I hit the ground, already being assaulted with punches that shouldn't have this much power behind them. I gasped out when a knee hit my groin and the gasp was turned to a splutter when a fist knocked into my jaw. And I actually felt the pain. It burned strong, setting off my guard and making me forget to protect myself. I didn't know I was bleeding until I felt liquid run down my cheek from my nose and I didn't know I was whimpering until I slammed my mouth shut and bit my tongue.

My attacker was pulled off of me and I blinked, his screams entering my ears and I winced at the sound. I blinked again, the image of Kevin holding back a struggling Nick swimming into focus from a sting eye and being clear as day with the other. Then I remembered that as we were falling, he managed to scrape right under my eye: the skin must be swelling. I opened my mouth and spat out a glob of blood, looking at my brother with amazement and irritation. The kid can't accept the truth.

I pushed myself up onto my butt and blinked again, hearing the crying of a child and the fluttering hearts of those watching me. I looked over, seeing Carter buried in Frankie's arms, shivering and crying softly into his neck. Frankie was staring at me with pure shock, his arms wrapped protectively around his niece. Heart break was in his eyes: he realized that we can't be the family he wants us to be, not after this. Stella and Macy were clinging onto each other for support and their looked like they were going to be sick. Kevin was struggling to keep Nick from launching himself at me – his arms locked across Nick's torso. Nick looked insane, pain the only feeling in his eyes and tears carved rust lines into his steely face.

"I hate you!" I stared at Nick's lips, not comprehending that Nick had yelled those words. Yelled and meant them. "How could you?" He screamed again, his voice shaking strongly but each syllable was pronounced perfectly.

"Because it's true." I told him, my voice still higher than I would have liked from his unfair blow. "And I hate you too."

Nick's strength died at those words; his shoulders sagging and his legs nearly giving out on him. But the pain didn't leave from his face. He pushed Kevin away and made unsteadily for the car, pushing himself in and taking Carter and Macy with him.

"You ass." I watched the brunette close the car door after those rude two words before I turned back to Kevin.

And my face met another fist.

But this time, it didn't hurt; not even the slightest sting was felt. I turned to face my elder brother and sighed, wiping stray blood from under my nose as I regarded him. "Do you hate me too?" I asked, Kevin choosing not the respond. "Or do you see the truth in it all too?"

"The only truth I see is Carter's." I was not thrown by his reply. In fact, I was expecting it. Only an idiot wouldn't after everything I've done.

"Fair enough." I walked a few paces away from them, feeling oddly like a lawyer when I turned dramatically and faced Kevin again. I chose to look passed the storm of pity, shame, disbelief and anger in his eyes. "Then answer this: where do the police play in all of this?"

Kevin narrowed his eyes at me. "How do you know they aren't on their way?" I shrugged, signifying that I didn't. "I've been taking care of it Joe. I will get all of us safe. We just need to keep running until the police catch up. They've been tracking Frankie's computer to find us – they are the only ones who can." He added when he saw the suspicion on my face. "So don't think for one minute that I betrayed everyone." He looked back to the car but I refused to get side tracked. "You're the only one who has." I blinked, not seeing this coming. I am off my game. "If you _ever _touch Carter or Nick, I will not hesitate to hurt you." I remained silent, not believing the anger behind his tone. "You may be my brother, but we are _not _family."

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MACY'S POV

I stared at the sad sight, tears welling up in my dark eyes and spilling over with practiced strength. Father and daughter clutched each other, tightly folded in one another's embrace as they both cried shamelessly, openly, and silently. The only indication of their tears, other than seeing them fall down their burning cheeks, was the shaking of their shoulders and the stifling gasps as they tried to breathe through their fear and pain.

"He won't get you," Nick breathed into his daughter's hair. "I promise, babe. You're safe. It's ok." Carter nodded against her father's chest but she did not lift her head and show the world her beautiful eyes. I wrapped my arms around them both after a moment, Carter leaning against me readily and burying his head into my neck. My skin was stained with the burns of his tears. My hands landed on his back and I cringed when I felt something cold and wet and sticky but I made no comment and continued to hold him, not wanting to alarm the already distressed little girl.

"Joe's insane," I whispered, my voice almost lost amongst the sorrow. "Neither of you are to blame for this."

"We know," Cater told me, lifting her gaze and meeting mine. My face fell at the terrible look of fear that seemed to be permanently inscribed into the gleam of her eyes. "It's not us – it's him and the bad people." How can she sound so vulnerable and wise at the same time? "B-but…" she trailed off, pressing her face against her father's tear-stained white shirt again.

"But what he did…and said," Nick managed to choke out, shaking his head. My grip tightened on him, realizing that he needed the comfort as much as he needed to give it.

"He doesn't hate you."

"He does," both daughter and father whispered, looking up at me with the exact same expression of tear-soaked discontent. "He hates it that Carter lived and that I have her," Nick went on, Carter looking down and playing with her father's fingers, which used to be wrapped around her hand. I watched him drop his gaze and raise said hand, tenderly wiping off the stray tears on his daughter's cheeks with a gentle expression I have never seen on his face. Carter's tiny hand reached up and grabbed his, pulling it down and hugging it tightly against her chest.

"But its ok: Macy and I still love you daddy." I watched Nick's light up briefly when she called him that and a smaller than small smile worked its way onto his hurting face. Nick loved being a dad – he loved his daughter so much.

"She's right," I softly inserted, touching Nick's cheek and smiling when he leaned into my cold fingers. "I do love you. Same as Stella and Kevin." I watched his head raise and his eyes go to mine. I had to smile from the simple beauty of a smile in eyes that are crying. From the simple beauty that Nick's eyes always had, even now after all the tragedy has twisted his tale. "I still love you." I breathed out and Nick's eyes softened again, his nose brushing mine. "I never stopped."

"Hallelujah."

And then his lips met mine.

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**Chibiyu: **_Uh…Ok. Not only am I unintentionally adding romance, but I changed the ending as well. Oddness! Anywho noticing the differences between Joe's POV and other characters? Until Next Update!  
Edit: CREEPY! This chapter, before this line, was the exact same length as last chapter (according to Word)._


	24. Bleeding Pain

**Chibiyu: **_The world is ending. I actually like the ending I came up with…what is happening to me?_

**Nick: **_You're finally going good?_

**Chibiyu: **_Ha! What insane reality do you live in?_

**Nick: **_Yours. _

_DON'T OWN JONAS!_

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**And then his lips met mine. **

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"I wouldn't mind it if you were my mommy."

We both jumped back, a blush burning on my cheeks as Nick tried to stifle his embarrassed chuckles. Carter just stared at us with innocent eyes and a not so innocent smirk on her face.

"Carter!" Nick choked out, trying to cover his reddened cheeks with his hand over his face.

"What?" The question had no ounce of purity in it what-so-ever. "It's the truth."

"Sometimes you keep the truth to yourself." I told her, smiling widely and feeling like I was going to cry. Nick was lightly banging his forehead on the car door and Carter was giggling at our reactions. Secretly, I was thrilled from her statement as this meant she trusted me and liked me and knew Nick liked me. I thought she would turn away from me because I was taking away time she could be spending with her father. But it was the opposite. I shook my head and pulled Nick's head away from the door, putting it on my shoulder as I started laughing lightly.

"You're a hand full." Nick told his daughter, his cheeks still pink. Carter smiled up to him and stuck her tongue out before taking my hand and putting it in his. "And apparently a match-maker." The joke was lost on the three year old but I ducked my head, laughing lightly and shaking my head. "But Carter does know best…" The child laughed and Nick tilted his head up and towards me. I took the hint and leaned in, drawing him into a gentle kiss.

"Ew!" But this time, we didn't pull apart at Carter's reaction: we just smiled against each others lips and reveled in the feeling of lost love renewed.

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STELLA'S POV

I pushed Joe roughly in the shoulder, as though hoping such a blow would knock him back into his past self. This was not our Joe; it couldn't be. Our Joe wouldn't say these things or act as he had. So who was this man standing in front of me?

"I'm fine with not being in your family." The unknown man spat out and I shook my head, trying to get him to turn his glare away from Kevin and onto me.

"Who are you?" I asked him, effectively earning his glare and his confusion. _"_You're not Joe." The long haired male rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He was clearly asking me: _then who am I? _"You're no one I've met before and you're the kind of person I want to avoid!" He blinked at my words, surprise briefly flitting across his face before dissolving into nothing. "You're not the person I fell in love with all those years ago! That Joe wouldn't yell at his brother, kill, or even think about holding a gun!"

"To quote Nick: 'I'm not the brother you remember.'" I shook my head ad hit Joe's shoulder again, not even getting as much as an 'ow.'

"What happened to that brother?" I questioned, pushing Kevin away as I got right up into Joe's face. "Did he die with all the people he killed?"

Anger flashed in Joe's face but I didn't back down."You've crossed a line."

"And you haven't?" I shrieked, pointing towards the car, unaware that I had interrupted something between my best friend and Nick. "Or is everything you've done in the past twenty minutes suddenly alright?" Joe blinked again, not able to come up with a viable response. "What kind of a world do you live in that makes anything like that alright?"

"This insane one." Came his rather cold and detached reply. "Trust me Stella, if it could be any other way than I would make it be that other way!"

"It can be." I snarled, my voice having dropped significantly. "But you have to make an effort to change yourself first."

Joe's eyes widened as he processed what I said and I watched his fists clench. He threw a quick glance to everyone around us: Frankie scowling with tears residing unshed in his shamed eyes, Kevin looking thoroughly shocked at Joe and mine's heated debate, and we couldn't see anything through the car's tinted windows but somehow, I knew the inhabitants were watching. And I knew Joe knew too as he frowned at the car and shook his head before looking back to me.

"I've already changed too much. The one thing that has been somewhat constant in these three, almost four years, is who I am – and I'm not going to change again!" He yelled, his face going from pale to red in a matter of moments. "I've changed to become what I could to stay alive and I won't change again because frankly, it's working! I'm still alive aren't I?" I didn't say anything. "Aren't I?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Are you really?" I asked and Joe's face fell as he studied my face. "Is killing others and bringing them down staying alive to you? Is making them cry and hate you keeping you alive? Or is your plan to kill others before they can you?" Joe blinked. "That might have worked when you were locked in that prison, Joseph, but here with us, no one wants to hurt you: you're doing this to yourself."

"And you've changed already." We all turned to Frankie who was looking intently at Joe with a gaze we all normally saw on Nick's face. "You've went from fearful, to protective, to closed off, to downright mean in a matter of days. You've changed Joe – whether you will admit it or not."

Joe grit his teeth and turned a hardened gaze to his younger brother. "Have I changed or did I just let down my guard and let you see what I've been hiding from all of you?" He challenged and Frankie pursed his lips, having no come back. I was about to open my mouth and hope a comeback would come when the car door opened and Carter hopped out. She ran over and hide behind Kevin's legs, staring coldly back at Joe.

"Carter, what's wrong?" Cater made a disgusted face before giggling and hiding her face. "Sweetie, why did you come out?" I cooed, loving how cute this little girl was. Carter stuck her tongue at me and I rolled my eyes.

"What are the symptoms of blood loss?" She randomly asked, having a knack for changing the subject just like her father did. For soon reason, everyone looked to Kevin. He shrugged and everyone looked to me.

"Just because I'm a girl, doesn't mean I'm a nurse!" I told them, putting my hands in the air.

"But you've given blood a ton of times." Frankie inserted and I looked towards the youngest Lucas and nodded.

"True." I thought back. "They always told me to be careful of dizziness and fainting is common too…and I always felt nauseous afterwards." I looked down to the tiny girl and smiled to her. "Are you watching out for your daddy?" She nodded, smiling to me but not making any move to go back to the car. "He will be fine after a good night sleep." I told her and she nodded again.

She looked back at Joe and walked back over to the car. "You've changed – you were just too scared to show it." How can a girl go from being so angelic and sweet to a genius like that? And with that, she climbed back into the car and presumable back into Nick's lap.

"That girl is a menace." Joe muttered and I hit him, hard, in the shoulder.

"She's your niece!" I reminded him, pushing him back again. "She wants to get to know you and love you and all you do is insult her!" I hissed, glowering in rage. "Just because your own daughter died doesn't mean you have to treat Carter like this!"

"Stop!" Joe shouted and I did stop, cutting off in mid-rant. "Don't you _dare_ talk about her!" I blinked, taking a step back from Joe's furious face. His pupils were dilated, his cheeks red, his eye brows slanted in a steep glare and his nose was flared. "You know nothing! You will never know anything!"

"Joe…I…"

"No!" He cut me off, leaving me with an open mouth. "You lose a daughter and watch Nicholas have his! You go through what I have! And then you can talk! But you haven't! You don't know anything! So _shut up._" We were all stunned speechless by Joe's outburst, not expecting these words or to see tears starting to flow feely down his cheeks. My heart broke for him, but he still had to make things right.

"We know you're hurting Joe." I whispered, reaching out and touching his shoulder, lightly this time. "But that's no reason to take it out on your family." Joe pulled away from me but I was relentless. "It has to be hard to see Carter every day and to see Nick have what was taken from you, but you have to be happy for Nick too. For a few days, he lost his daughter, just like you did. He knows the pain and he can help you." I whispered, putting my hand on Joe's arm. "But he is not going too if you keep treating his daughter like this."

"I don't want his help."

"No, but you need it." Joe's eyes rose towards mine, his mouth curling into a sneer but I covered it with my own hand. "You know I'm right." Joe said nothing as he turned away from me and crossed his arms, glancing to the car periodically. "Change is a good thing Joe. If not for change then you would still be in that place."

"If not for change then this wouldn't have happened." Bitterness covered Joe's tone as he kicked up the dirt.

"That's true," I whispered softly. "But sometimes things happen for a reason."

"So my mom screwed our lives for a reason?"

Silence followed the middle Lucas brother's statement. Sandy Lucas caused this? It seemed preposterous! Sandy would never have done anything to hurt her family. Unless this was before she had one.

"What do you mean?" Kevin finally asked and Joe looked towards the car again.

"Nick probably knows the story better than I do." The bitter tone was still there as he spoke about his younger sibling. "But I suppose he's too busy right now." I got the feeling 'busy' wasn't Joe's first choice in words. All of us rolled our eyes but held our tongues, wanting Joe to just tell us already. "When Mom was 19, she had a boyfriend." As most girls that age do. "That guy is the boss of this entire thing."

Kevin and Frankie exchanged glances while I kept my gaze on Joe. "Was a deal made or did Sandy break his heart?" I asked and Joe sent me a glare that clearly said: _don't interrupt._

"Both." He ended up answering. "They went out for three years before mom met dad." We all nodded, knowing from Sandy and Tom that is was love at first sight with them. "But before Mom broke up with him, he asked her to marry him. She said no." I pursed my lips, not understand how that would start all of this. "He was angry and said she owed his something for wasting three years of his life." Joe's eyes went to Kevin, to his own hands, and then to himself.

"Us." Kevin whispered. Joe nodded.

"Three sons for three years – that was appropriate payment for him once he found out that Sandy Lucas had three sons…three _famous _sons." Joe whispered, looking off into the horizon. "But at the time he said it; Mom refused and said she owed him nothing." Joe shook his head. "She walked away from him, convinced that she would be safe. But unknown to everyone, years later, all of this would happen."

Frankie looked up, pain in his eyes. "But he killed Mom. Why would he still want revenge?"

"People can be cruel." I whispered, my eyes going to the corpse of the dead girl and all of us in turn. When I reached Joe, my gaze stayed though his wavered. "Now are you going to stop being cruel and get back in that car?" I gently asked and Joe scowled, biting his tongue before taking a breath and nodding. He had calmed down during his little story but I still knew the anger was there, boiling just below the surface. Once Nick was stronger, he and Joe were not going to be best friends anymore.

I wonder how everyone will take that transition.

I shook my head and walked back into the car, opening the backseat next to Macy and farthest from Nick and Carter. Joe gave me a look before climbing in and scooting farthest from the three as he could. I opened the passenger seat and let Frankie side inside before I hopped into the back. I wanted to keep Joe in line and I seemed to be the only one who could do it. It made sense though: I always did have a way with scaring Joe into doing things.

Macy was glaring at the said brother, Carter tucked neatly in her lap while Nick was leaning on his shoulder, eyes closed.

"How is he?" I asked quietly, unsure if he was sleeping or not.

Macy sighed and ran hr fingers through Carter's hair. "He said he was feeling dizzy a little while ago so Carter and I bullied him into getting some sleep."

I reached over Macy's head and gave the little girl a high-five. "Girl power." I laughed, getting a smile out of the worried daughter's face.

Macy turned and looked at Joe with a face of utmost discontent. Joe shrank away from her a bit more and I glared at him too. I knew that if Joe wanted to get to Nick, he would have to get through Macy and Carter first. Kevin started the car and pulled off the side of the road, his phone pressed to his ear as he listened, but did not speak even though I could hear a deep voice coming through. Frankie was looking at him oddly and Kevin tossed him the phone, Frankie setting out to text out a reply. I didn't bother to question their motives.

"Look Macy…" Joe started but Macy cut him off with her hand in the air.

"Talk to me after I've lost the urge to smack you." With that, she turned away and held Carter closer, talking to her quietly. Joe looked at me, the look of anger lost and looking utterly shocked that Macy _did not _hit him but gave him a warning. I had to duck my face to hide a smirk. But truth be told, I was just as surprised as Joe.

"Will that urge ever be gone?" Joe dared ask and Macy looked at him, studying him up and down before pursing her lips.

"We'll see."

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**Chibiyu: **_I'm getting close to the end of this fic. I'm thinking five-six more chapters including the epilogue. Until Next Update! _


	25. My Time

**Chibiyu: **_So…you all surprised that I am ending this story so soon?_

**Nick: **_I'm surprised about the ending actually. _

**Chibiyu: **_Yeah, you would be. _

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**"Will that urge ever be gone?" Joe dared ask and Macy looked at him, studying him up and down before pursing her lips. **

**"We'll see." **

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Kevin's PoV

How did it come to this?

I glanced over to see Frankie shifting in his seat, his eyes downcast and shining with tears he didn't want to cry. All he had wanted was to go back to a normal life – a happier one – and Joe shot that dream down in a matter of seconds. He was shamed by his own wants. Even my youngest brother knew that things would never be the same; that it was hopeless to pray for a regular future.

I looked back in the rear view mirror, unable to not sigh sadly at how older Nick has become. He was 17 when he was taken and 21 now but he looked twice his age. A frown would always be accompanying the wrinkles of worry. I guess being a young father in such an environment did that to someone.

Carter was playing quietly with her fingers, lifting her gaze every few seconds to observe everyone in the car. Her eyes raised mine and I smiled lightly before turning back to the front. No three year old should have seen, heard and experienced what she did. Nick did his best to protect her, but it wasn't nearly enough.

Macy, who was out cold, her head on top of Nick's, was scowling in her sleep. She used to be so happy and go lucky but now it was rare for her to do anything but scowl and glare. Everything was life or death to her now – there was no trophy at the end or records to break, only lives to save. And because of that, she lost her love of playing the game.

Stella was watching the young girl on Macy's lap, playing with her unruly hair gently. Carter reached up and smacked her hand away, glaring at Stella slightly. The blonde looked stunned before stifling a laugh and explaining to the girl that her father did the same thing. Carter smiled a little when Stella told her that she was truly her father's daughter. Stella ducked her head and blushed when Carter asked if she could call her 'Aunt Stella.' At least one person was happy.

I've never seen Joe stare so intensely: this look was one that was more often seen on Nick's face than his own. I wanted to know what he was thinking; whatever plot he was trying to perfect. I know I should speak up and confront him and I plan to when I get a moment alone with him. Joe will never open up when there are people pressuring him like they were before. I can't change Joe's mind anymore than Stella can, but maybe I can get to the bottom of his anger. It can't all revolve around jealously of Nick and his daughter. There has to be something more.

And how could such a simple thing as a broken heart lead a man to ruining the lives of my brothers? So what if mom dumped him? He didn't have to turn into the boss of this corporation thing. He could have been the normal man and moved on. Why did mom always date the weird ones? Dad included.

"Aunt Stella?" Stella's face lit up at Carter's hushed call.

"Yeah hun?" Stella cooed, lifting the girl out of Macy's arms and holding her close when Carter lifted her arms to her.

"Why are some people so mean?" Again, I was stunned by how she could go from the daughter of a genius to a young girl in a matter of moments. It was just too easy to forget how innocent she actually was.

"Well," Stella looked over to me, as though asking for her next move. But I couldn't help her – Carter would have asked me if she wanted my answer. "Honestly, I don't know sweetie. I guess it depends on the person. Some people don't mean to mean, it's just who they are."

"Do you think the man behind this is just naturally mean?" I nodded, having no thought that the man behind this had even a shred of nice in him. "But then why did Grandma date him?"

"Time changes people." Stella threw a glare in Joe's direction before tugging a knot from her 'nieces' hair. Joe didn't even spare her a glace – he was completely unaware that he had even been on the receiving end of Stella's anger. Carter nodded, accepting this answer before climbing out of Stella's lap and back over the seats, plopping down into her father's. Stella smiled when the girl snuggled into Nick's chest and when he instinctively wrapped his arms around her. "Is it wrong that I want a kid?" She whispered and Carter looked over to her.

"No. We're awesome." Stella laughed lightly and Carter looked away, a question on her face but it was obvious she was embarrassed by it. But being the kid she was, she had to ask it anyway. "If Daddy and Macy get married, would that mean that I could get a brother or sister?"

Everyone looked towards the youngest, eyes wide with shock at her words. Even Joe was looking rapidly between our brother and the brunette. It was so obvious that I was astounded that we didn't see it before. But then again, this was the only sign we had – them close together in a cuddly manner and comfortable enough to sleep. That and Carter wasn't the type to lie.

"Let's hope that's not for a very long time sweetheart."

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Joe's PoV

They're all idiots. If Kevin thought a simple text to the police would get us to safety, he was wrong. No one knew this corporation like I did – the police won't stop them. All the men in blue will do is slow them down for a few hours, at most. Everyone will be doomed if they put their trust behind a few morons with guns. I don't understand it. They've seen what these people are capable of – who they are capable of changing and how long they hesitate before they kill – so why are they turning their backs and closing their eyes in blind faith that the bullets will miss?

Blind faith didn't save all of those people who burned on the race track or who spilled blood on that wooden table with me hovering over them. Closing my eyes and tightening that rope around a neck didn't save my daughter. Closing her eyes won't save Carter from watching her father fall. They just don't get it. Nothing will stop these people fro killing them and taking them back. They _always _get what they want. They desire money so they will take Nick back. They yearn for me to be out of the picture as I am the biggest threat of to them so they will kill me. They may get Nick back but they aren't going to get me.

I'm not going to let them get me.

And that little so-called angel was wrong – being a child wasn't awesome. Not in this day and age – not in her life. They wouldn't stop to take her age in consideration; they already hit her damn cars. I would bet whatever I had left to my name that the next car to hit her would be the final one. She may believe that her father and her innocence have the power to stop the inevitable but she was wrong. They all were wrong.

And it was my turn to be right.

Inconspicuously, I glanced over to my not-so-young brother and his old/new girlfriend. I knew I should be happy for them – for Macy's dream that she never let go of, for Carter getting a motherly figure in her life and for my brother finding the courage to love an old love again. I know I should be happy for them but I can't be. My stomach is twisted in knots that will never stop burning and my heart is constricting at the mere sight of the two. I could almost feel my blood boiling at the sight. It almost…it almost sickened me. Sickened me to the point of jealously. They were obtaining what they had in the past, plus a little person. That was something I could never obtain.

I've messed up that chance the first time I made the mistake to step out of that cell. I've messed it up when I let Stella who I really am now. I've messed everything up for me. I can't go back to being normal. I can't go back to being me.

But maybe I don't want to. Maybe now I just want to win and be right. If Nick and Macy want to pretend like everything is ok enough to be in mind clouding love, then they can die with their lies. I don't need to go back to the normal future – I don't need Stella or my baby to be happy.

I just need to win.

"Kevin? I saw a rest stop sign, can we please stop?" Frankie asked, crossing his legs and looking uncomfortable. Kevin glanced over to the cars occupants before nodding and taking the barren highway exit.

"It's best if we stop anyway." My older brother muttered as he stopped the car and walked with Frankie into the dingy brown brick building.

"I should go too." Stella said, looking to me with accusing eyes. "Can I trust you to stay here alone?" I put my hands in the air and gave her the most innocent look I could muster up. "If you do anything, I will kill you."

"I won't touch them." I vowed and she nodded, her glare never leaving my face. She crawled over and me out of the car, walking backwards, her eyes never leaving mine. She stumbled over the curb and went red in the face before walking the right way and disappearing inside.

I won't let them get me. I have to be right.

I stepped out of the car, closing the car door silently and watching Macy, Nick and the little devil. They didn't even stir. I glanced towards the building before bolting in the surrounding trees, away from the road. I won't let them get me like they did my daughter. I will avenge her. I will be right. This is my time to win, not for another flashback into the past.

This was my time. And I'm sorry for anyone who thinks it's theirs.

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**Chibiyu: **_And so starts the climax. I know it's not terribly long but I wanted to get back into the writing groove before my cousins came for the Harry Potter premiere. Until Next Update! _


	26. Dating Torture

**Chibiyu: **_I am going to finish this story before I update any other story on this site. And I'm kind of going to what I call forced isolation. No, not grounding. Just…not social for awhile._

**Nick: **_I don't know if that's good or a bad thing. Not getting ideas from the outside and not being able to vent…_

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**I stepped out of the car, closing the car door silently and watching Macy, Nick and the little devil. They didn't even stir. I glanced towards the building before bolting in the surrounding trees, away from the road. I won't let them get me like they did my daughter. I will avenge her. I will be right. This is my time to win, not for another flashback into the past. **

**This was my time. And I'm sorry for anyone who thinks it's theirs. **

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"JOE!"

I was jolted awake by the urgent shout and judging by the tightening of daddy's arms, he woke up too. Macy stirred and looked out the window, not understanding this any more than we were. Daddy opened the door and slowly stepped outside, pulling me out with him. He shifted me in his arms and I curled closer to him, looking around.

"He's gone." I whispered into Daddy's ear, pushing away one of his curls so I could get to it. "Joe's gone." Daddy nodded slowly and I watched his eyes scan the surrounding trees.

"He can't have been gone long." I heard him breathe but he made no attempt to run after him. "Kev?" He called out and I hid my smile by ducking my head into his shoulder. Daddy was playing dumb. "What happened?"

"Joe's gone." Said brother answer before ducking into the woods. He didn't stray form the car however. "Why would he run?"

Daddy and I both glanced over to Macy and to each other. He ran away – this was something Daddy and I knew quite a bit about. It wasn't uncommon for a racer to try and run for freedom, but it was common for them to be found. Joe was different from the racers though. He was smarter than just taking a car and running. I gave Daddy a meaningful look and he nodded, reaching back into the car and surreptitiously checking the glove compartment. I nodded and he pulled away, grabbing a tissue on the way out. Joe didn't take the guns.

"Why wouldn't he arm himself?" I whispered, grabbing the tissue and wiping my nose.

"Because he wants to run away from it all." He breathed, walking over to Macy and putting an arm around her. I scowled and turned away; knowing Daddy did this so we would get off of the subject. But I don't want to sit and listen, I just want to talk.

"Are you worried?" Macy asked, entwining hers and Daddy's fingers.

Daddy sighed and nodded. "Of course I am. Even though he isn't the nicest person," That being an understatement in my opinion, but no one ever listens to the three year old. "But he is still my brother. How can I not worry?"

"Anything?" We three looked up as Stella yelled from the other side. Kevin emerged empty handed.

Daddy unlaced his fingers from Macy and pointed to the spot in between Aunt Stella and Uncle Kevin. I have to get used to calling them that I guess. "He ran that way." Daddy revealed and Kevin wasted no time to run off. "KEVIN!" He turned as Daddy dropped something into Macy's hand. She nodded and threw it hard over to him. Uncle Kevin caught it and looked over curiously. "Better safe than sorry." Daddy stated before leaning against the car, his eyes weary.

"He won't find him." I guessed, feeling Daddy nod as I put my forehead on his shoulder. "So why did you tell him which way he went?"

I felt him turn his head and bury it in my hair to cover the fact we were talking. "Because I don't want to give up on my brother."

"Even though he was bad to you and me?"

"Blood runs thicker than water." He lifted his head and planted a kiss where his forehead was. "One day you'll understand." I scowled; I wanted to understand now. But Daddy was right – until I actually have a brother or sister, I won't get it. I may be a child genius, but I still don't know enough or have a lot of experiences. And I hated that – not comprehending.

"Nick?" Daddy and I turned to face Aunt Stella as she walked slowly over. "I'm sorry the last thing you said to Joe was in an argument."

"You talk like he's dead." Macy quickly inserted and I looked up to Daddy's eyes. I was sure I was the only one too see the pain he was hiding. Joe won't last for long alone. He may be dead before the sun sets.

Stella made a shushing noise and slapped Macy on the arm, glancing quickly to Daddy and me. "It's ok Stell." He whispered, putting me on the ground and stretching out his arms. "And I know. But I don't think it matters. Joe wouldn't believe if I said otherwise. Frankie's right." Nick turned to the young boy who was standing in the door of the rest house, eyeing the scene with silent tears. "He's changed."

Daddy walked over to my youngest uncle and pulled him into a hug, leaving me to cling to Macy's leg and sigh. Would we have a chance with Joe gone? I know killing is a terrible thing, but we may have needed him.

I froze and tore across the small grassed area and clamped onto Daddy's legs. Everyone looked to the entrance ramp as the sirens came closer. Kevin ran from the trees and pulled Frankie, Daddy and I over to the car. Daddy promptly scooped me up into his arms and held me tightly. Will they take me away from him? Daddy was forced to hurt and kill all those people so they won't take me from him, will they? He's a good Daddy! He would never hurt me! He did all that to protect me. I clung tightly to his neck, hiding my scared face. I don't want to leave Daddy.

"Kevin?" Daddy whispered when the first of four police cars pulled up.

"Don't worry, Nick. They'll find Joe."

"Not what I was worried about." Daddy breathed out, holding me as close as possible without squeezing me to tight.

Uncle Kevin glanced over and sighed, putting his hand on his brother's back. "It's ok. They already know about the stuff you did for Carter." Both of us looked at him, unable to believe our ears. "I kind of kept them updated when you all were sleeping." He glanced to our vice grips on each other before sighing sadly. "And they won't separate you two. They understand – it was self defense."

Though Daddy nodded, his grip on me did anything but loosen, especially when the police stepped out of the cars and slammed their doors. Nick shifted me so I was covered more by him when a few officers pointed their guns to us.

I felt Daddy shake violently when two officers noticed me and shifted their aim to Daddy. My own heart pounded against his side but his was far faster than mine. I put my hand over his heart and gripped his shirt, trying to get his attention.

"It's ok, Daddy." I whispered, looking anywhere but to his terrified eyes or to the guns pointing to us. "We'll be ok." I don't know if he heard me as he pressed me even tighter to him.

"Stand down!" One officer shouted as he pushed his way through the line of six. He flashed his badge to us and Kevin nodded.

"Are you Michael?" The oldest one here called. The man in blue nodded, watching Uncle Kevin carefully as he walked towards the line. Unheard words were shared between the two. Macy stepped in front of me, earning a thankful glance from Daddy and Stella pushed Frankie behind her.

Macy touched Daddy's arm gently. "Carter's right, Nick. It's going to be ok. Trust Kevin – he knows what he is doing." She sighed when Daddy didn't respond. "Carter's not going to be taken Nick. We won't let her."

"Even if it means running from the police, we won't be separated. Ever." Stella emphasized, turning to the oddly quiet Lucas behind her. "Are you alright Frankie?" He shook his head, choosing to keep his mouth shut.

"I don't understand." I said aloud, letting the four around me hear. "Why are they doing that?" I was referring to them pointing lethal weapons at us. "We aren't a threat…well much of one."

No one answered, not understanding either.

Kevin said some heated words and Daddy buried his face into my hair again. And one by one, the officers lowered their guns and holstered them. I patted Daddy's head and he lifted it slowly, evaluating the situation before letting his arms relax and allowing me to squirm so I could face the officers. Though I didn't want to admit it, I was scared too. Those days without Daddy were so scary. He wasn't there to hold me, to protect me and I was surrounded by the bad guys. I don't want to be without Daddy again, even if the bad guys aren't there. So even though his hold loosened, mine did not.

Uncle Kevin ran back to us and nodded, taking Frankie by the hand and grabbing Daddy's shoulder. "You three are going to ride with them. They will take Nick to the hospital," Daddy opened his mouth to protest, but Uncle Kevin silenced him with a look. "And they will keep Frankie and Carter close to him and _safe._"

"So what about us?" The girls questioned at the same time, not even fazed by this.

Kevin took a deep breath before nodding. "You are going to follow the police cars to the hospital. I am staying to help them look for Joe." His tone left no room for argument.

"When will we see you again?" Frankie finally broke his silence to ask.

"Tonight. I promise."

Frankie lunged forward and hugged Kevin tightly, not willing to let go of another brother. I reached forward when my youngest uncle stepped back again. He grabbed my hand gently and led us off to the blue and white cars. Daddy patted Uncle Kevin on the arm once before letting himself get carted off.

"Hello sweetie, I am Officer Mary. What's your name?"

"I'm not slow." I told her, hating her high pitched baby tone.

"Carter." Daddy scolded and I sighed, ducking my head. I know, I know: not everyone knows I am special. I squirmed all the while Officer Mary was hooking me into the child seat and I shot Daddy a glare when I heard him chuckle. "It's the law." He told me, shrugging but keeping a keen eye on the driver.

"Ok, that should do it!" Officer Mary stated. She held the other door open for Daddy.

"Hey Kevin!" He called, causing said brother to turn. "Don't get your hopes up." He sat next to me before my uncle could even blink in confusion. "They won't find him." Daddy whispered when the engine started.

"Let's hope no one does."

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Joe's PoV

I knew they were after me – I would have been stupid to think otherwise. So I kept moving at the same pace, knowing that I would be safe until tomorrow morning. _They _wouldn't know I ditched my family for awhile. At least, they shouldn't. They had to be watching us – how else would they keep finding us? And I broke away from the group so I should be safer and out of their eyes sight. Then again, the boss did know how to chase runners – he caught up with Mom didn't he?

What did Mom even see in him? Sure he shares her love of all things scary, action filled and loud, but he was a psycho! Why didn't Mom see that? Why did she get involved? She could have saved us, if she had known. How could she have known? How could she have known that her first three dates decided her first three son's fates?

A horror movie as a first date was innocent enough right? The guy feeling macho when the girl got scared and cuddled into him. Who knew he would use the same methods he saw on that Rated R screen on my older brother?

And who takes a girl on their second date to a Holocaust museum and turns her second son into a Hitler wannabe? Sure Sandy Lucas was awed and horrified by his power, but that doesn't mean she wanted her son to become him!

I can understand the Nascar race – mom loud that stuff and was always watching it with Dad and Kevin. Who knew a simple obsession would turn Nick into one of the maniacs on the track.

And what kind of messed up person associated torture methods with dates?

And Frankie asked the best question of them all: _but he killed Mom. Why would he still want revenge? _

Revenge is a fickle emotions and it often doesn't respond to reason. That man is held with by its hold and the more he struggles, the more he gets tangled in its thorns. He won't let this go until he is able to cut off the entire infected branch: until my whole family is gone. But I won't let him get me. I am out of revenge's hold and acting on my own wants. Revenge can't bring my daughter back. But maybe I can stop them from taking away everything I am. Maybe I can get away.

And that's what I intend to do.

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**Chibiyu: **_Not the best. I am really brain dead. But whatever. I need to finish this story. And it may end faster than I expected…like in two-three chapters. Yes there will be an epilogue. Until Next Update!_


	27. Somethings

**Chibiyu: **_Yeah. I want to write but I don't know what to say. I hate it when this happens._

**Nick: **_Doesn't it happen a lot?_

**Chibiyu: **_Yes. Yes it does. *sad face*_

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**Revenge is a fickle emotions and it often doesn't respond to reason. That man is held with by its hold and the more he struggles, the more he gets tangled in its thorns. He won't let this go until he is able to cut off the entire infected branch: until my whole family is gone. But I won't let him get me. I am out of revenge's hold and acting on my own wants. Revenge can't bring my daughter back. But maybe I can stop them from taking away everything I am. Maybe I can get away. **

**And that's what I intend to do. **

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_Joe's PoV_

I had gotten far in a matter of twelve hours and because of that fact, I was sitting comfortably with a small smile on my face. I didn't know where I was or were anyone else was for that matter, but I didn't care. I was tasting freedom for the first time in about four years. The only thing that would make it better was holding my baby. That can't happen though. It can never happen again. She's in Heaven and I know I'm going to Hell. It doesn't matter anyway – I don't deserve her. Did I ever?

I closed my eyes, enjoying the early morning breeze and the silence that only came at 4 am. Normally this level of quiet would send me into the fetal position while I begged for just a small whine of noise. But this quiet was different than the one I suffered in captivity. Here I was warm, alone, safe. Back then, everyone was cold and unfeeling. Back then, I was lucky if I felt the tears on my cheeks or heard a scream of pain. Now I was just lucky to be free.

I wonder what I would be doing if I hadn't had a luck streak? I wonder what poor soul would be dragged into the ten foot square room. I wonder if they would be tied down and gagged or held down. I wonder if they would have me chase them down. If I still was there, would I still be deaf to their pleas and numb to their blood that was sure to spoil my hands? There were two things I knew for certain: I would still be their little assassin and they would still lock me back in that cell, afraid I would break loose and turn on them. I _wonder _why they thought _I _would try and murder the ones who _killed _my _daughter_?

They were right to lock me away. If I hadn't been rotting in that concrete hole, not one of their heads would be on their shoulders. If they hadn't been using my fear of death against me my pointing a damn gun at my head every time I was allowed a breath of fresh air, if they hadn't used my daughter against me, then I wouldn't even be here right now. If they had been careless, then I would still be searching for my brothers, for what I ran away from.

But that is the 'if' in my life, the other reality. Something that will never happen. Yeah, I seemed to suffer from a lot of impossible 'somethings.'

But I can't be thinking about that right now, can I?

I lifted my gaze to the tree tops and the blue sky. What is my plan of action? Take down the Boss? How? I'm one person without a gun – I can't do that. And I won't. As much as I want to kill them for taking my daughter from me, I have to accept that they didn't kill her. And even if I had been there, all that would have happened was her dying in my arms. I can't blame the Boss for her death: she was sick; he didn't give her the virus. But I can blame him for letting her die alone. Is that worth charging to my death?

No.

So my plan of action? Live. Try and find a new life. Try and forget. Try and move on. That's really all I can do. Is there a life out there for a murderer that isn't behind bars?

I stood, looking around the green area before taking my next steps forward. I had to get away from these woods before I did anything else. Then I would have to worry about my appearance – knowing my brothers, they would put out a world wide search for me. I don't understand those three. I was horrible to them and they would still go after me. They shouldn't. I don't even want them too.

My life. My freedom.

They are going to be stuck in the past. Not me. I'm moving forward; away from everything that reminded me of pain. Away from that little brat Carter, away from the twinge I felt when I saw Nicholas and Macy together, away from the disappointment in Kevin's eyes, away from Frankie's fantasy about reuniting our perfect family, and away from Stella. Life can't be normal again: they can't accept that and its dragging them down. It will always drag them down.

I'm moving on and climbing up. Leaving them stranded.

I stopped I my tracks, my feet skidding slightly on the leaves. If I left them, would it be like me leaving Mary?

I blinked and shook my head. They aren't helpless. They aren't sick. They aren't alone. They aren't as important. They will never be as important as her life. And as mine. I have to leave them behind.

And I smiled, taking my next steps with ease. They won't hold me back.

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Macy's PoV

Everyone was antsy. It's been twelve hours and there hasn't been word from Joe or Kevin. Frankie and Carter both nearly passed out from exhaustion as they both stayed up in worry. Nick, Stella and I only got them to lie down about an hour ago. Both were curled up on one day, Nick's hand victim to Carter's vice grip. He didn't seem to care though. He was just staring off into space, not moving from his perch on the edge of the bed.

Stella and I were both sitting in the middle of the bed, alternating between watching the tiny room's phone and the only other awake occupant. It was weird to hear this ringing silence: everyone had been complaining about being shipped over here and Nick had a few heated words about Kevin pushing us away for our own well being. His argument was about family staying together, no matter what happened. Of course Kevin had no idea what he said and no idea that this whole hospital thing was unnecessary. But then again, he was just trying to do whatever he could to keep us safe, healthy and happy. We all understood that. Somewhat.

"I hope they're ok." Stella whispered, earning a nod from me. "Nick?" We both waited a moment but there was no response that our friend heard us. I sighed and shook my head towards Stella before standing. I walked over and touched his shoulder. He jumped violently, his head flying up and his eyes wide.

"You ok?" I lightly questioned, taking in the dark circles under his eyes.

"Just worried." He breathed out, looking over and smiling softly at his daughter and brother. "Joe and I may have a rocky relationship right now, but he's still my brother." He sighed, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "I don't know why he left."

"And you're driving yourself crazy trying to figure it out?" Stella kindly asked, reaching over and grabbing my arm. She pulled herself form the bed, nearly toppling me over in the process.

"Pretty much." Nick said after my stumbling moment was over. "I just…" He shook his head, looking back to the two on the bed. "I don't want their last memory of him to be me and him fighting."

"Last memory?" Stella walked over to him and gently put her hands on his shoulders. "He's going to be fine. Kevin will find him." She urged but Nick freed himself and averted his gaze. "Why don't you believe that?"

The young father closed his eyes and held his breath for a second. "Even though Joe is a complete idiot, he knows how to get what he wants. He ran because he wanted to get away. He won't be found until he wants to be." He looked up, his dark eye flooded with worry. "And when he wants to, it may be too late."

"Hey," I tried, putting my fingers under the brother's chin and turning his head so he was facing me. "We can still hope. Joe is smart. He will stay safe."

"I hope you're right."

"I am." I smiled small towards him and put my forehead on his. "Have faith." His eyes searched mine for a brief moment before he nodded.

"That's all we can have at this point." Stella muttered, looking towards the door. "If Joe dies, I am going to kill him." She laughed at her own statement. "And if Kevin does anything stupid out there, I am going to wish he never made us all leave."

"Well I didn't do anything stupid." The three of us turned and smiled tiredly at Kevin. He closed the door quietly and opened his hands, shrugging. "Nothing."Stella and I looked to Nick, who just shook his head sadly. We all watched him turn and push his daughter's hair from her face. "Nick, what do you know?"

He was silent for a moment, choosing to lean down and kiss Carter's head then to answer his brother. "I don't know anything." He finally whispered, detangling his hand from Carter's, only to pick her up and cuddle her against his chest. Everyone believed him – there was no doubting the pain and aggravation behind his words.

Kevin nodded, before sitting on one of the many cots on the floor. "I'm sorry."In a matter of seconds, Carter was back on the bed and Nick was on the cot next to his brother, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry everything is falling apart." Kevin ducked his head, but that couldn't hide his shaking shoulders. "It was m-my job to keep us to-together and s-safe. To protect you. And I failed."

"No, you didn't." Nick was quick to put in, resting his forehead above Kevin's ear. "You rescued us. You got us freedom and safety. You reunited our family and accepted everything that came with it." I glanced to Carter and Stella pursed her lips, probably thinking of Joe and his new attitude. "And I am so proud of you for staying brave and collected throughout all of this. I'm proud of you for saving us. You could never fail us, Kevin. Never. We love you."

Kevin wrapped his arms around his younger brother, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. "I shouldn't have let him out of my sight."

"None of us could have predicted this, Kev." I whispered, kneeling in front of the brothers.

Stella laughed lightly, hiding the sob that escaped her throat. "It's Joe. When have we ever been able to predict it?"

Kevin nodded, still clamped firmly around Nick. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that." Nick pulled away and forced his older brother to look him in the eyes. "You have _nothing _to be sorry about. You did everything you could. You saved us. It's not your fault Joe decided to take his own path."

Stella walked over and sat next to Kevin, resting her hand on his back. "Let's just pray that path leads him back to us."

We were quiet for a good ten minutes, watching Kevin wipe his eyes and Nick lean against him, knowing his brother was still distressed. I wrapped my arms around my best friend and held her when her unseen tears burned my arm. She still loved him. And now she knew that to him, she wasn't worth it. If Joe ever comes back, I will murder him for breaking her heart.

"We should get some rest." Kevin half heartedly suggested. No one moved. Deep down, I knew that none of us would be able to sleep soundly until we were all back together. Joe may be changed, but he was still in our family. Nothing would change that.

Joe, I hope you know what you're doing.

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I hit the ground running but there's no hope for escape. But I still have to try.

It's try or die. There has never been another option.

They don't care who I am and what I've done. They only care that I am alive when in their minds, I should be dead. I should be rotting six feet under with all the others they forced me to kill. I should be dead because I was the monster they always wanted me to be. Because I could turn on them and take out a few of them before they took out me. And if I go that chance, then I would make sure to get rid of the ones who started this all – who didn't let me get to my daughter, who killed my family, and who hurt them and me. And yet, it's not my fault that I happen to be this way or that I believe in what I do. None of this is my fault. Sometimes, I just don't have a choice. In this life, this world, I never did.

But I am making a choice.

And what is that choice?

To live. To be free.

But as a gun shot slices through the thickening air, you realize, that sometimes, even the best choices, aren't the right ones.

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**Chibiyu: **_You recognize that last passage? Here's a hint: it's the prologue. Two more chapters? I think? Until Next Update! _


	28. Gone

**Chibiyu: **_I need to finish this story. _

**Nick: **_I don't think I've see you so eager to complete one of your 'babies.'_

**Chibiyu: **_I literally need a new story right now and some time to get inspiration for my rewritten Breathing Underwater. And I think I'm going insane._

**Nick: **_What else is new?_

**Chibiyu: **_Oh aren't you supportive? _

**Nick: **_I don't think I have to be considering you torture and kill me and brothers for fun. Besides, wouldn't 'insanity' be a step up for you?_

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**But as a gun shot slices through the thickening air, you realize, that sometimes, even the best choices, aren't the right ones. **

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_Nick's Pov_

_ Kevin was snoring. Macy and Stella were out cold. Frankie and Carter were dead to the world. And I wasn't even in the hospital._

_The wind blasted my face and the engine rumbled loudly as I tore across the asphalt. Joe was out there and he wasn't anywhere near safe. I shared Joe's skeptical attitude when it came to trusting the men in blue. Yes they were trained for this, but they've never even thought of anything like this. The boss and his corporation are more then capable of taking care of a few hundred officers. They only have one weakness: themselves. Or in other words, the ones they've trained. And for that reason alone is why I was out here, gun pressed to my thigh, and a stolen motorcycle's handlebars clutched tightly under my fingers. _

_Rule one: use anything you can to get ahead. Speed and maneuverability is what I need. A car can't offer that. Yes, it offers more protection but I need something that can slip into tight spaces. Something that can get away. _

_Rule two: never back down. Joe is my brother. I won't leave him behind. He may have attacked my daughter, but I believe he can change again. _

_Rule three: always win. And I intend to. _

_No one messes with Nick Lucas. _

_My eyes scanned the woods as I triple checked the calculations. Joe was an endurance runner. He could easily run for about four hours. He would have stayed moving for all of the thirteen hours he was gone. He would have gone west, away from the corporation and away from the road. I revved the engine, speeding along the highway at ninety miles an hour, knowing I wouldn't get pulled over as all the cops in the area were searching for my brother. My brother who was currently around eighty five miles away._

_I can get to him in an hour. Less if I care about the road laws. I smirked and tightened my fingers. _

_Another race wouldn't kill me. _

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_Carter's PoV_

I opened my eyes, instantly knowing that I wasn't curled up next to Daddy. I don't need him to sleep, but I liked knowing where he was: him being near meant me being safe. I scanned the room, frowning at Uncle Frankie, rolling my eyes at Uncle Kevin, and crossing my arms at Aunt Stella and Macy. No Daddy. I should have expected this. He came back to the heck hole to save me and now he is diving back into it to try and find Joe. I still don't get it. Why would Daddy want to save someone who constantly harassed him and me? It was weird.

I pushed myself off the bed and landed with a slight thud. I walked over to Kevin's cot and shook him.

"Uncle Kevin?" I whispered, pursing my lips when his hand pushed me away. "Uncle Kevin!" I called again, shaking him harder. He groaned and peeled his eyes open, looking at me blearily. "Wake up." I ordered, pushing him on his back.

"What is it Carter?" He whispered, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Daddy's gone after Joe."

Kevin sat up faster than I could blink and stood even faster. He grabbed the phone, telling me to wake the others. I nodded and jumped onto the girl's bed, jumping a few times before kicking them in the back. I leapt over them over to Frankie's bed and shook him lightly. He was up before the girls were.

"Whas da matter?" Stella asked, rolling on her back and covering her eyes with her arms.

"Nick's gone." Everyone sat up at those words, looking around the room as if they would find him hiding under a bed. "Carter thinks he went after Joe."

Macy squinted as she looked at me, not used to the light yet. Kevin started talking into the phone, probably warning the police to look for Nick too. "Why would Nick leave you here to look for someone who hates him and his daughter?"

I shrugged and shook my head. "He said something about blood being thicker than water."

"Wait, you saw him before he left?" I looked to Frankie and rolled my eyes.

"No. It was before the police showed up." I said it in my best 'duh' voice – something I picked up from Stella.

"Watch your tone." Macy scolded, pulling me up and putting me on the floor. "I think you need to stand silently in the corner."

I turned and looked at her, skeptical written all over my face. "Really? The corner punishment?" Macy stood her ground and pointed. I sighed and followed her bidding, wondering what standing in a corner and staring at the wall would make me learn. It was just above spanking; stupid, mind numbing, no lesson learned.

I wonder if Daddy is having more luck than I am.

"They won't find him." I whispered when Kevin started shouting at the police at the door for letting Daddy slip by. "Daddy's too smart for that."

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_Third Person – I couldn't decide on a PoV_

Gun shots.

Nick's ears perked up as he pressed himself closer to the motorbike as he slowed. The ruble of the engine turned into a purr and settled into a deep hum. His intense eyes scanned the back road, noting the sparse trees even though the forest ended about fifty feet back. Field grass surrounded the area, offering the perfect place to duck in for a quick escape. He advanced carefully, trying to look like a civilian just passing by than someone who was on the hunt.

Birds took off in the field to his left, causing him to instantly turn and stare. Someone was there, watching him just as he was them. He kicked the bike into drive and sped off at a modest pace. Joe wasn't back there – he was farther ahead. They were trailing him, just like Nick was, except Nick was far better than them when it came to outrunning the competition.

"I'm coming, Joe." He whispered against the wind, slowing again as he rounded a turn on the dirt road. "Now, where are you?" His eyes darted to the mirrors, watching the road behind him when another gun shot sounded. They weren't aiming at anything though: they were trying to draw Joe out. Nick stopped the bike, the single headlight shining on the dusted curb. He carefully got off the black bike and looked at the imprint in the dirt, smiling slightly. "I got you now."

"No you don't!"

Something heavy fell on top of the young man, causing him to fall back and hit his head hard on the road. He thanked whoever there was to thank that it wasn't concrete. Hands found his throat and he was quick to force his knees to his stomach and push up. His attacker was thrown a few feet from him, but he didn't stay down.

With a pounding heart, Nick rolled back into his feet and centered himself, ready to defend himself. The guy charged over to him and Nick jumped out of the way, watching the man skid to a stop and promptly lose balance.

"Joe?" Nick had only seen one other person fall so comically before.

"Nick?" Joe picked himself up and dusted off his shirt, looking oddly at his younger sibling. "What are you doing here?" That question was not nearly as nice as his other. The biting edge to his voice almost had Nick back on the motorcycle and driving off, leaving his brother to his chosen fate.

"What does it look I'm doing?" Nick kicked the bike lightly and gestured for his brother to come closer. "We don't have time to argue, Joe." The older stayed put, his silhouette blurred by the night. "I won't bring you back if you don't want to come. Let me just et you somewhere safe."

Joe eyed both his brother and the bike. "Does it have enough gas? We may have to go far." Nick nodded, not elaborating on how or where he filled the gas tank. "What about Carter?"

Nick took a deep breath, looking pained before he turned his eyes back to the two glinting in the shadows. "She is with the others. If anything happens to me, they will take care of her. She will be safe."

"You're willing to risk your daughter growing up without you to help me?" Joe asked, quite skeptical to his brother's words. Joe knew he didn't deserve this kindness – he didn't even want it. But he had no choice: he had to accept it. It was either that or die.

Nick didn't answer for a moment, choosing to dust off the bike seat instead. "You're my brother, Joe. I don't want the last time I see you to be in a casket." He hopped on the machine and kicked the kick-stand up. "You coming?"

"Can you even drive that thing?" Nick cocked his eyebrow at the question and didn't answer it, leaving his brother to fill in the silent "duh." Joe nodded to himself before walking over and sitting behind Nick.

"Hold on." Joe barely had time to heed Nick's order before the violent acceleration. He had to redouble his grip when the road quickly turned to cement, the bump from the transition off seating him.

"Slow down!" Joe yelled into his brother's ear, only earning a laugh in reply. His eyes widened dramatically when Nick put one fist in the air and whooped, pulling back on the highway. "Two hands!"

Nick slowed down to seventy, his eyes darting all around before he glanced back to his passenger. "Where to?" You could still hear the laughter in his voice from his older brother's fear.

"Anywhere." Joe whispered, not releasing his death grip. "Are you ok to be driving?"

"Maybe. Why do you care?" Joe blanched, not comfortable with the word 'maybe.'

"Because I want to live!"

Nick just laughed and accelerated, causing Joe to squeeze even tighter and hide his face in Nick's back for a moment. "We won't crash." Nick reassured him, taking one hand off the handles and prying off Joe's fingers. "A little looser please, Joe." To the younger's relief, Joe did as asked only making Nick swear that he wouldn't do any stupid tricks.

They went on for a minute without talking, both looking around haphazardly and both feeling like screaming when a deer bolted form the sound of the engine.

Suddenly, Joe was slammed into Nick. "What the he –

Joe's words were stolen from his throat when he was violently whipped around. He felt Nick put his leg out, his foot scrapping against the concrete from the sudden turn. And they were off again, faster than ever, going the wrong way on the highway. Joe turned his head, about to question why Nick panicked like that when he saw two headlights tailing them. He pressed himself closer to his brother, not comfortable with putting his life in Nick's hands. His only thought: _I shouldn't have come with him._

Nick's head turned, the only warning Joe received before his brother took another sharp turn, swerving around and bolting up a highway exit. Joe turned and watched as they went on the overpass: the pursuing car swerved, taking far longer than their bike did to make the turn and far longer to accelerate once again. Maybe Nick did know what he was doing.

Arms reached out of the car windows, exposing guns. Ok, maybe not. Nick turned his head at the numerous bangs, his eyes scanning the roads under this bridge.

"Do you trust me?" He yelled over the wind and Joe found himself shaking his head and clinging to his brother tighter. Joe thought to the last time Nick had asked that. Yes, it had worked, but Joe wasn't sure he wanted to go through anything like that again. The elder glanced over the edge and swallowed, one phrase coming to mind when Nick swerved and revved the engine: _action movie time. _

Joe's screams filled the air but Nick heard nothing other than the faint rumble of the engine beneath him. The world to him was blank; nothing matter but his job: safety.

"Let's see a car do this." He muttered, his words barely heard by his passenger.

"Do what?" Joe shrieked, making sure to hang onto his brother so tightly that it was a surprise Nick could still breathe.

Joe's question was answered when Nick ducked his head, slowed the bike, and pushed at the ground with his feet. Nick's order to hang on was lost to Joe's unending curses. The driver crushed the accelerator, the wheels spinning for a few moments on the cement before meeting the open air.

The pursuing car stopped, its occupants shooting at the two as they threw themselves over the overpass barrier and down to the unseen road.

Joe's harsh words were silenced. He had buried his face into his brother's back, not willing to look at what they were going to crash into. The sickening feeling of falling reached both of the rider's stomachs, but only one had shaking hands. Joe felt the bike tipping backwards, his grip on his brother never straying. He found himself praying that Nick knew what he was doing. His eyes widened and he sucked in breath, renewing both his grip and letting out a scream.

The youngest Lucas didn't notice the grip around his chest or the screams and gun shots filling his ears. He had one objective now: landing. It was the one thing Nick had issues with – sure, he could blow things up and win races, but landing after even the smallest airborne incident wasn't his forte. He had found that bit out the hard way: with explosions and with many a scrape. He found himself hoping that this was the time he perfected it, or at least didn't crash the motorcycle.

With the front wheel high in the air, Nick took a deep breath and loosened everything but his grip on the metal machine.

A fifteen foot drop never seemed so long.

The back wheel slammed into the concrete, the front soon to follow. Both boys gasped out when the front wheel touched down, the bike wobbling dangerously for three seconds before Nick gained the courage to gun it and speed away. Nick felt Joe's stuttering heart beat match his own as he drove for a mile before finally pulling over and falling off the bike, his legs too shaky from adrenaline to fully support him. Joe did the same, falling with much less grace than his younger sibling.

"I hate doing that." Nick said, his voice breathy as he panted, trying to regain some control. "But at least I landed it…for the first time." Nick ducked his head when Joe threw him an exasperated look. "I had to be bad at something!" The younger tried to clarify, not looking towards his brother. "We're safe for now. We can breathe."

Nick reached back and pulled something out of his back pocket, flipping it open. His face was illuminated by the cell screen and he sighed, closing his eyes for a second. "The police say Kev's freaking out because I left unannounced. But it doesn't matter: they know where I am and they were tailing us the entire time, waiting for things to get ugly and to step in."Nick paused to take a shaky breath, before resuming explaining. "They are going to take out the car and use one man to get inside the corporation and take it down. Their one weakness is themselves. I still don't trust them fully, but there are some good people forced into doing bad. If the police can find those few then everything will turn out alright."

Nick looked over to Joe, wondering why he was so quiet. "Are you ok?" Nick's eyes widened when Joe pulled his hand away from his lower back. His palm was covered in blood.

"Joe!" Nick was instantly by his brother's side, pulling him over and supporting him. "How bad?" He struggled to keep the tremor from his voice, but there was no stopping the frantic bursts of his heart.

"Pretty bad." Joe whispered back, wincing when he shifted to get weight off his right side. "But most people don't die from getting shot here." Nick looked back and swallowed at the tiny hole in Joe's shirt, trying not to see the red seeping out and growing.

"A shot to the head seems to work." Both brothers jumped. Joe hissed out when Nick pulled him over, shielding him against his chest as he glared at the man in front of them. The man smiled at the younger's guts – not many can glare down the barrel of a gun.

"Why are you here?" The younger spat out. Joe shivered at the amount of hatred in Nick's voice, understanding who this man was before he even could get a look to confirm it. Joe did manage to lift his head after a moment and stare at the tall figure. All the boys could see were the glinting of his eyes, the broadness of his shoulders and the menacing sheen of the gun.

The man took one step forward, keeping out of the thin headlight and smiled. "Nicholas." He whispered causing said boy to cringe slightly, his grip on Joe redoubled. "Why are you helping that murderer?"

"That _murderer,_" Nick inserted without missing a beat, "Is my brother."

The man laughed and spread his arms wide. "And I am your child's grandfather."

"You are _nothing _to her." The father hissed with anger in his eyes that said more than words ever could. The message was clear: _you leave her out of this. _"And you're nothing to us."

He man knelt down, easily leveling the pistol with the curly haired male's head. "Nothing? That man in your arms is nothing." Nick glanced to Joe, holding him closer at these words, as though daring the boss to try and tear them apart. "He is the one who hates you and your daughter more than anything. That doesn't sound like a brotherly thing to do. He attacked her, pointed a gun to her, and killed in front of her."

"Nothing you haven't done."

Joe looked up to his brother, not understanding why he was defending him with such vigor. The boss was right: he wasn't a brother to Nick. He didn't even want to be. Nick knew this and he still chose to defend him in the face of both their deaths. It touched him. And it also sickened him.

"Nick, what are doing?" He hissed out, trying to get out of the crushing embrace. "Save yourself and leave me."

"Oh, if he leaves, he will die." Joe looked over to the man and Nick nodded slowly. He had known that. But he wasn't staying for his own life. He wouldn't leave Joe in this situation. He wouldn't let him die alone. "But he can live." Joe nudged Nick, telling him to take that option. "He can take this gun and shoot you, Joseph. Then he can follow me back to the race track and _provide_ for my needs."

Nick shuddered violently at these words, but his glare did not falter. "Never." Nick's hand fell from Joe's arm and scratched under his shirt. The boss dismissed the action as a nervous twitch, but Joe felt Nick's fingers tighten into a fist.

"Look at the benefits before you decide." The boss told him with an oily tone. "Your brother won't harm anyone again. Your daughter will be safe with the rest of your family. You have the power to end this Lucas. Just say yes, take the gun, and kill him."

Nick ducked his head and Joe was afraid to look in his eyes. Joe wanted to live. He didn't want his own brother to betray him and kill him. He wanted to live and be free. That was all. Nick may not give him that chance. But he tried didn't he? Would he give up his efforts and give in to save everyone else?

"Nick?" Joe whispered, looking up but not into his brother's eyes. "Thanks for trying."

"I'm not done yet."

Nick yanked his hand out and a loud bang shattered the silence. The man in front of them was pushed back by the blow, landing hard and his head smashing against the concrete. The man howled out, a second delayed and grabbed his knee, before peeling himself from the ground. Even in the shadows, Joe saw a dark substance leaking onto the man's pant leg.

"You didn't kill him?"

"You try shooting a gun with your left hand!" Nick countered, in a sudden foul mood from the man's accusation and the fact that Joe thought he would actually kill his own brother. The man clambered to his feet, panting heavily as he raised the gun and stumbled back a step. Joe pried the metal from Nick's fingers and aimed it as well.

"One wrong move." Joe warned, his finger tapping the trigger. The boss smirked and Nick opened his mouth to scream.

One bang was heard, two bullets fired.

Both found their mark.

The boss fell back, his last echo of pain etched on his face. The ground shook slightly from the graceless tumble. A bullet fired from the impact, shooting far away from the two brothers. Gleam-less eyes were left to stare into space.

But Nick didn't see any of that. He felt Joe get pushed back into him. He felt something warm seep onto his bare arms and fingers. He felt his brother convulse in pain. He felt Joe grow still.

"Joe?" Sobs harshly ripped from his throat as his fingers danced on Joe's chest, trying to find his heart. "P-please J-Joe, don't g-go." He begged in a broken tone.

"N-nick?" The called brother leaned closer, putting his forehead on top of his brothers. This was the last time he would get to speak to his brother. "I-I'm s-s-sorry."

Nick shook his head, unable to see Joe's face through his own mask of tears. "Don't be." He whispered, understanding why his brother acted like he did. He understood what Joe lost. He understood why he was so bitter and angry and so intent on freedom. "Go to her, Joe. Mary's waiting." Nick wanted Joe to die with a smile on his face – it was the last thing Nick could do for him: stay with him and let him die happy. "You're finally free." Nick's heart shattered into dust when he heard Joe choke on a breath.

"I'm s-scared." The older finally admitted, grasping Nick's hand with whatever meager strength he had left. He was cared that he didn't feel the stinging burn of pain. Scared that he barely felt Nick's too-tight grip on him. Scared that he was beginning to feel cold. "This is what Mary felt." Strength was coming to him, but he knew it meant nothing. Even though he was strong enough to control his voice, he felt his heart weaken and slow. He felt the chill seeping into his veins.

"No." Nick whispered, pulling Joe's head to his chest. "Mary was alone. You won't be."Joe closed his eyes and nodded. Something hot was falling on his head and his blurred mind couldn't identify them as his brother's tears. "I love you, Joe. Even after everything, you're still my brother. You're still my best friend."

Joe smiled into Nick's chest, the brother feeling this and trying to smile too. Nick felt tears mix with blood and he held onto his brother even tighter, his sobs dying down for the moment. "Love you too." He faintly heard Joe breathe out. Nick choked down a wail when Joe's hold on his hand loosened and when he registered how cold the digit actually was.

"Please God, have mercy on him." Nick found himself whispering, over and over as he clutched onto Joe and rocked back and forth. And then Nick's words stopped and his breathing came to a halt.

Joe's heart had stopped. His brother was gone.

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**Chibiyu: **_The next chapter is the epilogue! Until Last Update! _


	29. Epilogue: Flashback

**Chibiyu: **_I always write the epilogue right after I finish the last chapter. _

**Nick: **_Why?_

**Chibiyu: **_Because it usually makes up for whatever mutiny I created last chapter. _

**Nick: **_*snorts* yeah right. _

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**Joe's heart had stopped. His brother was gone.**

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The police had come too late. They had taken one man who had befriended Nick and used him to take down the corporation. The boss was dead. Their pasts were behind them. But the pain still lingered, flashing them back to the moments they all hated most. Macy watching Kevin get dragged away. Frankie realizing that his family will never be fully healed. Stella watching Joe and Nick leave her, kneeling in the grass with guns to their heads. Kevin finding his brothers and neither one of them willing to come with him at first. Carter looking down the barrel of her uncle's gun. Nick watching Joe die in his arms. It all kept coming back to them, flashing their minds back in time and then punting them into the present.

It had been a year. Isn't pain supposed to fade?

Macy glanced out the window, watching Nick sit on the lawn chair. Carter's screams filled their backyard as she chased the little puppy around, his tiny legs more than a match for a five year old. She looked down to her finger, smiling slightly at the ring: that was the only moment no one felt pain. She lifted her gaze back to her husband and sighed deeply. Only she and Carter noticed the pain still in his eyes and the memory haunting him.

Nick raised his head when their dog bounded onto his lap and started yapping. Carter raced over and threw herself in her father's arms, the familiar word _Daddy _falling off her tongue. Nick smiled and hugged them both, letting go of his pain and letting in the love.

"Macy?" She turned and smiled to the taller woman, reaching out and pulling her into a hug.

"Danielle!" She exclaimed happily, looking to her sister-in-law. "How are you and Kevin and Frankie?"

Dani smiled brightly and took Macy's hand, placing it on her slightly protruding belly. "I'm getting bigger each day and Kevin nearly crushed his hand getting the baby's room ready. Frankie choose the color for the walls and the most complicated crib for him to put together." I laughed and looked over to the man in question. He held up his bandaged hand and I rolled my eyes.

"You're such a klutz when it comes to handling a hammer." I commented lightly before opening the window and calling in my family.

Dani eyed me before beaming brightly and taking my hands again. She leaned closer, her eyes on my own stomach and whispered a few words in my ear that had me blushing and ducking my head. "Is Carter ok with getting a sibling?"

I was about to answer when Frankie's voice cut in. "Where's Stella?"

"She'll be along." I told them, smiling when Nick's arms came around me. Carter ran in, the puppy tucked snuggly in her arms. She was showing off the puppy to Frankie when I leaned back against Nick. "Do you think she's ok?" He only offered a shrug, his mind obviously elsewhere.

"What's its name?" Dani cooed when she took the little white spaniel from our daughter.

"Joey." She looked over to Nick. "After Uncle Joe." I wrapped my arms around Nick's and sighed when I felt something wet land in my hair. Carter walked over and clamped herself around our legs.

"We miss you, Uncle Joe."

…

Stella stood slowly, looking at her handiwork. It had been a year and still her heart suffered from the lack of change. She told herself she should move on, she was better to move on, and yet, she couldn't. The past was still haunting her in ways everyone knew, but no one fully understood.

"We miss you." She breathed, touching the freshly laid flower petals. "I hope you're happy." She wished she knew if Joe was smiling, holding his daughter closely and loving her. She wished she could see him, smiling and laughing like he used to. Singing in a way that touched and captivated her heart. But the dead don't smile. Or laugh. Or sing.

All that was left were memories.

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**Chibiyu: **_Bittersweet, leaning more towards the 'bitter.' Thanks for sticking with this rather pointless story. Thank you for your kind words and your patience. I love you all. Until Next Story._


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